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falseknees.bsky.social
False Knees
@falseknees.bsky.social
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falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 4
The three knights are beside their respective steeds on the ground layered in yellow oak leaves. The yellow knight has a bumblebee, who is eating from a plate of flowers; the blue knight, who has a crossbow and an eyepatch, has a dragonfly who is eating from a bucket of pink slop; the red knight, speaking expressively with wings spread wide, has a snail. Later that evening, the knights packed for their queste. "I have ne'er afore encountered a Dragon" admitted the yellow knight, who fought for honour and glory, "are they large beasts?" "And where shall we seek one?" added the blue knight, who was very cool. "Friends! Worry not, for I am an expert in such matters! said the red knight, who was a great liar. Note: there is a small drawing of Grell and Bagglyn watching the knights very obviously from behind a fence.
November 10, 2025 at 7:29 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 3
Two peasant warblers are speaking to each other in the crowd. The first is yellow and gray-blue and is wearing a red hat, medieval-style. The second is dark gray and orange-yellow and is wearing a sort of brown tunic, medieval-style? The crowd around them are all drawn in uniform purple to make them blend in. "I wish t' see a Dragon!" exclaimed Bagglyn, a lowly worm-whistler from Mudhole, straining to see over the crowd. "I know wherein them noble knights keep their noble steeds!" replied her friend, Grell, the stable boy, "We could follow 'em in secret on their noble queste!"
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 2
A large crowd of birds is gathered in front of the Queen, who is an ovenbird wearing a crown and a purple cape with white furry trim. There are three knights standing at the end of the royal rug: a redstart wearing a helmet with a red plume, a yellow warbler with a belted sword and metal boots, and a cerulean warbler who has some straps but we see nothing else. There are yellow and purple bunting flags and some banners showing the Queen's image. Growing increasingly eccentric in Her old age, the Queen ordered Her three finest knights on a most dangerous queste: to retrieve the head of a Dragon!
November 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Kneesvember 2025 Day 1
Birds are flying toward a castle with several red-roofed towers built at the top of an enormous oak tree. The sky is blue and there are wispy clouds. The tree is full of orange leaves and there are red and yellow trees in the distance. The image is bordered by a red, yellow, and blue, uh... border, with little stars and patterns. On the Queen's seventh birthday, brids from across the warbler realm were flocking to Oakcliffe Castle to take part in the festivities. (The first letter is illustrated in its own cute little box, technically termed an historiated initial, like in medieval manuscripts)
November 7, 2025 at 4:22 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Lucca! I will be signing today from 4-7pm at the Gigaciao booth. Come by and say tweedle chirp chirp tweet
October 30, 2025 at 11:57 AM
falseknees.bsky.social
A bird/human monstrosity sits on a train looking at its phone as the countryside goes by out the window. The train stops and the bird puts down its crossword app to look at a town flying an italian flag. "Huh?" asks the guy/bird "How did I get to Ireland?" A neighbouring passenger says (in italian) "This is the italian flag ... you're in Italy" to which our bird responds "...um" while typing on its phone. In the final panel we see the screen of the bird's phone, where it is trying to translate from English to Irish "Where can I go birdwatching?" Typing this out makes it seem like it doesn't make any sense. But to paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, go inside my head and then tell me it's not funny.
October 22, 2025 at 6:20 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
A scene of destruction; a city's downtown lays in smouldering ruin, skyscrapers crumbling, fires creating toxic smoke. A colossal mechanical robin stands in the middle of this mayhem. The machine leans forward with a hydraulic "VVVVRT" and exhaust shoots out of its neck with a "PSSHHT!". In the interior of this horrible mechanism we see a robin in the command centre, pausing and looking away from its module. Two more robins wait in pregnant pause, all wearing headsets. There is a poster hung that reads "WORK SAFELY" and features a bird wearing a hardhat. Another begins "you don't have to be CRAZY to work here but..." and is cut off by the frame of the image. We see the captain of the vessel, in a captain's hat, pause before commanding "Full power to thrusters". In the final panel, the mecharobin is blasting forward with immense jet engines that have emerged out of each side of the machine. Entire buildings are blown apart in its wake. The target of this war machine is a giant earth worm which is laying waste to the city in the foreground. It seems surprised at this maneuver of the robins.
