@simonslapstick.bsky.social
Reposted
My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
January 4, 2026 at 2:02 AM
My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
Reposted
Festive.
December 6, 2024 at 4:00 AM
Festive.
A fantastic cozy follow on here.
Loaves with shining fresh crusts—seeded, patterned, farls, cobs, and batons—ranged between cheeses of pale gold and white. Pies and tarts, blackberry, pear, plum, and raspberry, latticed or open, twinkled as their fillings caught the candle and lantern lights.
December 2, 2024 at 3:47 AM
A fantastic cozy follow on here.
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they say i'm not supposed to put the Q-Tip into my ear canal but that's where the spider is
November 25, 2024 at 6:43 PM
they say i'm not supposed to put the Q-Tip into my ear canal but that's where the spider is
Reposted
Lightning McQueen: I can’t move! My driver is dead!
(his door swings open. A very old man is handcuffed to the steering wheel)
Mater: Don’t ya fret, Lightning! We’ll hunt down a new driver for you in the Human Lands
(his door swings open. A very old man is handcuffed to the steering wheel)
Mater: Don’t ya fret, Lightning! We’ll hunt down a new driver for you in the Human Lands
November 18, 2024 at 7:08 PM
Lightning McQueen: I can’t move! My driver is dead!
(his door swings open. A very old man is handcuffed to the steering wheel)
Mater: Don’t ya fret, Lightning! We’ll hunt down a new driver for you in the Human Lands
(his door swings open. A very old man is handcuffed to the steering wheel)
Mater: Don’t ya fret, Lightning! We’ll hunt down a new driver for you in the Human Lands
Go back and read this from
The beginning!
The beginning!
November 18, 2024 at 4:02 AM
Go back and read this from
The beginning!
The beginning!
Reposted
Elon: We cut so much government waste. There was one ridiculous $300 billion program called “Mole People Annual Tribute”
(the ground beneath Washington DC starts rumbling)
(the ground beneath Washington DC starts rumbling)
November 16, 2024 at 7:14 PM
Elon: We cut so much government waste. There was one ridiculous $300 billion program called “Mole People Annual Tribute”
(the ground beneath Washington DC starts rumbling)
(the ground beneath Washington DC starts rumbling)
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[standing on your lawn, craning neck so face can be seen while training FIM-92 Stinger SAM launcher in your direction] ♫ Now bring us some figgy pudding,
December 8, 2023 at 4:18 PM
[standing on your lawn, craning neck so face can be seen while training FIM-92 Stinger SAM launcher in your direction] ♫ Now bring us some figgy pudding,
Reposted
i dropped my phone in the toilet and i didn't have any rice so i buried it in a pet sematary
November 16, 2023 at 7:39 PM
i dropped my phone in the toilet and i didn't have any rice so i buried it in a pet sematary