Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender

Jennings: This salute trutherism is outrageous. 

Rampell: Do it right now on TV! If you think it’s a normal way to greet people, do it right now on TV. Why won’t you?!

silo is a funny show because if i lived in a dystopia consisting of 10,000 people living on 144 floors of a silo separated by stairs i wouldn't be interested in murder mystery or the world outside i'd be complaining oooauughhhh another day of stairs i hate the founders so much this is so many stairs

“you are what you eat” hell yes i would love to become a warm plate of spaghetti that sounds incredible

A cooking competition where contestants make whatever they want but my husband wanders around the kitchen and stands in front of the drawer they need

The trick to garlic bread is to make at least 5 times too much of it then eat it all hunched over in the corner of the basement like a rat

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Democrats’ key strategy for stopping Trump’s agenda:

Nightmare about Mike Birbiglia telling long winded shaggy dog story about how he hates my guts and wants to kill me.