Pinned
Erica
@scbchbum.bsky.social
· Nov 19
me: how old is your baby?
her: 46 weeks
me, struggling with the math: may i offer him a beer?
her: 46 weeks
me, struggling with the math: may i offer him a beer?
Reposted by Erica
would it kill dmv to get a fuckin ring light?
August 21, 2025 at 6:45 PM
would it kill dmv to get a fuckin ring light?
i travel with my own pillowcase. not high-maintenance- just pre-disappointed.
June 4, 2025 at 6:35 PM
i travel with my own pillowcase. not high-maintenance- just pre-disappointed.
Reposted by Erica
I’m not using my turn signal anymore. It’s none of your business where I’m going.
January 21, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I’m not using my turn signal anymore. It’s none of your business where I’m going.
i feel like they’re rolling their eyes, making the jerk off motion at me.
January 20, 2025 at 9:38 PM
i feel like they’re rolling their eyes, making the jerk off motion at me.
Reposted by Erica
thanks for sharing your moon with me on instagram. we don't have a moon where i live.
November 20, 2024 at 4:41 AM
thanks for sharing your moon with me on instagram. we don't have a moon where i live.
without looking crazy, how long can you wave your hands under a paper towel dispenser until you realize it's a manual one? (pls say 30 secs)
January 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM
without looking crazy, how long can you wave your hands under a paper towel dispenser until you realize it's a manual one? (pls say 30 secs)
Reposted by Erica
There should be a three day waiting period before you can buy an acoustic guitar
January 20, 2024 at 4:45 AM
There should be a three day waiting period before you can buy an acoustic guitar
“fuck you, elderly people!” -restaurants with QR codes for menus
January 11, 2025 at 10:14 PM
“fuck you, elderly people!” -restaurants with QR codes for menus
Reposted by Erica
“I’m going to kamikaze-attack you with my ass knife now.” -bees
January 3, 2025 at 4:24 AM
“I’m going to kamikaze-attack you with my ass knife now.” -bees
thank you for the thank you card. can we end this thank you cycle now?
January 7, 2025 at 3:07 AM
thank you for the thank you card. can we end this thank you cycle now?
my tax man asked me why my W-2s smell like french fries, in case you’re wondering how the new year’s going.
January 6, 2025 at 2:49 AM
my tax man asked me why my W-2s smell like french fries, in case you’re wondering how the new year’s going.
giving a $25 gift card for pottery barn is a good way of letting someone know you don’t want them having anything from pottery barn.
January 3, 2025 at 11:44 PM
giving a $25 gift card for pottery barn is a good way of letting someone know you don’t want them having anything from pottery barn.
january 1st: this is the year i turn it all around & get healthy!
january 2nd: ran out of sugar so i put lucky charms marshmallows in my coffee
january 2nd: ran out of sugar so i put lucky charms marshmallows in my coffee
January 2, 2025 at 4:26 PM
january 1st: this is the year i turn it all around & get healthy!
january 2nd: ran out of sugar so i put lucky charms marshmallows in my coffee
january 2nd: ran out of sugar so i put lucky charms marshmallows in my coffee
happy valentine’s day, everyone!
December 29, 2024 at 5:45 PM
happy valentine’s day, everyone!
sorry i didn't read the entire 3 paragraphs you posted on instagram below your picture, but i liked it anyway because i trust you.
December 29, 2024 at 1:24 AM
sorry i didn't read the entire 3 paragraphs you posted on instagram below your picture, but i liked it anyway because i trust you.
i always know when something i say is hilarious because my mom says “that’s not funny, erica.”
December 28, 2024 at 8:10 PM
i always know when something i say is hilarious because my mom says “that’s not funny, erica.”
Reposted by Erica
showering and then putting on my daytime pajamas
December 28, 2024 at 6:05 PM
showering and then putting on my daytime pajamas
it doesn’t matter how many stars a hotel has. you’ll always find one star hotel people in the pool.
December 28, 2024 at 6:11 PM
it doesn’t matter how many stars a hotel has. you’ll always find one star hotel people in the pool.
hiking is not a hobby. it’s what you do when you run out of gas.
December 27, 2024 at 6:26 PM
hiking is not a hobby. it’s what you do when you run out of gas.
Reposted by Erica
It’s hard to dunk on cyber truck owners any worse than what they regularly do to themselves
December 26, 2024 at 8:54 PM
It’s hard to dunk on cyber truck owners any worse than what they regularly do to themselves
this elderly couple doesn’t have gps, so i drew them a map on a cocktail napkin like a goddamn conquistador.
December 27, 2024 at 1:59 AM
this elderly couple doesn’t have gps, so i drew them a map on a cocktail napkin like a goddamn conquistador.
i sense my dad’s crushing disappointment that i don’t know wtf an orbital palm sander is, but i can sure think of 3 dick jokes about it.
December 26, 2024 at 3:42 AM
i sense my dad’s crushing disappointment that i don’t know wtf an orbital palm sander is, but i can sure think of 3 dick jokes about it.
i guess i’ve reached ‘hangover me feels exactly like regular me’ years old.
December 23, 2024 at 3:01 PM
i guess i’ve reached ‘hangover me feels exactly like regular me’ years old.
Reposted by Erica
When will they invent a drug you can take that fixes other people
December 22, 2024 at 7:35 PM
When will they invent a drug you can take that fixes other people