Justin Elliott
@jdanelliott.bsky.social
booze things | Woody & PJ’s dad | bikes | blazer enthusiast | sometimes plays some music | arsenal fc | austin fc | in NYC I was a Texan, in Texas I’m a yankee
Reposted by Justin Elliott
July 31, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I would wager there is town in America with a higher concentration of terrible typefaces per capita than Fredericksburg, TX.
June 1, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I would wager there is town in America with a higher concentration of terrible typefaces per capita than Fredericksburg, TX.
A band called “Kansas” has absolutely no business sounding like this.
April 28, 2025 at 5:57 PM
A band called “Kansas” has absolutely no business sounding like this.
Reposted by Justin Elliott
It’s also not deportation if they’re a U.S. citizen
April 26, 2025 at 12:35 AM
It’s also not deportation if they’re a U.S. citizen
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Them: So it’s your fault?
Me: No, it’s the mistake’s fault.
Them: Who made the mistake?
Me: Somebody? Nobody? Doesn’t matter.
Them: It definitely does.
Me: No, see, it’s the mistake’s fault. That’s why I blame the mistake.
Them: But -
Me: I blame the mistake.
Them: [swears in ancient language]
Me: No, it’s the mistake’s fault.
Them: Who made the mistake?
Me: Somebody? Nobody? Doesn’t matter.
Them: It definitely does.
Me: No, see, it’s the mistake’s fault. That’s why I blame the mistake.
Them: But -
Me: I blame the mistake.
Them: [swears in ancient language]
April 19, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Them: So it’s your fault?
Me: No, it’s the mistake’s fault.
Them: Who made the mistake?
Me: Somebody? Nobody? Doesn’t matter.
Them: It definitely does.
Me: No, see, it’s the mistake’s fault. That’s why I blame the mistake.
Them: But -
Me: I blame the mistake.
Them: [swears in ancient language]
Me: No, it’s the mistake’s fault.
Them: Who made the mistake?
Me: Somebody? Nobody? Doesn’t matter.
Them: It definitely does.
Me: No, see, it’s the mistake’s fault. That’s why I blame the mistake.
Them: But -
Me: I blame the mistake.
Them: [swears in ancient language]
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Want more independent reporting and analysis on the business, culture, and politics of drinking in America? Please buy a subscription to Fingers. It's 100% reader-supported, and paying customers love it! Every subscription really counts, here's a Bluesky discount: www.fingers.email/upgrade?offe...
April 17, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Want more independent reporting and analysis on the business, culture, and politics of drinking in America? Please buy a subscription to Fingers. It's 100% reader-supported, and paying customers love it! Every subscription really counts, here's a Bluesky discount: www.fingers.email/upgrade?offe...
Reposted by Justin Elliott
April 16, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Here are two guaranteed ways for cyclists to piss off drivers:
1) roll through a stop sign
2) make a full and complete stop at a stop sign
1) roll through a stop sign
2) make a full and complete stop at a stop sign
April 11, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Here are two guaranteed ways for cyclists to piss off drivers:
1) roll through a stop sign
2) make a full and complete stop at a stop sign
1) roll through a stop sign
2) make a full and complete stop at a stop sign
Reposted by Justin Elliott
i kind of think democrats should announce that once they take power they will invade any country that hosts american citizens in trump gulags
April 11, 2025 at 6:25 PM
i kind of think democrats should announce that once they take power they will invade any country that hosts american citizens in trump gulags
Reposted by Justin Elliott
They're saying there's problems at the docks. Frank Sobotka. Remember him? Couple of cans would go missing. Bye bye. Ziggy, Ziggy sobotka. Beautiful name. Ziggy. He had the duck, remember the little duck? Fed the duck too much whiskey. So sad. Such a beautiful little duck. We're bringing him back
Welp, got an answer to this question: Apparently the answer is no tariffs are being collected. Trump broke the system
www.cnbc.com/2025/04/11/c...
www.cnbc.com/2025/04/11/c...
