Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
@joeauerbach.bsky.social
Professional nerd. Hobbyist nerd. Biological nerd?
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
Pinned
If you're a radical leftist, a progressive, a liberal, or even just a plain old Democrat, I'm probably on board with your politics.
But in this political climate, that shit doesn't matter because we're not even in the ballpark.
So until the room changes a LOT, I'm focusing on other shit.
But in this political climate, that shit doesn't matter because we're not even in the ballpark.
So until the room changes a LOT, I'm focusing on other shit.
I wish i'd known this BEFORE I got tea, but I guess better late than never.
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I wish i'd known this BEFORE I got tea, but I guess better late than never.
Why do we still have apps I can't screenshot in the year of our lady 2025? Fuck off, Costco. it's my screen.
November 13, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Why do we still have apps I can't screenshot in the year of our lady 2025? Fuck off, Costco. it's my screen.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
For folks (and journalists) who want to search the Oversight Committee email texts, I made a database for searching the 20k text files:
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
Epstein Document Search
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
November 13, 2025 at 1:12 AM
For folks (and journalists) who want to search the Oversight Committee email texts, I made a database for searching the 20k text files:
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
Y'all, what a great birthday gift. I just finished Dispatch and that was fucking satisfying.
Now I want to play again and do everything differently.
Now I want to play again and do everything differently.
November 13, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Y'all, what a great birthday gift. I just finished Dispatch and that was fucking satisfying.
Now I want to play again and do everything differently.
Now I want to play again and do everything differently.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
November 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
We've almost finished the summoning ritual for the Draw Steel summoner
Keep chanting!!
Keep chanting!!
November 12, 2025 at 6:53 PM
We've almost finished the summoning ritual for the Draw Steel summoner
Keep chanting!!
Keep chanting!!
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
6-7 is not dumber than rickrolls, you can't change my mind
November 12, 2025 at 11:25 PM
6-7 is not dumber than rickrolls, you can't change my mind
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
November 12, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I appreciate house democrats liberating the Epstein Emails in honor of my birthday.
November 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I appreciate house democrats liberating the Epstein Emails in honor of my birthday.
Today is my birthday. You can celebrate by doing some new martial arts shit, playing a roleplaying game, cooking a new food, or reading a chapter of my book to see if you like it (link in bio).
Those are the rules, folks. I just work here.
Those are the rules, folks. I just work here.
November 12, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Today is my birthday. You can celebrate by doing some new martial arts shit, playing a roleplaying game, cooking a new food, or reading a chapter of my book to see if you like it (link in bio).
Those are the rules, folks. I just work here.
Those are the rules, folks. I just work here.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
November 12, 2025 at 2:07 AM
OMGs, my players are finally looking into gnomes. I have been running this setting for like 10 years.
November 12, 2025 at 2:16 AM
OMGs, my players are finally looking into gnomes. I have been running this setting for like 10 years.
The number of times that YouTube tries to convince me to watch Interstellar is pretty impressive considering that I both own and have seen Interstellar ON THEIR PLATFORM.
November 12, 2025 at 12:21 AM
The number of times that YouTube tries to convince me to watch Interstellar is pretty impressive considering that I both own and have seen Interstellar ON THEIR PLATFORM.
A tip from your friendly neighborhood cloud engineer.
"Cloud Agnostic" is basically a myth. Stop chasing it and instead just be good at the cloud you're in.
Migrations will always be hard.
"Cloud Agnostic" is basically a myth. Stop chasing it and instead just be good at the cloud you're in.
Migrations will always be hard.
November 11, 2025 at 8:23 PM
A tip from your friendly neighborhood cloud engineer.
"Cloud Agnostic" is basically a myth. Stop chasing it and instead just be good at the cloud you're in.
Migrations will always be hard.
"Cloud Agnostic" is basically a myth. Stop chasing it and instead just be good at the cloud you're in.
Migrations will always be hard.
Conservative cultural meme directions.
1. Find the best picture of Sydney Sweeney you can find.
2. Find the worst picture you can find of some other beautiful women.
3. Put them side by side with an unrelated Andrew Tate quote.
4. Don't profit.
1. Find the best picture of Sydney Sweeney you can find.
2. Find the worst picture you can find of some other beautiful women.
3. Put them side by side with an unrelated Andrew Tate quote.
4. Don't profit.
November 11, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Conservative cultural meme directions.
1. Find the best picture of Sydney Sweeney you can find.
2. Find the worst picture you can find of some other beautiful women.
3. Put them side by side with an unrelated Andrew Tate quote.
4. Don't profit.
1. Find the best picture of Sydney Sweeney you can find.
2. Find the worst picture you can find of some other beautiful women.
3. Put them side by side with an unrelated Andrew Tate quote.
4. Don't profit.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
writing it "f*ck" sickens me. a coward's curse. say fuck or find a different word. get that nasty starfish asshole out of my sight
November 10, 2025 at 4:37 AM
writing it "f*ck" sickens me. a coward's curse. say fuck or find a different word. get that nasty starfish asshole out of my sight
Neat! This will go well with A Study in Effluence!
Proud to be the 118th backer 😎 on @BackerKit Crowdfunding for Boggits of Kingsmire - A Swampy Supplement for Draw Steel! www.backerkit.com/c/projects/t...
Proud to be the 118th backer 😎 on @BackerKit Crowdfunding for Boggits of Kingsmire - A Swampy Supplement for Draw Steel! www.backerkit.com/c/projects/t...
Boggits of Kingsmire - A Swampy Supplement for Draw Steel
A swampy supplement for MCDM Productions' Draw Steel RPG.
www.backerkit.com
November 11, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Neat! This will go well with A Study in Effluence!
Proud to be the 118th backer 😎 on @BackerKit Crowdfunding for Boggits of Kingsmire - A Swampy Supplement for Draw Steel! www.backerkit.com/c/projects/t...
Proud to be the 118th backer 😎 on @BackerKit Crowdfunding for Boggits of Kingsmire - A Swampy Supplement for Draw Steel! www.backerkit.com/c/projects/t...
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
Holy shit. Bring back Sarah Kendzior immediately, she's one of the most urgently needed voices of our time.
November 11, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Holy shit. Bring back Sarah Kendzior immediately, she's one of the most urgently needed voices of our time.
Y'all, if you ever mistake me for a smart person, remember that it was in the year of our Lady 2025 that I figured out that the reason Imogen Heap sounds so much like Frou Frou is that Imogen Heap is IN Frou Frou.
November 11, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Y'all, if you ever mistake me for a smart person, remember that it was in the year of our Lady 2025 that I figured out that the reason Imogen Heap sounds so much like Frou Frou is that Imogen Heap is IN Frou Frou.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
10 years ago : blockchain is the future of banking. if you don't understand you're an idiot
5 years ago : you're a dumbass if you dont get in on the ground level of the nft-do-not-copy.jpg
Now : you don't understand the stock market. NVIDIA can only grow until it's the only company in the world
5 years ago : you're a dumbass if you dont get in on the ground level of the nft-do-not-copy.jpg
Now : you don't understand the stock market. NVIDIA can only grow until it's the only company in the world
November 11, 2025 at 12:16 PM
10 years ago : blockchain is the future of banking. if you don't understand you're an idiot
5 years ago : you're a dumbass if you dont get in on the ground level of the nft-do-not-copy.jpg
Now : you don't understand the stock market. NVIDIA can only grow until it's the only company in the world
5 years ago : you're a dumbass if you dont get in on the ground level of the nft-do-not-copy.jpg
Now : you don't understand the stock market. NVIDIA can only grow until it's the only company in the world
I think it's kind of hilarious that when you speak out against Christianity people sort of act like you punched a baby.
Christianity is not the underdog, dude. It's like the dominant religion of the entire fucking world. It does not need anyone to protect it.
Christianity is not the underdog, dude. It's like the dominant religion of the entire fucking world. It does not need anyone to protect it.
November 11, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I think it's kind of hilarious that when you speak out against Christianity people sort of act like you punched a baby.
Christianity is not the underdog, dude. It's like the dominant religion of the entire fucking world. It does not need anyone to protect it.
Christianity is not the underdog, dude. It's like the dominant religion of the entire fucking world. It does not need anyone to protect it.
Hey, gaming folks (D&D or draw steel), what are your go to tricks for less physical fights?
Like, if your players are fighting a dream or an idea.
Like, if your players are fighting a dream or an idea.
November 11, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Hey, gaming folks (D&D or draw steel), what are your go to tricks for less physical fights?
Like, if your players are fighting a dream or an idea.
Like, if your players are fighting a dream or an idea.
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
Reposted by Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and 60 years that Gordon Lightfoot has been continuously singing that song about it
November 10, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and 60 years that Gordon Lightfoot has been continuously singing that song about it