Cousin slicing turkey with imitation hattori hanzo
hamklep.bsky.social
Cousin slicing turkey with imitation hattori hanzo
@hamklep.bsky.social
An old planet orbiting a dying star
Lol
December 26, 2024 at 5:52 PM
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if i was William Hurt in Altered States and i got so high that it turned me into a monkey man, i would watch The Matrix Reloaded
January 6, 2024 at 9:33 PM
The swish of the ball through the net. The squeak of fresh kicks on the hardwood. The roar of the crowd as the impossible shot goes in. These are the things that piss off nba journalists the most
December 26, 2024 at 4:31 PM
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November 8, 2024 at 6:21 AM
Tired of being a mote in gods eye. I would like to be upgraded to a speck
December 26, 2024 at 4:00 PM
Feel like we’re not cancelling enough the guy at chess.com who decided their bot from Mexico should describe her style of play as “spicy chess”
December 26, 2024 at 3:19 AM
The first book is about all of y’all’s dicks. Not mine though it’s normal
December 25, 2024 at 6:32 PM
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Grinch: I would like to buy a dog

Pet store employee: ok are you a guy?

Grinch: No. I am some sort of gorilla

Pet store employee: That is fine.

Grinch: A green gorilla

Employee: Doesn’t matter
December 25, 2024 at 4:53 PM
Trying to find reasonably priced men’s socks that won’t fall apart in a year. Do not say the word Bombas to me it’s an obscenity to charge 60 bucks for a three pack of socks. Their ceo should be tried by the Sanhedrin
December 25, 2024 at 5:35 PM
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NIXON: Grinches... First, they'll try to steal Chistmas and then (unintelligable) ...and that's just the beginning, of course.

DEAN: (coughs) Right, that's... uh...

NIXON: Their hearts are three times smaller than ours, did you know that?
December 25, 2024 at 2:01 AM
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you ask a white person what their ethnicity is and they start bringing out the provinces 😭 [This Post Was Censored By Bluesky's Racism Filter; However, It Remains Preserved For Educational Purposes]
December 18, 2024 at 4:45 AM
Santa probably smells rank by the time he’s done delivering gifts. Traveling all over the world in a single night wearing non-breathable fabrics? That dude is getting disgustingly sweaty
December 25, 2024 at 1:38 PM
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ACAB includes (a mist comes over my vision) the thing that walks beside the shadows, the one who creeps under the waves, the whisper of the rotting trees
December 25, 2024 at 5:01 AM
It feels a little weird to be posting on Christmas Eve but we did gifts and meal on Sunday because half the extended family has to work this week so 🤷
December 25, 2024 at 3:06 AM
December 25, 2024 at 12:56 AM
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*putting on tiny spectacles and rifling through some papers* our records indicate you suck balls
December 24, 2024 at 11:34 PM
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Werner! Werner, it’s Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Herzog. You know that new sound you’re looking for? Well listen to this!
*holds phone up to flies buzzing around a decomposing corpse*
November 3, 2024 at 5:37 PM
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"ORGANIZATION FOR NATIONAL SECURITY," slide 39 of 41 [gallery]
December 23, 2024 at 2:00 PM
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Setting up an out of office reply that says my plane was shot down
December 23, 2024 at 12:22 AM
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all gen alpha kids are named like donkey kong or ganondorf and know its their birthright to assassinate a president
December 22, 2024 at 9:13 AM
Some of yall
December 22, 2024 at 1:55 PM
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watching college football
December 22, 2024 at 2:10 AM
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Just me and @hamklep.bsky.social security things
December 21, 2024 at 11:45 PM
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reports of my death are greatly anticipated
October 7, 2024 at 2:32 PM
Why do we park in a driveway but bury our victims in the swamp off the parkway
December 21, 2024 at 9:04 PM