Schneid!
@schneidremarks.bsky.social
Makes fun of Boomer TV on a podcast called @BreakingMayberry.bsky.social.
Talks about birds and newspaper comics. Just realizing how old I sound as I type this.
Talks about birds and newspaper comics. Just realizing how old I sound as I type this.
Reposted by Schneid!
STEVE HARVEY: Okay, Dylan family, going for the lead. Bobby, name a profession. Just a normal job that a regular person would have.
BOB DYLAN: mathematician
STEVE: Sure, I guess. Do you wanna maybe try another one, Bob?
BOB: carpenter
STEVE: Allright there we go SHOW ME CAR--
BOB: ...'s wife
BOB DYLAN: mathematician
STEVE: Sure, I guess. Do you wanna maybe try another one, Bob?
BOB: carpenter
STEVE: Allright there we go SHOW ME CAR--
BOB: ...'s wife
January 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
STEVE HARVEY: Okay, Dylan family, going for the lead. Bobby, name a profession. Just a normal job that a regular person would have.
BOB DYLAN: mathematician
STEVE: Sure, I guess. Do you wanna maybe try another one, Bob?
BOB: carpenter
STEVE: Allright there we go SHOW ME CAR--
BOB: ...'s wife
BOB DYLAN: mathematician
STEVE: Sure, I guess. Do you wanna maybe try another one, Bob?
BOB: carpenter
STEVE: Allright there we go SHOW ME CAR--
BOB: ...'s wife
Reposted by Schneid!
Ed Begley Jr should host the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
August 22, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Ed Begley Jr should host the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards
Reposted by Schneid!
Now I'm
HAM BLOODED
Check it and see
I got a pig's heart
Pumpin my arteries
HAM BLOODED
Check it and see
I got a pig's heart
Pumpin my arteries
September 25, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Now I'm
HAM BLOODED
Check it and see
I got a pig's heart
Pumpin my arteries
HAM BLOODED
Check it and see
I got a pig's heart
Pumpin my arteries
Reposted by Schneid!
A new episode! At last, we return to Mayberry for some light insurance fraud and also straight-up the strangest conclusion to a situation we have ever seen.
Give a listen and share why not:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1...
Give a listen and share why not:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1...
176: Wyatt Earp, Safe Sex Advocate
Podcast Episode · Breaking Mayberry · 11/12/2025 · 1h 21m
podcasts.apple.com
November 12, 2025 at 7:51 PM
A new episode! At last, we return to Mayberry for some light insurance fraud and also straight-up the strangest conclusion to a situation we have ever seen.
Give a listen and share why not:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1...
Give a listen and share why not:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1...
Reposted by Schneid!
women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.
Olivia Nuzzi's 'American Canto': Read the Exclusive Excerpt
She flamed out and she faded away. 'Vanity Fair'’s West Coast Editor returns to the written word to survey scorched earth.
www.vanityfair.com
November 17, 2025 at 3:46 PM
women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.
ESPN'S "XXX for XXX"
How long have people been giving sports jerseys to Popes?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
November 15, 2025 at 10:15 PM
ESPN'S "XXX for XXX"
In this movie, the main character says the line "I'm GOING after a guy that I NEED to get" with such a specific and bizarre cadence that I think of it at least once a month.
bsky.app/profile/dail...
bsky.app/profile/dail...
what’s your favorite line delivery
November 15, 2025 at 8:22 PM
In this movie, the main character says the line "I'm GOING after a guy that I NEED to get" with such a specific and bizarre cadence that I think of it at least once a month.
bsky.app/profile/dail...
bsky.app/profile/dail...
Reposted by Schneid!
(To the tune of American Tail) there are nooooo nerds in Aus-trail-ia
November 14, 2025 at 11:27 PM
(To the tune of American Tail) there are nooooo nerds in Aus-trail-ia
Reposted by Schneid!
pump-kin ROOOOOLLLL
taaake it hoooome
do not shooow
to my WIIIIFE
cream cheese icing
slices nicely
I ate a whoooole
pump-kin roll
taaake it hoooome
do not shooow
to my WIIIIFE
cream cheese icing
slices nicely
I ate a whoooole
pump-kin roll
December 27, 2024 at 3:37 AM
pump-kin ROOOOOLLLL
taaake it hoooome
do not shooow
to my WIIIIFE
cream cheese icing
slices nicely
I ate a whoooole
pump-kin roll
taaake it hoooome
do not shooow
to my WIIIIFE
cream cheese icing
slices nicely
I ate a whoooole
pump-kin roll
everybody get up it's time to EAT HAM
we got a whole ham roasting now
welcome to a PLATE HAM
here's your chance, loosen pants
eat a WHOLE HAM
allrite
we got a whole ham roasting now
welcome to a PLATE HAM
here's your chance, loosen pants
eat a WHOLE HAM
allrite
November 14, 2025 at 2:41 PM
everybody get up it's time to EAT HAM
we got a whole ham roasting now
welcome to a PLATE HAM
here's your chance, loosen pants
eat a WHOLE HAM
allrite
we got a whole ham roasting now
welcome to a PLATE HAM
here's your chance, loosen pants
eat a WHOLE HAM
allrite
I literally just got out of therapy and today my therapist and I talked about how hot Marisa Tomei is in My Cousin Vinny. Shit rules, I feel great right now.
November 11, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I literally just got out of therapy and today my therapist and I talked about how hot Marisa Tomei is in My Cousin Vinny. Shit rules, I feel great right now.
