Noodles in bio
@noodlesinbio.bsky.social
I write all my own emails. Sorry, there are no noodles, I lied
Pinned
Noodles in bio
@noodlesinbio.bsky.social
· Jul 18
Them: Autistic people take things literally
Me (autistic): That's kleptomaniacs
Footnote: I stole this joke from Reddit
Me (autistic): That's kleptomaniacs
Footnote: I stole this joke from Reddit
Are we allowed to just make up German portmanteau words when we feel like it? If so I propose hoffnungfurcht (for hopeful dread). Incidentally German portmanteaus are called Kofferwörter which I like much better
December 5, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Are we allowed to just make up German portmanteau words when we feel like it? If so I propose hoffnungfurcht (for hopeful dread). Incidentally German portmanteaus are called Kofferwörter which I like much better
I'm gonna guess it's all the fast moving vehicles www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Why I'm terrified of motorways even though I've been driving for 20 years
A woman shares her experience of driving anxiety and a driving coach gives tips to combat this fear.
www.bbc.co.uk
December 5, 2025 at 9:49 AM
I'm gonna guess it's all the fast moving vehicles www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Gail's bakery gave my colleague a free loaf of bread because the internet was down the apocalypse has definitely started
December 5, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Gail's bakery gave my colleague a free loaf of bread because the internet was down the apocalypse has definitely started
Pun intended. Consequences?
December 4, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Pun intended. Consequences?
I'm livin la vida local
December 4, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I'm livin la vida local
Reposted by Noodles in bio
The French for "Laters, Potatoes" is "Au revoirs, Dauphinoise".
November 30, 2025 at 12:15 PM
The French for "Laters, Potatoes" is "Au revoirs, Dauphinoise".
Future nature documentaries will have to be narrated by AI David Attenborough or the genre will literally end with his death
November 24, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Future nature documentaries will have to be narrated by AI David Attenborough or the genre will literally end with his death
Severance would fix me (it works for the characters in the TV show Severance)
November 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Severance would fix me (it works for the characters in the TV show Severance)
It's true. The theramin works best in moderation
November 20, 2025 at 9:52 PM
It's true. The theramin works best in moderation
Cardi B is short for Cardiopulmonary Bypass
November 12, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Cardi B is short for Cardiopulmonary Bypass
I always underpromise and underdeliver slightly more
November 10, 2025 at 10:08 AM
I always underpromise and underdeliver slightly more
Reposted by Noodles in bio
A guy asked me if I wanted a pamphlet and I said brochure.
August 17, 2024 at 11:25 PM
A guy asked me if I wanted a pamphlet and I said brochure.
Reposted by Noodles in bio
I don't care what her lawyer says her dishwasher loading is unreasonable behaviour
October 17, 2025 at 10:41 AM
I don't care what her lawyer says her dishwasher loading is unreasonable behaviour
Reposted by Noodles in bio
Inventing GABA Gool™ its ham that reduces anxiety
October 20, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Inventing GABA Gool™ its ham that reduces anxiety
Reposted by Noodles in bio
you got and KEPT a nazi tattoo! disqualified. you bragged about sexual assault on tape! disqualified. you committed 34 felonies! disqualified. and so on
October 22, 2025 at 2:21 PM
you got and KEPT a nazi tattoo! disqualified. you bragged about sexual assault on tape! disqualified. you committed 34 felonies! disqualified. and so on
'Sad' corporate logos can fuck off, yeah that's right I'm cancelling Duolingo and idgaf I'll roast that owl with root vegetables and serve it with gravy
October 22, 2025 at 6:06 AM
'Sad' corporate logos can fuck off, yeah that's right I'm cancelling Duolingo and idgaf I'll roast that owl with root vegetables and serve it with gravy
Inventing GABA Gool™ its ham that reduces anxiety
October 20, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Inventing GABA Gool™ its ham that reduces anxiety
It's called foreplay because you have to shout fore when you miss the hole
October 19, 2025 at 11:24 AM
It's called foreplay because you have to shout fore when you miss the hole
Reposted by Noodles in bio
[returning from time travel]
“ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler”
-wtf??? you killed a baby?!?!
“uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust”
-the what?
“ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler”
-wtf??? you killed a baby?!?!
“uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust”
-the what?
October 19, 2025 at 4:36 AM
[returning from time travel]
“ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler”
-wtf??? you killed a baby?!?!
“uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust”
-the what?
“ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler”
-wtf??? you killed a baby?!?!
“uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust”
-the what?
Reposted by Noodles in bio
I need some help focusing my gestures because *gestures at everything*
August 24, 2025 at 7:39 AM
I need some help focusing my gestures because *gestures at everything*
Reposted by Noodles in bio
If I was an estate agent in Roku City I'd work the side of the river with the art deco cinema and 50s diner, not the one with the erupting volcano, sea monster/giant robot attacks and such like
October 1, 2025 at 8:27 PM
If I was an estate agent in Roku City I'd work the side of the river with the art deco cinema and 50s diner, not the one with the erupting volcano, sea monster/giant robot attacks and such like
Reposted by Noodles in bio
‘member when all the sexiest men were called metrosexuals
October 18, 2025 at 2:30 PM
‘member when all the sexiest men were called metrosexuals
I don't care what her lawyer says her dishwasher loading is unreasonable behaviour
October 17, 2025 at 10:41 AM
I don't care what her lawyer says her dishwasher loading is unreasonable behaviour
Sure if you ask a watchdog they're gonna say that
October 15, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Sure if you ask a watchdog they're gonna say that