Imperator Fish
@imperatorfish.bsky.social
Navy SEAL. Former Archbishop of Canterbury.
"Sunlight is the best detergent"
"Sunlight is the best detergent"
I don't understand all these open letters. I opened a letter this morning, but it was just my monthly Spark bill. Maybe I should have sent a copy of it to Stuff.
July 3, 2025 at 2:50 AM
I don't understand all these open letters. I opened a letter this morning, but it was just my monthly Spark bill. Maybe I should have sent a copy of it to Stuff.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Bill Clinton please endorse my enemies
June 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Bill Clinton please endorse my enemies
Reposted by Imperator Fish
crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their consultants
June 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM
crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their consultants
An helpful reminder.
When to use 'a' versus 'an' before a word that starts with 'h'. A reminder.
If you sound the 'h' it's 'a'.
If you don't sound the 'h' it's 'an'.
So it's 'an honour', but 'a horror'.
This has been your semi-regular reminder.
If you sound the 'h' it's 'a'.
If you don't sound the 'h' it's 'an'.
So it's 'an honour', but 'a horror'.
This has been your semi-regular reminder.
April 28, 2025 at 11:05 PM
An helpful reminder.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Analysis | One week ago, Pete Hegseth's embarrassing Signalgate dominated the news, and Trump needed to change the narrative. By tanking the world economy, he's done exactly that. The grand master of four-dimensional chess remains undefeated.
by Chris Cillizza
by Chris Cillizza
April 8, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Analysis | One week ago, Pete Hegseth's embarrassing Signalgate dominated the news, and Trump needed to change the narrative. By tanking the world economy, he's done exactly that. The grand master of four-dimensional chess remains undefeated.
by Chris Cillizza
by Chris Cillizza
It turns out that Trump's promised Golden Age was just everyone selling their stocks and buying gold bullion.
April 4, 2025 at 1:33 AM
It turns out that Trump's promised Golden Age was just everyone selling their stocks and buying gold bullion.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Opinion | Government workers need to be more productive on the job. They can start by writing weekly emails detailing their progress to a drug-addled edgelord who will receive them while playing Diablo 4 with teenagers.
February 23, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Opinion | Government workers need to be more productive on the job. They can start by writing weekly emails detailing their progress to a drug-addled edgelord who will receive them while playing Diablo 4 with teenagers.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
We should all start calling the US North Mexico.
January 26, 2025 at 12:43 AM
We should all start calling the US North Mexico.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
they should make a boy who is not back in town
January 7, 2025 at 5:26 AM
they should make a boy who is not back in town
Everyone who follows the history of popular uprisings knows that Syria’s future is a golden one.
December 8, 2024 at 7:41 AM
Everyone who follows the history of popular uprisings knows that Syria’s future is a golden one.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Bashar al-Assad’s biggest mistake? Not going on Joe Rogan.
December 7, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Bashar al-Assad’s biggest mistake? Not going on Joe Rogan.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Everyone treating the entire damn history of "maybe we should murder people who grew rich by extracting wealth from us" be like:
December 8, 2024 at 3:13 AM
Everyone treating the entire damn history of "maybe we should murder people who grew rich by extracting wealth from us" be like:
Very confident of a Black Caps victory from here.
December 7, 2024 at 11:40 PM
Very confident of a Black Caps victory from here.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Sure yeah you all hate CEOs now, but you'll change your tune when you need someone who can disrupt workplace engagement paradigms and offer bold innovations in the metrics sector
December 6, 2024 at 8:23 PM
Sure yeah you all hate CEOs now, but you'll change your tune when you need someone who can disrupt workplace engagement paradigms and offer bold innovations in the metrics sector
To be fair to Pete Hegseth, "I swear I'll quit drinking if you'll just give me a chance" is a pretty powerful sales pitch.
December 5, 2024 at 7:02 PM
To be fair to Pete Hegseth, "I swear I'll quit drinking if you'll just give me a chance" is a pretty powerful sales pitch.
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Confuse your conservative relatives by saying Hunter Biden should be pardoned because the government shouldn't have the right to deprive you of owning a firearm.
December 2, 2024 at 3:03 PM
Confuse your conservative relatives by saying Hunter Biden should be pardoned because the government shouldn't have the right to deprive you of owning a firearm.
Failed state
With his pardon of son Hunter, Joe Biden delivers a heartfelt hypocrisy
With his pardon of son Hunter, Joe Biden delivers a heartfelt hypocrisy
The president and supporters argue Hunter Biden would never have been charged were it not for his name – and any father might have done the same. But this exercise of power also looks like a validation of Donald Trump
A loving act of mercy by a father…
www.theguardian.com
December 2, 2024 at 7:28 AM
Failed state
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Looking at the recent polls, who’s next up when they roll Luxon?
December 1, 2024 at 7:30 AM
Looking at the recent polls, who’s next up when they roll Luxon?
Reposted by Imperator Fish
Proposal to rename the COVID report ‘1,001 AMAZING THINGS ABOUT NEW ZEALAND’S CEO ROCKSTAR PRIME MINISTER’
Proposal to rename the Abuse in Care findings ‘ELEVATING BIG ROCKS GOING FORWARD: THE INSPIRATIONALISING CHRIS LUXON STORY!!!’
Maybe then he’d find time to look at them
Proposal to rename the Abuse in Care findings ‘ELEVATING BIG ROCKS GOING FORWARD: THE INSPIRATIONALISING CHRIS LUXON STORY!!!’
Maybe then he’d find time to look at them
November 28, 2024 at 7:04 AM
Proposal to rename the COVID report ‘1,001 AMAZING THINGS ABOUT NEW ZEALAND’S CEO ROCKSTAR PRIME MINISTER’
Proposal to rename the Abuse in Care findings ‘ELEVATING BIG ROCKS GOING FORWARD: THE INSPIRATIONALISING CHRIS LUXON STORY!!!’
Maybe then he’d find time to look at them
Proposal to rename the Abuse in Care findings ‘ELEVATING BIG ROCKS GOING FORWARD: THE INSPIRATIONALISING CHRIS LUXON STORY!!!’
Maybe then he’d find time to look at them
Reposted by Imperator Fish
James Bond movies never show the part where the supervillain collects government subsidies to build his death tech.
November 27, 2024 at 5:03 PM
James Bond movies never show the part where the supervillain collects government subsidies to build his death tech.
Not really a surprise that he would, though. He shares a cabinet table with David Seymour www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/prime-min...
Prime Minister comfortable living by new radioactive waste facility
A facility for storing all of the country's radioactive waste has been built in Manawatū.
www.nzherald.co.nz
November 27, 2024 at 8:27 AM
Not really a surprise that he would, though. He shares a cabinet table with David Seymour www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/prime-min...
Reposted by Imperator Fish
inspired by our nation's leader, am thinking maybe I'll try a new approach in my search for gainful employment
![To whom it may concern,
I am interested in the position of [insert role]. I have no experience in this field, nor any of the required skills. Additionally I possess none of the personal attributes that make me in any way a suitable candidate.
However, inspired by our nation’s current Prime Minister, I believe you should just give me the job.
What I’d say to you is, as leader of this land, surely our Prime Minister sets the standard by which we should all be held. And thus, if he, whom one might, with great generosity, deem distinctly mediocre; devoid of any redeeming features be it of a professional or personal nature, can be selected for the highest role in the land, then surely you can hire me to do this. Why must there be prerequisites for a role answering a telephone, when there are none for a person answering to a nation?
What I’d also say to you is, if you do not discover my mojo, and instead find me and performance subpar, out of touch, by any or indeed all measures inept - if not dangerously derelict in my duties - in three years, you can choose to find someone else to replace me. After all, what is the worst that might happen? Approximately 100,000 people taking to the streets in the largest hīkoi in our nation’s history - broadcast around the world - to register their grave discontent at my negligence? Lol, I think not.
Our Prime Minister invites us to be more aspirational in our thinking, so, heeding his call and following his example, I will repeat, but this time louder, more forcefully, more red of face and thin of lip - more aspirationally, I’m saying to you - I am entitled to this job, so gimme.
Yours sincerely,](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tovgoxltmjvco6mu7tyhlgmk/bafkreigxii7sv2hic5kou7ostjrsvidirmjelfqywtygdvwylnmnbtjkfy@jpeg)
November 26, 2024 at 10:18 PM
inspired by our nation's leader, am thinking maybe I'll try a new approach in my search for gainful employment