@greenmamba.bsky.social
My in-law's cable subscription programming seems to exclusively feature recent murders, home shopping, Wayans brothers movies and browns you should be suspicious of.
December 26, 2025 at 5:07 PM
My in-law's cable subscription programming seems to exclusively feature recent murders, home shopping, Wayans brothers movies and browns you should be suspicious of.
I just missed my protected left turn because the teenagers in the Jeep in front of me had an old fashioned Chinese fire drill. I think the kids are gonna be alright, you guys.
December 23, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I just missed my protected left turn because the teenagers in the Jeep in front of me had an old fashioned Chinese fire drill. I think the kids are gonna be alright, you guys.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your employees are camped out in the bathroom on their phones because it's the only safe space, your work culture is toxic.
December 22, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your employees are camped out in the bathroom on their phones because it's the only safe space, your work culture is toxic.
The TV commercial where the young boy-girl siblings just use ChatGPT to fully plan a first road trip for them rather than spending 30 minutes to look at a map and just connect and share their interests and curiosities and common humanity is the most depressing thing I've ever seen.
December 21, 2025 at 2:35 AM
The TV commercial where the young boy-girl siblings just use ChatGPT to fully plan a first road trip for them rather than spending 30 minutes to look at a map and just connect and share their interests and curiosities and common humanity is the most depressing thing I've ever seen.
You know Sean McVay must have a "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" sized mashed potato mountain of Bolivian cocaine laced with human growth hormone "just to take the edge off, bro!" in his office.
December 19, 2025 at 3:51 AM
You know Sean McVay must have a "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" sized mashed potato mountain of Bolivian cocaine laced with human growth hormone "just to take the edge off, bro!" in his office.
Somewhere in the distance you can hear a fragile conservative man smashing a mostly completed Lego Star Destroyer while screaming, "THAT'S A FUCKING MAN'S JOB!!!!!" at the TV when he notices Sarah Thomas is the Downs Judge on the officiating crew for Thursday Night Football.
December 19, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Somewhere in the distance you can hear a fragile conservative man smashing a mostly completed Lego Star Destroyer while screaming, "THAT'S A FUCKING MAN'S JOB!!!!!" at the TV when he notices Sarah Thomas is the Downs Judge on the officiating crew for Thursday Night Football.
I once read "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" while delayed in airports. The most interesting part was Hitler's insane jealousy of his half brother Alois who was a very ordinary bartender. For decades customers would ask Alois about Adolf, and he would just basically say, woof that messy bitch.
December 18, 2025 at 10:25 PM
I once read "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" while delayed in airports. The most interesting part was Hitler's insane jealousy of his half brother Alois who was a very ordinary bartender. For decades customers would ask Alois about Adolf, and he would just basically say, woof that messy bitch.
If you also have not read the Chuck Tingle Wikipedia article I highly recommend it. Mood has been greatly improved.
December 18, 2025 at 9:22 PM
If you also have not read the Chuck Tingle Wikipedia article I highly recommend it. Mood has been greatly improved.
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The early bird might get the worm but they didn’t get all the worms because I looked around and baby there’s still worms
December 4, 2025 at 6:17 PM
The early bird might get the worm but they didn’t get all the worms because I looked around and baby there’s still worms
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It takes 3 ghosts to reform 1 billionaire, how many ghosts do we have
December 18, 2025 at 3:25 PM
It takes 3 ghosts to reform 1 billionaire, how many ghosts do we have
Sometimes relationships are just hearing your partner in another room loudly booing shit.
December 18, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Sometimes relationships are just hearing your partner in another room loudly booing shit.
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Christmas night: "But Santa, you've hardly touched your Zardoz cookies."
December 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Christmas night: "But Santa, you've hardly touched your Zardoz cookies."
On the way home I passed a port-o-potty pumping truck with no logo or company name. The only thing written on its side was "NOT MILK". And the fact that it was completely necessary to say that explains a lot about our culture.
December 11, 2025 at 8:18 PM
On the way home I passed a port-o-potty pumping truck with no logo or company name. The only thing written on its side was "NOT MILK". And the fact that it was completely necessary to say that explains a lot about our culture.
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Movies in the 80s had zero fucks to give and I watched them all.
80s Movies I Watched More Than Once — Banned Library
The majority of my childhood was consuming media. Reading books while the television was on kinda kid. Because of this and an aunt who got us free HBO, I had a steady stream of low budget movies going...
www.bannedlibrary.com
December 10, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Movies in the 80s had zero fucks to give and I watched them all.
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Glad I learned how to conserve water in elementary school so AI can suggest glue as a pizza topping
December 10, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Glad I learned how to conserve water in elementary school so AI can suggest glue as a pizza topping
You guys, who told Howie Mandel he was cool? Shame on you.
December 8, 2025 at 1:43 PM
You guys, who told Howie Mandel he was cool? Shame on you.
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"I'll burn down your house" - legally actionable, boring, common
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
December 7, 2025 at 11:56 PM
"I'll burn down your house" - legally actionable, boring, common
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
"I told the trees about you" - legally acceptable, foreboding, unsettling, the plants know your name and hate you
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“Donald, you are not going to believe just how hungry this caterpillar is.”
December 5, 2025 at 6:56 PM
“Donald, you are not going to believe just how hungry this caterpillar is.”
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did i randomly grab some slices of pizza in a bar that happened to be doing karaoke and sing limp bizkit’s “my way?” yes i did
December 6, 2025 at 3:15 AM
did i randomly grab some slices of pizza in a bar that happened to be doing karaoke and sing limp bizkit’s “my way?” yes i did
I am so ready for the real crime fad to wane.
December 4, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I am so ready for the real crime fad to wane.
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May all of your bajas be blasted
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 AM
May all of your bajas be blasted
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You must have come over on the baeflower
November 27, 2025 at 5:53 PM
You must have come over on the baeflower
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You could fit my limited vocabulary into a really small thingy.
September 30, 2025 at 9:14 AM
You could fit my limited vocabulary into a really small thingy.
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