🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴
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kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com
🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴
@kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com
Like most, I'm guessing, I'm here to escape the toxicity of X, while attempting to understand WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. Trying to keep my head above water. Alum @KamalaHarris. Opinions R my own.
💥Substack: https://kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com 💥
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Raise your hand if you need a little pause from life and its stress. A little wine, 5 million dollars, a flat stomach and your own island, perhaps? I can't provide you with any of that, but how about a laugh or two? If you enjoy my humor, click here👇 and subscribe.😉
KathrynKatieKWrites.substack.com
With regards to today's pronouncement of 6 more weeks of winter:
February 3, 2026 at 12:05 AM
I had to go on two diets because one wasn't giving me enough food.
February 2, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Did you ever notice there are no recipes for leftover chocolate?
February 2, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Today, I'm thankful for loud music, strong coffee and a good hair day.

['cause sometimes, the little things just have to be enough]
February 1, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Shout-out to my bud @ourshallowstate.bsky.social te.bsky.social, (we were mutuals over on Twitter), who has the best insight and always makes sense of things. Hopefully, you all can read this okay. (Shallow, I don't see this post on BS) Highly recommend you give him a follow!
February 1, 2026 at 10:02 PM
When someone tells you their hands are cold, there's a 94% chance they're going to put their hands on you to prove it.
January 26, 2026 at 10:37 PM
No matter how cold it is, someone is still sleeping with the fan on.

[It's me. Fan on. Always. If the air isn't moving, I'll die.]
January 26, 2026 at 10:33 PM
I yell "STAY" at objects that keep falling over.
January 25, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Everyone thinks I'm overly dramatic when I'm stressed.

When a octopus is stressed, it eats itself.

Now, *that's* overly dramatic.
January 24, 2026 at 4:40 PM
My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.
January 24, 2026 at 3:16 AM
30 days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have 31, except for January, which has
about 973. [sigh]
January 23, 2026 at 11:23 PM
She believed she could do it, and she almost did, but then
someone texted her repeatedly and she lost track of
what she was doing.

~ a tale of woe, as old as... well... 2006
January 22, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Me, driving at 3am: ooh, so fun... so cool... adventure.
Me, seeing another car at 3am: what the hell are you up to, you shady bastard
January 20, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Not to flex or anything, but I used to be a line leader in elementary. [sniffs]
January 20, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Sometimes when my phone randomly asks for my passcode, I'll punch the numbers in extra hard, just so it knows I'm annoyed.
January 19, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Sometimes, instead of cleaning my house, I watch an episode of Hoarders and then I think my house doesn't look that bad.
January 19, 2026 at 1:07 AM
To anyone who's waiting for a response from me:

Sorry I'm late. I've lost my grasp on the flow of time and the days have all blended together into a singular, continuous, numbing blur.

But, how's your day going? You good?
January 18, 2026 at 9:35 PM
I just want to live in a world where I don't wind up saying, "What the hell is wrong with people?" every time I open up my feed.
January 18, 2026 at 9:29 PM
December 24, 2025 at 9:35 PM
December 24, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Christmas Eve is less about the calendar and more about the company.
The people who make you laugh, let you exhale, and send you into the next day a little steadier than before.
I hope you're surrounded by yours tonight.
Wishing to you all the love, joy and happiness your hearts can hold~
a cartoon of a boy kneeling next to a broken christmas tree
ALT: a cartoon of a boy kneeling next to a broken christmas tree
media.tenor.com
December 24, 2025 at 9:29 PM
December 19, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cookies and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?

Me: 10.
December 5, 2025 at 9:43 PM
The way I act when I have to line my wheel up at the car wash, you'd think I was trying to land a 747 on a tightrope.
December 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
I refuse to be controlled by a calendar.

Happy Election Day 2026, everyone.
December 4, 2025 at 11:18 PM