I just got done rewatching Shutter Island, a movie where at one point Ben Kingsley literally points to a whiteboard and explains to the audience what is going on. And I have still seen people act confused by it.
does anyone else remember the way inception was sold as this super confusing movie? and that newspapers were printing visual guides on what the plot was? and then you saw the movie and it was actually really straight forward?
what was that about
what was that about
November 11, 2025 at 2:38 AM
I just got done rewatching Shutter Island, a movie where at one point Ben Kingsley literally points to a whiteboard and explains to the audience what is going on. And I have still seen people act confused by it.
Reposted by Schneid!
Reposted by Schneid!
Maybe it’s like inside out Philadelphia
October 26, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Maybe it’s like inside out Philadelphia
Reposted by Schneid!
Every time I go to San Diego, I am struck simultaneously by how beautiful and temperate and perfect it is and how bad the vibes are. No other city has that combination of elements!!!!
October 26, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Every time I go to San Diego, I am struck simultaneously by how beautiful and temperate and perfect it is and how bad the vibes are. No other city has that combination of elements!!!!
I have questions about what this woman was TRYING to do. Why did she think Toy Story 3 was on YouTube? Why specifically Toy Story 3? That is a very strange first choice for a room of kindergarteners!
today's coworker had kindergarteners watch 15 minutes of kingdom hearts cutscenes bc she typed in "toy story 3 full movie". she cleaned the entire classroom with no reaction to sora being on the tv and only switched it once she was done. which was also right after the word 'xehanort' was said
October 15, 2025 at 12:26 PM
I have questions about what this woman was TRYING to do. Why did she think Toy Story 3 was on YouTube? Why specifically Toy Story 3? That is a very strange first choice for a room of kindergarteners!
Sophmore year of high school, chosen to play a music trivia game at an assembly as part of homecoming week.
Supposed to name song/artist/decade.
I'm in the lead. Last song is "American Pie". I say the decade is 70s, correctly. Emcee says it was the 50s, gives the game to the seniors.
Still mad.
Supposed to name song/artist/decade.
I'm in the lead. Last song is "American Pie". I say the decade is 70s, correctly. Emcee says it was the 50s, gives the game to the seniors.
Still mad.
What meaningless thing/experience are you still mad about? Like it should not matter at all, DOES not matter at all. But you’re still MAD.
And how long has it been?
I bought some bagels at Hy-Vee four years ago. So bad. Too big. Hard. Bland. WORTHLESS.
I’m still FURIOUS.
And how long has it been?
I bought some bagels at Hy-Vee four years ago. So bad. Too big. Hard. Bland. WORTHLESS.
I’m still FURIOUS.
October 15, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Sophmore year of high school, chosen to play a music trivia game at an assembly as part of homecoming week.
Supposed to name song/artist/decade.
I'm in the lead. Last song is "American Pie". I say the decade is 70s, correctly. Emcee says it was the 50s, gives the game to the seniors.
Still mad.
Supposed to name song/artist/decade.
I'm in the lead. Last song is "American Pie". I say the decade is 70s, correctly. Emcee says it was the 50s, gives the game to the seniors.
Still mad.
Reposted by Schneid!
The Jaguars are now good at football in a funny way instead of being bad at football in a funny way
October 7, 2025 at 3:11 AM
The Jaguars are now good at football in a funny way instead of being bad at football in a funny way
Bills Super Bowl, Josh Allen MVP.
October 4, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Bills Super Bowl, Josh Allen MVP.
Reposted by Schneid!
Is Brock Purdy AI? because it sure seems like Silicon Valley investors sunk hundreds of millions of dollars into him without actually looking into whether he is good or not
October 3, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Is Brock Purdy AI? because it sure seems like Silicon Valley investors sunk hundreds of millions of dollars into him without actually looking into whether he is good or not
Reposted by Schneid!
The administration's attempt to "de-woke" our national history sites means that the names of enslaved people engraved at The President's House in Philly are in danger of being erased so we put them in the credits for WHITE MEAT: APPETIZER (and the names of slaver presidents just for good measure).
October 1, 2025 at 11:35 PM
The administration's attempt to "de-woke" our national history sites means that the names of enslaved people engraved at The President's House in Philly are in danger of being erased so we put them in the credits for WHITE MEAT: APPETIZER (and the names of slaver presidents just for good measure).
The only way Jon has ever been presented as having a job, he was a cartoonist who worked from home, your theory is invalid.
September 30, 2025 at 12:33 PM
The only way Jon has ever been presented as having a job, he was a cartoonist who worked from home, your theory is invalid.
lol I am literally here right now. I came for FoW and Letters to Cleo. Left after Cake, because fuck Lenny Kravitz.
September 27, 2025 at 1:09 AM
lol I am literally here right now. I came for FoW and Letters to Cleo. Left after Cake, because fuck Lenny Kravitz.
Reposted by Schneid!
Got a new @breakingmayberry.bsky.social up and running about the School Shooting episode of GLEE and the Ryan Murphy approach to tragedy, which is basically "Fuck 'em."
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/g...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/g...
Gleekend 5: Singing
Podcast Episode · Breaking Mayberry · 09/23/2025 · 1h 16m
podcasts.apple.com
September 23, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Got a new @breakingmayberry.bsky.social up and running about the School Shooting episode of GLEE and the Ryan Murphy approach to tragedy, which is basically "Fuck 'em."
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/g...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/g...