August 27, 2025 at 3:10 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
I won an Eisner award!!! Life After Life took Best Webcomic! Incredibly surreal experience. I’m overjoyed
July 29, 2025 at 2:52 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
'Ew, It's Beautiful' is out now!
Disclaimer: this comic is an ad for the release of my book, 'Ew, It's Beautiful' Panel one: My new book comes out today! Image of the book cover and a cartoonish crow Panel two: Buy it in a store! The crow asks an employee, Ted, of a bookstore "Can you direct me to the classic bird literature section?" Panel three: Borrow it from a friend! Ted and crow are fighting over a copy of the book in question. Ted exclaims "Hey! This is my personal copy!" Signs of altercation lie around them, his wallet and keys have fallen out of his pocket, an overturned book lies open. Panel four: Take it out from the library! A librarian is holding Ted's library card and says to the crow, who is taking the book out on loan "Enjoy your summer reading, Ted!" A computer on the desk dings with "BOOK LEND SUCCESSFUL" printed on the screen.
July 16, 2025 at 8:11 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Improbably Compatible #oldknees
Two crows are flying in front of a gray-blue sky. One says to the other "Do you think we're best friends in other universes too?" The second panel splits into a three by three grid of different reactions of "Um"s and "Well"s from the second crow, in a multiverse sort of way. The third panel is further split again by three, so there are nine by nine squares of the same two crows flying together, the only distinction between the squares is a different sky colour. In the fourth panel, the square are again divided by three so there are now 27 by 27 filling the panel. We can see now that there is a greater pattern emerging from the colours of each square, a pixelated form is starting to emerge. In the fifth panel, the many many squares of different universes is reminiscent of a painting using pointillism, which each dot of colour represent one of many thousands of realities. We can see now very clearly that the pixelated forms are the two crows, flying in front of a gray-blue sky. We return to the visual resolution as we saw in the first panel, as if no time has passed at all. The second crow responds "It doesn't seem likely".
July 7, 2025 at 6:03 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (14/14)
Back in the nest, our protagonist is recounting her adventure to her siblings "... and then the giant bird made a great sound..." She throws her head back and yells "OINK!" then quickly says to herself "wait, that can't be right." Her siblings say "that's a pretty cool story sis" "yeah". And quietly confer with each other "Should we...?" "Yeah alright" and ask Fledgling "How would you like to join our SECRET CLUB?" "How do have a secret club? We share the same... everything!" she replies. "It's pretty new" they say "yeah, so don't tell anyone!" "Yeah don't tell mom!" Fledgling agrees "She'd be like: 'oh, I don't know about that...'" The siblings respond "Haha!" "That's really good!" All erupt into gleeful laughter as we leave the chicks in their nest in a happy ending, and why would anyone expect otherwise from your friendly bird comics creator, Mr. False Knees. The End.
July 5, 2025 at 4:53 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (13/14)
Mama bird appears behind Fledgling "There you are!" she says, "all your down fell off... are you ok?". The chick has a thousand-yard stare and asks "mom... am I... food?". Mama bird responds "Aw, you're not to me" and to distract, asks "do you want some bug mush?" Fledgling emphatically replies "YAH"
July 3, 2025 at 6:07 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Ecstatic to have my comics sharing the top two spots of 'Educational and Nonfiction Graphic Novels' with the BIBLE
July 1, 2025 at 5:34 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (12/14)
Fledgling looks on as its saviour walks away. We see the same white and black cat from earlier descending a tree trunk. The goose lets out a big 'HONK!' and the cat disappears in a cloud of smoke. Fledgling, bemused, says "Haha! Honk..." and then opens her eyes wide "Did I almost die"
July 1, 2025 at 3:29 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (11/14)
Through Fledgling's half-opened eyes, we see the side of the goose's head with tree leaves above. The little chick comes to and panics as she realizes she is in the beak of a goose. She goes limp, dripping wet, as the goose steps onto the grassy shore. The goose sets Fledgling down, who is frantically flailing her feet. She sits, observing her surroundings, soaked. She looks up... ...and sees a heroic sight, the saviour goose, backlit in sunlight, has taken on an angelic appearance.
June 29, 2025 at 5:13 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (10/14)
The Canada goose sips its head below the surface of the water to get a look at the helpless chick. It stretches its neck down and opens its beak wide. "No no no!" thinks Fledgling, "Come back, weird smooth birds!". The final panel we see the goose's butt shaking above the surface of the water.
June 27, 2025 at 4:04 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (9/14)
One of the two fish tugs at a distressed Fledgling's leg, while the other one shows surprise as if it sees something. The fish flee, leaving a perplexed chick. She looks on to see the webbed feet of a beast arriving on the surface of the water. A water-distorted Canada goose peers down at her.
June 25, 2025 at 4:20 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (8/14)
"Wah!" screams Fledgling, splashing on the surface of the pond. "What is this sensation?" she thinks to herself as she sinks lower. She slips under the surface, bubbles of air rising. She looks down to the dark bottom and sees two fish inspecting her. "Oh!," she thinks "more weird birds!"
June 23, 2025 at 3:42 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (7/14)
Mom bird pokes her head in to the nest to ask the two remaining chicks "Where's your sister??". One says "sister..." the other "uhh". "She said something about wanting to be interesting? so we would like her more?" "Which is weird because we love her even if she is super boring". Mom yells "where did she go?!" They reply "def heard her fall off the nest" "big time... I don't mind taking her cut of the warm bug mush" says one sibling, holding her beak up expectantly. "Hey! we agreed we would share!" says the other, off panel.
June 21, 2025 at 4:26 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (6/14)
"Ouch" says the black-and-white cat who had watched Fledgling fall from her nest. The cat looks up in a start to see a yellow bird staring angrily at her with an insect in its beak. "SCRAM!" screams the bird, food falling from its mouth. The cat is in total shock and jumps off of the branch with all of her long hair sticking straight on end. In a puff of hair, the cat is gone. "Huh!" ponders the yellow bird "I've never seen a cat's tail fall off before".
June 19, 2025 at 4:46 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (5/14)
Fledgling is falling through the air, thinking to herself "I'm... flying!" and then immediately SLAMS into a tree root, air being blown out her, SPRINGS into the air and SPLASHES into the water
June 17, 2025 at 4:17 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (4/14)
Fledgling stands at the top of her nest, looking up at a white and black, long-haired cat, who is looking back at her. "Do you know my mom?" she asks the cat. The cat reaches forward, narrowing its eyes and takes a swipe at the little bird. "Ha ha oops!" says Fledgling as she loses her balance, "wuh..." and falls off of the nest...
June 15, 2025 at 5:40 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (3/14)
Fledgling is emerging from the top of her nest, squinting, asking out loud to no one "where do the interesting birds hang out?". She then looks up, gasps and says "what an interesting bird!". In the final frame we see a nasty white and black long-haired cat perched on the branch above the nest looking down at her.
June 13, 2025 at 6:47 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
Fledgling (2/14)
Part two of Fledgling. The oriole chick siblings are discussing in the background "Did you know we're orange from all the fruit we eat?" "I know all the same facts that you do" Meanwhile, Fledgling thinks to herself "I need to meet other birds". She starts climbing up the wall of the nest with a 'hup!'. Her head pokes above the top of the nest and she is squinting hard. "There's absolutely no reason for it to be this bright".
June 11, 2025 at 5:11 PM
falseknees.bsky.social
In honour of my new baby and in honour of not supposed to be working, over the next few weeks I'm going to post this short story called 'Fledgling' I made for my patreon 2 years ago. This is part 1/14.
Sounds of laughter come from a oriole nest, hanging suspended from a branch. There are three chicks speaking to each other. "That is the PERFECT impression of mom!" says one chick to another. "Thanks, it's all about the anxiety" it replies. The third chick, let's call her Fledgling for the purposes of the alt text, says "Ok ok! Who am I? 'Hi kids! Here, have some warm bug mush'". One sibling responds "She just did mom" The other joins "Choose someone else". Fledgling looks lost and thinks to herself "but I don't know anyone else". To be continued! This is just part one of fourteen.
June 9, 2025 at 8:25 PM