What’d she do? Return a Tesla?

I’ve had enough of woke ugly men in our games, so I’ve improved Geralt

This looks like the before and after of a procedure that makes you look more Irish

on “Wonderful Christmastime,” Sir Paul McCartney set out to make a timeless christmas classic and also to figure out what every button on his synthesizer did, and he absolutely succeeded at one of those things

I only got 'into' Masterchef this year (by get into, I mean I watch the first half with interest, then get bored when it gets too repetitive but stick it out due to a grim sense of responsibility), so I'm ideally placed to say who should replace the Buttery Biscuit Perv - give it to Si King.

I think about this tweet every time I post Nael’s poem

shoplifting should take the place fishing used to occupy in our culture. avis of us wearing wraparound oakleys holding up cool stuff we stole, novelty "gone shopliftin'" door signs, that kind of stuff

The amount of whipped cream on a slice of pie should render it invisible do not judge me

I'm on a C food diet. I only eat crab, crayfish, cod, caviar, that sort of thing.

Ugh. I hate myself. I hate life. Fuck this shit. Everything sucks. I hope I die. I hope somebody kills me.

[I take precisely one bite of food, after having been hungry and cranky all day]

Oh wow. Fantastic. I feel great. Now I have the energy to kill myself.