April 11, 2025 at 6:08 PM
They're saying there's problems at the docks. Frank Sobotka. Remember him? Couple of cans would go missing. Bye bye. Ziggy, Ziggy sobotka. Beautiful name. Ziggy. He had the duck, remember the little duck? Fed the duck too much whiskey. So sad. Such a beautiful little duck. We're bringing him back
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Reposted by Justin Elliott
reporter: donald trump has announced that americans must evolve into a race of hardy metal men via mandated injections of liquid mercury. your response?
klobuchar: *visibly straining to remember line consultants came up with* donkey kong donald’s economic policies are “bananas” for small business
klobuchar: *visibly straining to remember line consultants came up with* donkey kong donald’s economic policies are “bananas” for small business
April 4, 2025 at 9:05 PM
reporter: donald trump has announced that americans must evolve into a race of hardy metal men via mandated injections of liquid mercury. your response?
klobuchar: *visibly straining to remember line consultants came up with* donkey kong donald’s economic policies are “bananas” for small business
klobuchar: *visibly straining to remember line consultants came up with* donkey kong donald’s economic policies are “bananas” for small business
Reposted by Justin Elliott
I think the late nineteenth century manual labor job I could do is "bartender cowering behind the bar during a cowboy brawl"
April 8, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I think the late nineteenth century manual labor job I could do is "bartender cowering behind the bar during a cowboy brawl"
Reposted by Justin Elliott
But we're going to crash the stock market and we'll be doing it very strongly. We're not going to have lines anymore [gesturing up and down] they go like this and you never know what the hell they'll do. So we're not having lines. But we'll be looking at State Capitalism and probably many things
March 13, 2025 at 5:42 PM
But we're going to crash the stock market and we'll be doing it very strongly. We're not going to have lines anymore [gesturing up and down] they go like this and you never know what the hell they'll do. So we're not having lines. But we'll be looking at State Capitalism and probably many things
Reposted by Justin Elliott
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A “TRADE DEFICIT”—IT’S JUST CALLED “BUYING THINGS.” YOU DO NOT HAVE A TRADE DEFICIT WITH YOUR DENTIST JUST BECAUSE HE NEVER BUYS ANYTHING FROM YOU.
April 2, 2025 at 10:58 PM
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A “TRADE DEFICIT”—IT’S JUST CALLED “BUYING THINGS.” YOU DO NOT HAVE A TRADE DEFICIT WITH YOUR DENTIST JUST BECAUSE HE NEVER BUYS ANYTHING FROM YOU.
Goals
This isn’t funny it’s just mesmerizing and beautiful
April 3, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Goals
Reposted by Justin Elliott
New British insult just dropped
February 6, 2024 at 1:00 PM
New British insult just dropped
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Becoming a “thank you for your service” guy for a car dealership is the logical endpoint of American conservatism
March 26, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Becoming a “thank you for your service” guy for a car dealership is the logical endpoint of American conservatism
Reposted by Justin Elliott
people should know better than to ask people anything
March 16, 2025 at 12:06 AM
people should know better than to ask people anything
Reposted by Justin Elliott
mlb should pick out a few cities to build numerous 1/3 scale versions of historic ballparks for little leaguers
March 15, 2025 at 12:47 PM
mlb should pick out a few cities to build numerous 1/3 scale versions of historic ballparks for little leaguers
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Counterintuitive, but: this will crush the US wine industry. Booze gets to market on distributors' trucks. These fleets need volume to run efficiently. Subtract EU wine from the equation & it no longer pencils out. Any gains from less competition would likely be paid back out in margin loss.
March 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Counterintuitive, but: this will crush the US wine industry. Booze gets to market on distributors' trucks. These fleets need volume to run efficiently. Subtract EU wine from the equation & it no longer pencils out. Any gains from less competition would likely be paid back out in margin loss.
Reposted by Justin Elliott
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
March 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
Reposted by Justin Elliott
*donald trump waving an ancient scroll around on stage*
they say i shouldnt read from the scroll of azazel folks. the fake news wants you to think itll release “untold horrors”
*crowd goes ape shit*
its in aramaic but i dont know, who wants me to read it?
*lock her up chant starts*
they say i shouldnt read from the scroll of azazel folks. the fake news wants you to think itll release “untold horrors”
*crowd goes ape shit*
its in aramaic but i dont know, who wants me to read it?
*lock her up chant starts*
March 4, 2025 at 12:53 PM
*donald trump waving an ancient scroll around on stage*
they say i shouldnt read from the scroll of azazel folks. the fake news wants you to think itll release “untold horrors”
*crowd goes ape shit*
its in aramaic but i dont know, who wants me to read it?
*lock her up chant starts*
they say i shouldnt read from the scroll of azazel folks. the fake news wants you to think itll release “untold horrors”
*crowd goes ape shit*
its in aramaic but i dont know, who wants me to read it?
*lock her up chant starts*
Reposted by Justin Elliott
Haven't plugged the BAC starter pack in awhile, if you're looking for the finest poasts about alcohol/cannabis/etc. trade, smash that "follow all" button:
March 3, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Haven't plugged the BAC starter pack in awhile, if you're looking for the finest poasts about alcohol/cannabis/etc. trade, smash that "follow all" button: