Jimmy Ryals
@jpryals.bsky.social
Write, editor, crafter of fine puns and sandwich bard.
Read some of my stuff!
https://www.theassemblync.com/author/jimmy-ryals/
https://www.jimmyryalswrites.com/
https://slate.com/author/jimmy-ryals
Read some of my stuff!
https://www.theassemblync.com/author/jimmy-ryals/
https://www.jimmyryalswrites.com/
https://slate.com/author/jimmy-ryals
McMaggot salad
McDonald's Shrimp Salad (1985-1986): A garden salad topped hardboiled eggs and mini shrimp cocktail. This offering made national headlines when improperly stored shrimp led to a typhoid outbreak in Maryland. This salad has popped back up in some European markets in recent years
November 24, 2025 at 2:09 AM
McMaggot salad
There's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, Charlie Brown. But he's almost a guy you can't hit.
I’m not the guy you kill, Charlie Brown. I’m the guy you buy!
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 2:06 AM
There's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, Charlie Brown. But he's almost a guy you can't hit.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
Really important to stress that the Crown Jewels of the US higher education system were never the Ivies or elite SLACs (other countries have equivalents of these) but the well-funded, large, cheap, and excellently staffed public state university systems bringing high quality education to the masses.
One of the bragging rights that the US ed system had in the 20th century is that we didn't have education tracks. Essentially, any kid could go to a CC or state school & major in whatever they wanted to (obviously an oversimplification). I fear this aspect of the American dream is dying.
November 23, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Really important to stress that the Crown Jewels of the US higher education system were never the Ivies or elite SLACs (other countries have equivalents of these) but the well-funded, large, cheap, and excellently staffed public state university systems bringing high quality education to the masses.
How did he not use Zohran Mam-COMMIE.
Trump says he’s meeting with “communist” Mamdani at the White House on Friday
November 20, 2025 at 2:37 AM
How did he not use Zohran Mam-COMMIE.
Courage works.
Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.
November 5, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Courage works.
Surely we can all agree on the best album of 1989.
October 30, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Surely we can all agree on the best album of 1989.
This is absolutely how health care for trans people should be covered.
Health and science reporters should lead the coverage of all these health-related conspiracy theories & newsroom leaders should keep their both-sides political reporters out of their way.
September 23, 2025 at 7:41 PM
This is absolutely how health care for trans people should be covered.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
False. I recently checked the ADL data, which has some issues because they include non-ideological murders. But even with those removed, over the past decade right-wing extremists would account for about half of the murders, with about 35% by Islamist extremists, and 8% by left-wing extremists.
Vance: "While our side of the aisle certainly has its crazies, it is a statistical fact that most of the lunatics in American politics today are proud members of the far-Left."
September 15, 2025 at 7:49 PM
False. I recently checked the ADL data, which has some issues because they include non-ideological murders. But even with those removed, over the past decade right-wing extremists would account for about half of the murders, with about 35% by Islamist extremists, and 8% by left-wing extremists.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
the way the right keeps obsessively trying to blame this shooting on trans people is deeply sick and incredibly dangerous, and powerful people and institutions turning a blind eye to it are complicit
just leave them alone
just leave them alone
September 14, 2025 at 3:49 PM
the way the right keeps obsessively trying to blame this shooting on trans people is deeply sick and incredibly dangerous, and powerful people and institutions turning a blind eye to it are complicit
just leave them alone
just leave them alone
I’m late to season 4 of “The Bear” and just want to appreciate Robert Townsend for a minute. He exudes pure joy, even when he’s in a hospital bed. And this show (great as it is) needs that. Glad he’s still doing it, 40 years after making some
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
September 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
I’m late to season 4 of “The Bear” and just want to appreciate Robert Townsend for a minute. He exudes pure joy, even when he’s in a hospital bed. And this show (great as it is) needs that. Glad he’s still doing it, 40 years after making some
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
September 2, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
well and truly one of the best. what a loss, man.
September 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
well and truly one of the best. what a loss, man.
When I was a kid (5ish), I stole a pack of Thriller baseball cards from a drug store. Made the mistake of bragging to my sister, who told my mom, who took me back to the store to confess (and browbeat the manager into giving me a real talking to).
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
23. What is your fondest memory revolving around Michael Jackson?
August 29, 2025 at 1:17 PM
When I was a kid (5ish), I stole a pack of Thriller baseball cards from a drug store. Made the mistake of bragging to my sister, who told my mom, who took me back to the store to confess (and browbeat the manager into giving me a real talking to).
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Human Nature is the correct answer!
human nature!
18. Tell me your favorite song from this album.
August 29, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Human Nature is the correct answer!
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
much easier to understand the sheer bloody intensity of the civil war when you have a good grasp on just how terrible slavery was.
"How bad slavery was" is worse. Much worse. Much worse than you think, much worse than you're taught, much worse than museums depict. Worse.
August 19, 2025 at 11:30 PM
much easier to understand the sheer bloody intensity of the civil war when you have a good grasp on just how terrible slavery was.
Another near-miss for people seeking Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right.
NEW YORK (AP) — Television's MSNBC network is changing its name to My Source News Opinion World, or MS NOW for short.
August 18, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Another near-miss for people seeking Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right.
This is simultaneously one of the best things I’ve read about both Hurricane Helene and our toxic information environment. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/11/m...
I Never Understood Our Data-Saturated Life Until a Hurricane Shut It Down
www.nytimes.com
August 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
This is simultaneously one of the best things I’ve read about both Hurricane Helene and our toxic information environment. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/11/m...
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
Extraordinary piece on what happened when small, isolated towns across North Carolina had to recreate networks of communication - and networks of trust - without cell phones internet, or electricity in the wake of Helene.
Gift link:
Gift link:
I Never Understood Our Data-Saturated Life Until a Hurricane Shut It Down
www.nytimes.com
August 17, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Extraordinary piece on what happened when small, isolated towns across North Carolina had to recreate networks of communication - and networks of trust - without cell phones internet, or electricity in the wake of Helene.
Gift link:
Gift link:
No one has ever had bigger “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” energy than the questioner in this Loomer deposition.
August 13, 2025 at 1:56 AM
No one has ever had bigger “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” energy than the questioner in this Loomer deposition.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
i believe that short form video is maybe one of the worst things people have ever come up with and it should be regulated at least as much as cigarettes
August 10, 2025 at 9:35 PM
i believe that short form video is maybe one of the worst things people have ever come up with and it should be regulated at least as much as cigarettes
The ACC Tournament.
Also: Beethoven.
Also: Beethoven.
July 12, 2025 at 2:19 AM
The ACC Tournament.
Also: Beethoven.
Also: Beethoven.
I understand that he took down Al Capone and Big Boy Caprice immediately after the reception.
apparently at the wedding reception they had 2000 plastic meatballs, but for $200 i probably could have gotten them 50 stanzo brand fedoras. they’re nice.
July 10, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I understand that he took down Al Capone and Big Boy Caprice immediately after the reception.
For nearly eight months after Hurricane Helene, the future of the railway that opened western NC was up in the air. So were stretches of the track itself. Last month, owner Norfolk Southern announced it would rebuild.
Words by me, pics by Jesse Barber for
@theassemblync.bsky.social
Words by me, pics by Jesse Barber for
@theassemblync.bsky.social
Hurricane Helene left Western North Carolina’s railways in disarray, causing $345 million in damage and halting all rail traffic west of Hickory. But by late March, repairs were either underway or complete on most of the region’s damaged tracks and bridges.
www.theassemblync.com/place/trains...
www.theassemblync.com/place/trains...
Back on Track
Hurricane Helene wiped out several major rail lines in Western N.C. Now most trains are back up and running. We looked at the rebuilding.
www.theassemblync.com
June 20, 2025 at 4:27 PM
For nearly eight months after Hurricane Helene, the future of the railway that opened western NC was up in the air. So were stretches of the track itself. Last month, owner Norfolk Southern announced it would rebuild.
Words by me, pics by Jesse Barber for
@theassemblync.bsky.social
Words by me, pics by Jesse Barber for
@theassemblync.bsky.social
I believe it's Roberts Downey Jr.
June 12, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I believe it's Roberts Downey Jr.