Lance
@lancehunter.bsky.social
I’m just a monkey, staring at a monolith…asking it to love me.
If at any point between 1999 and 2005 you blurted out a ridiculous "WAZZZZZZUUUP!!!", you have forfeited your right to complain about kids shouting "6-7!!!" now.
October 26, 2025 at 4:04 PM
If at any point between 1999 and 2005 you blurted out a ridiculous "WAZZZZZZUUUP!!!", you have forfeited your right to complain about kids shouting "6-7!!!" now.
Reposted by Lance
I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnng john silver's gift card
October 26, 2025 at 1:18 AM
I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnng john silver's gift card
Reposted by Lance
Reposted by Lance
Propose to me with the Kate Spade Glitz Glizzy ring or not at all
October 18, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Propose to me with the Kate Spade Glitz Glizzy ring or not at all
Reposted by Lance
slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross
October 1, 2025 at 7:24 PM
slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross
Reposted by Lance
working up "democrats must embrace war mindset" rn, but one of my beliefs is this: dooming is itself a reaction to the fear of responsibility. if all is lost and nothing matters then you can't be criticized for your choices. it's not "cold eyed reason." it's an easy escape. comforting
Friendly reminder that I block people who post some variant of "it won't matter because nothing matters" on sight. Not even because they're wrong, but because I find this habit of saying the most tedious and predictable thing as if that makes you an edgy truth teller incredibly grating.
September 29, 2025 at 5:26 PM
working up "democrats must embrace war mindset" rn, but one of my beliefs is this: dooming is itself a reaction to the fear of responsibility. if all is lost and nothing matters then you can't be criticized for your choices. it's not "cold eyed reason." it's an easy escape. comforting
As a man in my mid-40s, my number one goal on social media is to never appear as a "mutual connection" for any fake/scam account sending out mass friend requests using a thirst trap profile picture.
September 23, 2025 at 2:18 PM
As a man in my mid-40s, my number one goal on social media is to never appear as a "mutual connection" for any fake/scam account sending out mass friend requests using a thirst trap profile picture.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a joke posted online and broadcast to the audiences most likely to angrily misinterpret it—forever.
September 22, 2025 at 7:13 PM
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a joke posted online and broadcast to the audiences most likely to angrily misinterpret it—forever.
Reposted by Lance
When you give me the repertory keys
September 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
When you give me the repertory keys
"I'll be the first to admit that, in 2011, I was too easily won over by the story continuity that LMFAO put into their music videos..." I say, unable to finish my sentence over the roar of mocking laughter from the crowd.
September 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
"I'll be the first to admit that, in 2011, I was too easily won over by the story continuity that LMFAO put into their music videos..." I say, unable to finish my sentence over the roar of mocking laughter from the crowd.
Yeah, this is a jam right here. youtu.be/lwxAovpSLh8
Sabrina Carpenter - House Tour (Official Lyric Video)
YouTube video by SabrinaCarpenterVEVO
youtu.be
September 5, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Yeah, this is a jam right here. youtu.be/lwxAovpSLh8
A decade from now, we’re gonna recognize that The Big Short broke a lot of people’s brains in relation to finance the same kinda way The West Wing broke people’s brains in relation to politics.
August 31, 2025 at 2:27 PM
A decade from now, we’re gonna recognize that The Big Short broke a lot of people’s brains in relation to finance the same kinda way The West Wing broke people’s brains in relation to politics.
Reposted by Lance
Just bought all four books in the “John Dies at the End” series, set to be delivered this Saturday. Gonna have myself an interesting Labor Day weekend.
August 29, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Just bought all four books in the “John Dies at the End” series, set to be delivered this Saturday. Gonna have myself an interesting Labor Day weekend.
This motherfucker right here. [complimentary]
some of you need to make like travis kelce and engage with a tailor swiftly
August 27, 2025 at 1:10 AM
This motherfucker right here. [complimentary]
Hrm… This is troubling. I had an important email in my Gmail account that seems to have completely vanished. It’s not in “All Mail”. It’s not in the Trash. It’s not in Spam. I didn’t permanently delete it. It’s just…not there anymore.
August 23, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Hrm… This is troubling. I had an important email in my Gmail account that seems to have completely vanished. It’s not in “All Mail”. It’s not in the Trash. It’s not in Spam. I didn’t permanently delete it. It’s just…not there anymore.
Reposted by Lance
A jira add on something that can easily hit you in the crotch or kick you in the ass. 10/10, no notes.
August 22, 2025 at 7:35 PM
A jira add on something that can easily hit you in the crotch or kick you in the ass. 10/10, no notes.
Reposted by Lance
This is the best breakdown I've ever seen of how comedy in my home town of Austin got ruined. youtu.be/ewvRS3NwIlQ
How Comedy Was Destroyed by an Anti-Reality Doomsday Cult
YouTube video by The Elephant Graveyard
youtu.be
August 19, 2025 at 10:11 PM
This is the best breakdown I've ever seen of how comedy in my home town of Austin got ruined. youtu.be/ewvRS3NwIlQ
Eagerly awaiting the video essays that will hit the internet once zoomers discover the whole Charlie Sheen "Tiger Blood" era.
August 19, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Eagerly awaiting the video essays that will hit the internet once zoomers discover the whole Charlie Sheen "Tiger Blood" era.
Reposted by Lance
Taylor Swift is a jam band.
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
August 14, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Taylor Swift is a jam band.
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
Reposted by Lance
Reposted by Lance
"If the computer seems smart, you're dumb."
August 11, 2025 at 11:11 PM
"If the computer seems smart, you're dumb."
Probably not a good sign about the state of the world that I’ve memorized the specific route I need to take to drive home when the cops have closed off the roads because someone in a mental health crisis is threatening to jump off the overpass.
August 9, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Probably not a good sign about the state of the world that I’ve memorized the specific route I need to take to drive home when the cops have closed off the roads because someone in a mental health crisis is threatening to jump off the overpass.
Reposted by Lance
imagine being the night watchman here
Venthaven, a ventriloquism museum in Kentucky.
August 1, 2025 at 2:32 PM
imagine being the night watchman here