Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
joeauerbach.bsky.social
Joe Auerbach "turkey whisperer" 🦃
@joeauerbach.bsky.social
Professional nerd. Hobbyist nerd. Biological nerd?
he/him
I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach
Obligatory selfie.
November 4, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this like?
November 3, 2025 at 2:48 PM
October 31, 2025 at 5:55 PM
When people say "it's just calories in, calories out" I look at this image and I just laugh and laugh.
October 31, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Not to go full @chuckwendig.bsky.social on you, But we're Apple picking today. Lynd's in Columbus.

The Rome today is like the best version of a supermarket Apple. Dense and sweet with just a little bit of tartness.

The Gold Rush are very tart.

The temperature is great for picking.
October 25, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I guess I just always assumed that if we had a civil war, someone would let me know. Like, I figured that there would be a declaration or something, but I guess we're just going to let states invade each other and call that normal?
October 17, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Mine feels a little obvious....
October 10, 2025 at 11:49 AM
I was on Fox News you guys.
October 9, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Pictured: why I hate socks
September 28, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Draw Steel tonight. They're fighting a god the size of a small house. Let's do it.
September 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
"Five generations back. There was a little girl named Annawell ....."
September 21, 2025 at 3:11 AM
My wife took what may be my new favorite picture of myself doing the loud edit of the book.
September 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
On one hand, I guess I'm glad the refrigerator works. On the other hand, it turned my iced tea into a popsicle. Also my diet Coke. I guess I'm drinking water this morning. Afternoon. I'm losing track.
September 20, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Damn. She thick.
September 13, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Again, my wife is amazing.
September 12, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Feel free to ask him which one of these is the most reasonable.
September 11, 2025 at 1:40 PM
This kind of thing.
September 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I came up with a workable solution
August 31, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Fine.
August 31, 2025 at 12:52 AM
For sale: Baby glasses. Found in a park. Dirty.
August 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
August 30, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I saw that, too.
August 29, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I think this may be the keyboard
August 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Okay, so this keyboard feels great, but I hate it. It looks like trash. below: the side by side of the good one and the trash one that types smoother.
August 23, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Finally caught Tuesday. Why is this movie so fucking awesome? Go watch.
August 18, 2025 at 7:16 PM