Canuck Kewpiepants
@kewpiepants.bsky.social
An autistic and ADHD queer dual Brit Canadian writer with an autoimmune disease, a split brain, and a cheese fetish. I don’t do hugs. Unless you have cheese. Then I’ll consider it. Is it good cheese?
Dear Celebrities,
JK Rowling has explicitly stated that the money she is making from Harry Potter projects is going directly into anti-trans activities. So no, no you are not a big supporter of trans people if your celebrity is being paid for to raise funds for that rancid TERF to ruin trans lives.
JK Rowling has explicitly stated that the money she is making from Harry Potter projects is going directly into anti-trans activities. So no, no you are not a big supporter of trans people if your celebrity is being paid for to raise funds for that rancid TERF to ruin trans lives.
August 11, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Dear Celebrities,
JK Rowling has explicitly stated that the money she is making from Harry Potter projects is going directly into anti-trans activities. So no, no you are not a big supporter of trans people if your celebrity is being paid for to raise funds for that rancid TERF to ruin trans lives.
JK Rowling has explicitly stated that the money she is making from Harry Potter projects is going directly into anti-trans activities. So no, no you are not a big supporter of trans people if your celebrity is being paid for to raise funds for that rancid TERF to ruin trans lives.
Dear Lucy,
You are such a bad movie, and so ridiculous, and yet I love you. I love you BECAUSE you’re so bad, and so ridiculous.
Thankfully my love extends only to movies like you, and not to people like you. But there are far too many people like you. I want bad and ridiculous in movie form only.
You are such a bad movie, and so ridiculous, and yet I love you. I love you BECAUSE you’re so bad, and so ridiculous.
Thankfully my love extends only to movies like you, and not to people like you. But there are far too many people like you. I want bad and ridiculous in movie form only.
May 19, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Dear Lucy,
You are such a bad movie, and so ridiculous, and yet I love you. I love you BECAUSE you’re so bad, and so ridiculous.
Thankfully my love extends only to movies like you, and not to people like you. But there are far too many people like you. I want bad and ridiculous in movie form only.
You are such a bad movie, and so ridiculous, and yet I love you. I love you BECAUSE you’re so bad, and so ridiculous.
Thankfully my love extends only to movies like you, and not to people like you. But there are far too many people like you. I want bad and ridiculous in movie form only.
Can we have a referendum to separate from Danielle Smith please?
May 5, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Can we have a referendum to separate from Danielle Smith please?
I Ran for the NDP and Lost. We Need to Change via @thetyee.ca thetyee.ca/Analysis/202...
I Ran for the NDP and Lost. We Need to Change | The Tyee
After a disastrous election, progressives must reinvent the party. Here are six ideas.
thetyee.ca
May 2, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I Ran for the NDP and Lost. We Need to Change via @thetyee.ca thetyee.ca/Analysis/202...
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
Good news, no one needs to list any of RFK Jr's ridiculous claims or enumerate all the ways he is wrong. The autistics over at Wikipedia have covered it in exquisite yet irreproachable detail. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_....
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
April 24, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Good news, no one needs to list any of RFK Jr's ridiculous claims or enumerate all the ways he is wrong. The autistics over at Wikipedia have covered it in exquisite yet irreproachable detail. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_....
This post is not about trains.
April 23, 2025 at 7:49 PM
This post is not about trains.
The addition of Caroline Waldegrave as a new judge for the Great British Bake-off finally answers that age-old question: “What if beige became a person?”
April 9, 2025 at 6:50 PM
The addition of Caroline Waldegrave as a new judge for the Great British Bake-off finally answers that age-old question: “What if beige became a person?”
From the April 5 Toronto Star.
Best. Headline. Ever.
(Link in comments)
Best. Headline. Ever.
(Link in comments)
April 8, 2025 at 5:08 PM
From the April 5 Toronto Star.
Best. Headline. Ever.
(Link in comments)
Best. Headline. Ever.
