One of my random life fears is being at the dentist when a big earthquake hits. Hanging out there until it was safe to leave? Having a whole major life experience with dental people? Sounds terrible.

It's annoying that we already had so many existing problems to solve before these assholes created a bunch of new ones for no reason

Every driver wants streets to be widened to “speed up traffic” unless it’s the street where they live. They’re so close to getting it

i do find it a fascinating assumption rightwingers are making that they should be able to walk into any daycare center and observe random peoples children whenever they want

people who go to Ikea for fun

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up.

I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

They're selling you the same pasta in different shapes and you're falling for it

My love for em dashes is as old as the hills and as mighty as my inability to make a transition between thoughts literally any other way and I will be damned if I let the clankers take that from me

I miss the 80s.

Bruce Willis gets off the plane in Die Hard and goes directly to baggage claim, where he lights up a cigarette in the first 2 minutes of the movie.

Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask