Tim S.
@jorgath.bsky.social
Reposted by Tim S.
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
WASHINGTON—Warning that even the slightest dent, knick, or scratch would henceforth be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Tuesday that Raymond Pratt, a 5...
theonion.com
April 8, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
Reposted by Tim S.
Fearless Man Bravely Ventures Out Into U.S. Economy
theonion.com/fearles...
theonion.com/fearles...
April 7, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Fearless Man Bravely Ventures Out Into U.S. Economy
theonion.com/fearles...
theonion.com/fearles...
Reposted by Tim S.
Reposted by Tim S.
JD Vance with everyone who likes him.
March 29, 2025 at 11:53 PM
JD Vance with everyone who likes him.
Reposted by Tim S.
Florida Passes Strict Ban On Being Unarmed
theonion.com/florida...
theonion.com/florida...
March 30, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Florida Passes Strict Ban On Being Unarmed
theonion.com/florida...
theonion.com/florida...
Reposted by Tim S.
sometimes I think no one could possibly hate elon musk more than I do but then I remember he has kids
March 24, 2025 at 7:44 PM
sometimes I think no one could possibly hate elon musk more than I do but then I remember he has kids
Reposted by Tim S.
This is the message federal employees receive after trying to send in their mandatory “5 bullets” email about what they did this week:
March 24, 2025 at 8:12 PM
This is the message federal employees receive after trying to send in their mandatory “5 bullets” email about what they did this week:
Reposted by Tim S.
“Parents across the country were shamed by angry liberals into giving their kids ‘woke’ names like Tyler and Justin when they should have been naming them Stonewall and Forrest,” said Trump
theonion.com/trump-o...
theonion.com/trump-o...
Trump Orders All Children Born Under Biden To Be Renamed After Confederate Generals
WASHINGTON—In an effort to restore what he said were traditional American values that the previous administration had attempted to destroy, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday decreeing that all children born while President Joe Biden was in office would be renamed after Confederate generals. “Parents across the country were shamed by angry liberals […]
theonion.com
March 25, 2025 at 12:30 AM
“Parents across the country were shamed by angry liberals into giving their kids ‘woke’ names like Tyler and Justin when they should have been naming them Stonewall and Forrest,” said Trump
theonion.com/trump-o...
theonion.com/trump-o...
Reposted by Tim S.
The internet has been won.
"Yes, there’s danger in opening our gates to this statue. But there’s also danger in keeping it out… the danger of eroding the sanctity of the gift-giving process."
Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
“In the wake of votes by a handful of key Democrats, led by Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, to pass a GOP-led continuing resolution funding f...
www.mcsweeneys.net
March 22, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The internet has been won.
Reposted by Tim S.
Reposted by Tim S.
"if we can't train AI on copyrighted works, then it'll never get to the point where we can make tons of money off of it" ok? how is that anyone else's problem? If I can't rob a bank, then I won't have $20 million tomorrow. Should I be allowed to rob a bank then?
March 21, 2025 at 11:48 PM
"if we can't train AI on copyrighted works, then it'll never get to the point where we can make tons of money off of it" ok? how is that anyone else's problem? If I can't rob a bank, then I won't have $20 million tomorrow. Should I be allowed to rob a bank then?
Reposted by Tim S.
Tonight an unbelievable **34,000 people** gathered for our Denver rally to take on billionaires and win our country back.
This was the largest political gathering in Denver since Obama in 2008.
Also bigger than the 2024 DNC.
And the largest ever rally in Bernie’s career (and obviously, mine too).
This was the largest political gathering in Denver since Obama in 2008.
Also bigger than the 2024 DNC.
And the largest ever rally in Bernie’s career (and obviously, mine too).
March 22, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Tonight an unbelievable **34,000 people** gathered for our Denver rally to take on billionaires and win our country back.
This was the largest political gathering in Denver since Obama in 2008.
Also bigger than the 2024 DNC.
And the largest ever rally in Bernie’s career (and obviously, mine too).
This was the largest political gathering in Denver since Obama in 2008.
Also bigger than the 2024 DNC.
And the largest ever rally in Bernie’s career (and obviously, mine too).
Reposted by Tim S.
He’s deadly serious about territorial expansion and does not intend for there to be real elections in the future.
Throughout the *entire* Trump era, the people who were called unserious for overreacting or catastrophizing have been correct and the calm, smug centrists have been catastrophically wrong (and have refused to learn). Trump has already tried to overturn elections and surely will again.
👇🎯 Once again, people think you’re hysterically overreacting when you say that the 2026/28 elections are not going to be free, fair, & competitive, but the events of the last two months are observationally equivalent with the empirical predictions of that hypothesis.
March 20, 2025 at 12:36 AM
He’s deadly serious about territorial expansion and does not intend for there to be real elections in the future.
Reposted by Tim S.
I feel like we need to form a League of Relatively Normal People, and our agenda should be things like:
--Canada's cool, leave them be
--Lot of smart people at universities, that's a plus
--We're scared of getting cancer, so let's research it
--Fewer floods and wildfires would be nice
--Canada's cool, leave them be
--Lot of smart people at universities, that's a plus
--We're scared of getting cancer, so let's research it
--Fewer floods and wildfires would be nice
March 14, 2025 at 5:23 PM
I feel like we need to form a League of Relatively Normal People, and our agenda should be things like:
--Canada's cool, leave them be
--Lot of smart people at universities, that's a plus
--We're scared of getting cancer, so let's research it
--Fewer floods and wildfires would be nice
--Canada's cool, leave them be
--Lot of smart people at universities, that's a plus
--We're scared of getting cancer, so let's research it
--Fewer floods and wildfires would be nice
Reposted by Tim S.
New: we've obtained a leaked list of the more than 200 sites, services, apps an ICE surveillance contractor monitors. Bluesky, OnlyFans, many more. Used to track targets. Highly relevant with the arrest of Mahmoud Khalil by ICE. We've published the full list here: www.404media.co/the-200-site...
The 200+ Sites an ICE Surveillance Contractor is Monitoring
404 Media has obtained the list of sites and services that ICE contractor ShadowDragon pulls data from. ShadowDragon sources data from all over the web and lets government analysts easily search it an...
www.404media.co
March 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM
New: we've obtained a leaked list of the more than 200 sites, services, apps an ICE surveillance contractor monitors. Bluesky, OnlyFans, many more. Used to track targets. Highly relevant with the arrest of Mahmoud Khalil by ICE. We've published the full list here: www.404media.co/the-200-site...
Reposted by Tim S.
we're in legit first they came for territory and a lot of people have been failing at this test they cite all the time
if you find yourself reluctant to support the guy at Columbia because you find some of the politics he espoused distasteful or even abhorrent, you should know that this is exactly the reaction that they hoped for in choosing him as a target for unlawful detention based on political speech.
March 10, 2025 at 7:50 PM
we're in legit first they came for territory and a lot of people have been failing at this test they cite all the time
Reposted by Tim S.
the feminine urge to
Bluesky CEO: imagine a 'world without Caesars'
Jay Graber dunks on Mark Zuckerberg without mentioning his name.
mashable.com
March 10, 2025 at 10:57 PM
the feminine urge to
Reposted by Tim S.
March 9, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Reposted by Tim S.
Foreign Man Knows An Incredible Amount About Harlem Globetrotters
theonion.com/foreign...
theonion.com/foreign...
March 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Foreign Man Knows An Incredible Amount About Harlem Globetrotters
theonion.com/foreign...
theonion.com/foreign...
Reposted by Tim S.
Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Golden Age Of China
Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Golden Age Of China
WASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision Tuesday night for a golden age of China. “Under my leader...
theonion.com
March 6, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Golden Age Of China
This is an old one but I saw it reposted re: the meeting with Zelenskyy in the Oval Office
March 1, 2025 at 5:27 PM
This is an old one but I saw it reposted re: the meeting with Zelenskyy in the Oval Office
Reposted by Tim S.
Reposted by Tim S.
Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country
Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country
WASHINGTON—According to a new report published Wednesday by the Pew Research Center, you live in a deeply embarrassing and barely functional country. “Our latest research and statistical analysis show...
theonion.com
February 20, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Report: You Live In An Embarrassing Country
Reposted by Tim S.
Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken
Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken
TACOMA, WA—Operating on pure natural instinct while leaping into action to protect his beloved owners, heroic dog Snickers saved a local family of five from the threat of an herb-roasted chicken, sour...
theonion.com
February 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken