Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
@joeauerbach.bsky.social
Professional nerd. Hobbyist nerd. Biological nerd?
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
Obligatory selfie.
November 4, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Obligatory selfie.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this like?
November 3, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this like?
When people say "it's just calories in, calories out" I look at this image and I just laugh and laugh.
October 31, 2025 at 1:25 AM
When people say "it's just calories in, calories out" I look at this image and I just laugh and laugh.
Not to go full @chuckwendig.bsky.social on you, But we're Apple picking today. Lynd's in Columbus.
The Rome today is like the best version of a supermarket Apple. Dense and sweet with just a little bit of tartness.
The Gold Rush are very tart.
The temperature is great for picking.
The Rome today is like the best version of a supermarket Apple. Dense and sweet with just a little bit of tartness.
The Gold Rush are very tart.
The temperature is great for picking.
October 25, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Not to go full @chuckwendig.bsky.social on you, But we're Apple picking today. Lynd's in Columbus.
The Rome today is like the best version of a supermarket Apple. Dense and sweet with just a little bit of tartness.
The Gold Rush are very tart.
The temperature is great for picking.
The Rome today is like the best version of a supermarket Apple. Dense and sweet with just a little bit of tartness.
The Gold Rush are very tart.
The temperature is great for picking.
I guess I just always assumed that if we had a civil war, someone would let me know. Like, I figured that there would be a declaration or something, but I guess we're just going to let states invade each other and call that normal?
October 17, 2025 at 3:30 AM
I guess I just always assumed that if we had a civil war, someone would let me know. Like, I figured that there would be a declaration or something, but I guess we're just going to let states invade each other and call that normal?
Mine feels a little obvious....
October 10, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Mine feels a little obvious....
I was on Fox News you guys.
October 9, 2025 at 4:43 PM
I was on Fox News you guys.
Pictured: why I hate socks
September 28, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Pictured: why I hate socks
Draw Steel tonight. They're fighting a god the size of a small house. Let's do it.
September 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Draw Steel tonight. They're fighting a god the size of a small house. Let's do it.
"Five generations back. There was a little girl named Annawell ....."
September 21, 2025 at 3:11 AM
"Five generations back. There was a little girl named Annawell ....."
My wife took what may be my new favorite picture of myself doing the loud edit of the book.
September 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
My wife took what may be my new favorite picture of myself doing the loud edit of the book.
On one hand, I guess I'm glad the refrigerator works. On the other hand, it turned my iced tea into a popsicle. Also my diet Coke. I guess I'm drinking water this morning. Afternoon. I'm losing track.
September 20, 2025 at 4:11 PM
On one hand, I guess I'm glad the refrigerator works. On the other hand, it turned my iced tea into a popsicle. Also my diet Coke. I guess I'm drinking water this morning. Afternoon. I'm losing track.
Damn. She thick.
September 13, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Damn. She thick.
Again, my wife is amazing.
September 12, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Again, my wife is amazing.
Feel free to ask him which one of these is the most reasonable.
September 11, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Feel free to ask him which one of these is the most reasonable.
This kind of thing.
September 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
This kind of thing.
I came up with a workable solution
August 31, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I came up with a workable solution
For sale: Baby glasses. Found in a park. Dirty.
August 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
For sale: Baby glasses. Found in a park. Dirty.
I saw that, too.
August 29, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I saw that, too.
I think this may be the keyboard
August 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I think this may be the keyboard
Okay, so this keyboard feels great, but I hate it. It looks like trash. below: the side by side of the good one and the trash one that types smoother.
August 23, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Okay, so this keyboard feels great, but I hate it. It looks like trash. below: the side by side of the good one and the trash one that types smoother.
Finally caught Tuesday. Why is this movie so fucking awesome? Go watch.
August 18, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Finally caught Tuesday. Why is this movie so fucking awesome? Go watch.