(Link in comments)
Dear Canadians,
This war by the United States against Canada is not going to be fought with soldiers. It will be fought with propaganda. The primary targets will be young people with little hope for the future, who will be hit even harder by American tariffs. Talk to them. Protect them.
This war by the United States against Canada is not going to be fought with soldiers. It will be fought with propaganda. The primary targets will be young people with little hope for the future, who will be hit even harder by American tariffs. Talk to them. Protect them.
April 5, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Dear Canadians,
This war by the United States against Canada is not going to be fought with soldiers. It will be fought with propaganda. The primary targets will be young people with little hope for the future, who will be hit even harder by American tariffs. Talk to them. Protect them.
This war by the United States against Canada is not going to be fought with soldiers. It will be fought with propaganda. The primary targets will be young people with little hope for the future, who will be hit even harder by American tariffs. Talk to them. Protect them.
Yesterday, on Liberation Day, America’s Great Overripe Cantaloupe Leader imposed a 10% tariff on an Antarctic island chain populated entirely by penguins.
No, I am no joking. Yes, it’s real.
1/2
No, I am no joking. Yes, it’s real.
1/2
April 3, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Yesterday, on Liberation Day, America’s Great Overripe Cantaloupe Leader imposed a 10% tariff on an Antarctic island chain populated entirely by penguins.
No, I am no joking. Yes, it’s real.
1/2
No, I am no joking. Yes, it’s real.
1/2
Am I the only one extremely anxious that the Overripe Canteloupe is calling today Liberation Day, a day when all he was apparently going to do was announce the tariffs we all knew were coming?
I’m sure it’s deliberate, a tacit threat to the countries in target of what’s potentially to come.
I’m sure it’s deliberate, a tacit threat to the countries in target of what’s potentially to come.
April 2, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Am I the only one extremely anxious that the Overripe Canteloupe is calling today Liberation Day, a day when all he was apparently going to do was announce the tariffs we all knew were coming?
I’m sure it’s deliberate, a tacit threat to the countries in target of what’s potentially to come.
I’m sure it’s deliberate, a tacit threat to the countries in target of what’s potentially to come.
Dear Americans,
The truth about the tariffs. This has nothing to do with the United States “punishing” Canada for non-existent crimes against America. This is about taking our country and our resources in the most underhanded way possible. It’s attempted theft.
The truth about the tariffs. This has nothing to do with the United States “punishing” Canada for non-existent crimes against America. This is about taking our country and our resources in the most underhanded way possible. It’s attempted theft.
March 5, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Dear Americans,
The truth about the tariffs. This has nothing to do with the United States “punishing” Canada for non-existent crimes against America. This is about taking our country and our resources in the most underhanded way possible. It’s attempted theft.
The truth about the tariffs. This has nothing to do with the United States “punishing” Canada for non-existent crimes against America. This is about taking our country and our resources in the most underhanded way possible. It’s attempted theft.
Dear Me,
You have microscopic colitis.
You also have a wife who cooks things.
Things like, oh, delicious ham and lentil soup.
No matter how much you love your wife, or her cooking, this does not give her magical powers.
Those lentils are gonna wreck you.
Yours Excruciatingly,
Your Colon
You have microscopic colitis.
You also have a wife who cooks things.
Things like, oh, delicious ham and lentil soup.
No matter how much you love your wife, or her cooking, this does not give her magical powers.
Those lentils are gonna wreck you.
Yours Excruciatingly,
Your Colon
February 19, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Dear Me,
You have microscopic colitis.
You also have a wife who cooks things.
Things like, oh, delicious ham and lentil soup.
No matter how much you love your wife, or her cooking, this does not give her magical powers.
Those lentils are gonna wreck you.
Yours Excruciatingly,
Your Colon
You have microscopic colitis.
You also have a wife who cooks things.
Things like, oh, delicious ham and lentil soup.
No matter how much you love your wife, or her cooking, this does not give her magical powers.
Those lentils are gonna wreck you.
Yours Excruciatingly,
Your Colon
Dear Brain,
32 years ago, you made me a new person — or the split brain surgery to remove a tumour did. Whatever. You helped give me a cool style few have emulated. To be fair, stapling one’s head 60 times for a look could be considered a bit extreme.
Thanks for the memor—oh wait.
32 years ago, you made me a new person — or the split brain surgery to remove a tumour did. Whatever. You helped give me a cool style few have emulated. To be fair, stapling one’s head 60 times for a look could be considered a bit extreme.
Thanks for the memor—oh wait.
February 11, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Dear Brain,
32 years ago, you made me a new person — or the split brain surgery to remove a tumour did. Whatever. You helped give me a cool style few have emulated. To be fair, stapling one’s head 60 times for a look could be considered a bit extreme.
Thanks for the memor—oh wait.
32 years ago, you made me a new person — or the split brain surgery to remove a tumour did. Whatever. You helped give me a cool style few have emulated. To be fair, stapling one’s head 60 times for a look could be considered a bit extreme.
Thanks for the memor—oh wait.
I’m on tonight
And my hips don’t like
boy I need a replacement now
- Shakira, if she had become famous at 55
And my hips don’t like
boy I need a replacement now
- Shakira, if she had become famous at 55
February 10, 2025 at 6:20 AM
I’m on tonight
And my hips don’t like
boy I need a replacement now
- Shakira, if she had become famous at 55
And my hips don’t like
boy I need a replacement now
- Shakira, if she had become famous at 55
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
If you decide to take a break from social media, don't announce it. Instead, make your last post something
interesting like, "Guys, there's the cutest family of black bears over there. I'm gonna go grab a photo. brb."
interesting like, "Guys, there's the cutest family of black bears over there. I'm gonna go grab a photo. brb."
February 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
If you decide to take a break from social media, don't announce it. Instead, make your last post something
interesting like, "Guys, there's the cutest family of black bears over there. I'm gonna go grab a photo. brb."
interesting like, "Guys, there's the cutest family of black bears over there. I'm gonna go grab a photo. brb."
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
February 8, 2025 at 4:07 AM
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
Horrifying if literal: blended family.
February 8, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Horrifying if literal: blended family.
Dear World,
I need this book to be published.
Sincerely,
My Lymphocytic Colitis
I need this book to be published.
Sincerely,
My Lymphocytic Colitis
"how will this effect my butthole"
-a book about food
-a book about food
February 9, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Dear World,
I need this book to be published.
Sincerely,
My Lymphocytic Colitis
I need this book to be published.
Sincerely,
My Lymphocytic Colitis
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
I’m a non-binary Autistic classically trained chef and author! I wrote a food aversion acceptance cookbook and guide titled COLOR TASTE TEXTURE! It’s all about learning how to make food work to your needs, for all ages and all levels of cooking ability (even those who’ve never cooked before).
Color Taste Texture by Matthew Broberg-Moffitt: 9780593538593 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books
An accessible family cookbook that offers solutions rather than tricks to empower the food-averse, autistic, and picky eater, with 46 recipes. This much-needed cookbook combines tips and techniques.....
www.penguinrandomhouse.com
January 31, 2025 at 9:36 PM
I’m a non-binary Autistic classically trained chef and author! I wrote a food aversion acceptance cookbook and guide titled COLOR TASTE TEXTURE! It’s all about learning how to make food work to your needs, for all ages and all levels of cooking ability (even those who’ve never cooked before).
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
*Seizes the day
*Gets pepper sprayed by the day
*Gets pepper sprayed by the day
February 5, 2025 at 4:07 PM
*Seizes the day
*Gets pepper sprayed by the day
*Gets pepper sprayed by the day
Dear Canadians,
Pay attention. Do something.
Pay attention. Do something.
The Problem with ‘Populist’ Politicians | The Tyee
They claim to represent the will of the people as they tear down our foundations of freedom and democracy.
thetyee.ca
February 6, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Dear Canadians,
Pay attention. Do something.
Pay attention. Do something.
Reposted by Canuck Kewpiepants
Metamucil, but for emotional regulation.
February 4, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Metamucil, but for emotional regulation.