Compiling a list of things that I’m going to make illegal when I inevitably am elected president this year:

•Being forced to work with tummy ache
•Being forced to work if it’s a little cold out
•Being forced to work if you’re a little sleepy
•Murder

Things I plan to legalize
•Freddy Fazbear Pizza

if you dress your kid as a cop for halloween im immediately judging you btw

we’re going to win

VHEMT
Apr 2001
Archived Web Page
#vhemt #2001

You never EVER need to prove your worth.
To ANYone!
Your kindness & compassion speaks for you!
Don't waste your energy fixing and fighting what you didn't break.
Forward & onward,
with peace & joy!
🤗😊
#WednesdayWisdom
#DailyPositivity
#BeAGoodHuman

Writing you a note that says "Do you like me? Y/N" and throwing it through your window wrapped round a brick to make sure you see it.

ya know if trump had actually taken over canada we could have gotten vladimir poutine

like if I had jedi force powers I would not be trustworthy with them. I would be instantly killing every single person who I think mildly deserves it.

Mayonnaise is just lotion for your sandwich

found this on a purse in the thrift store... Yoink

think of this tweet every single time I see a normal family with their goth teen

sloppy joe leftovers, AKA sloppy seconds

What a lovely shade of weird you’re wearing.

I think about this a lot as I'm panicking in my shower.

*materializes out of a murder of crows that slowly takes the form of a person*

sup fellas