Jay Hulme
@jayhulmepoet.bsky.social
Poet. Speaker. Educator. Performer. Adult, YA, and Children's poetry. Occasionally picture books. Lots of posts about churches. Unapologetically trans (he/him) jayhulme.com
Reposted by Jay Hulme
I have been waiting for this book for years and genuinely believe it'll be the poetry collection of 2026. Don't believe me? Check out those endorsements!
Pre-order 'Folkish' now. Trust me. It's incredible. ninearchespress.com/publications...
Pre-order 'Folkish' now. Trust me. It's incredible. ninearchespress.com/publications...
February 4, 2026 at 10:08 AM
I have been waiting for this book for years and genuinely believe it'll be the poetry collection of 2026. Don't believe me? Check out those endorsements!
Pre-order 'Folkish' now. Trust me. It's incredible. ninearchespress.com/publications...
Pre-order 'Folkish' now. Trust me. It's incredible. ninearchespress.com/publications...
I mean it's mostly sheep and horses and cows so. Just never saw a pig. It's why I'm suspicious.
February 4, 2026 at 2:53 PM
I mean it's mostly sheep and horses and cows so. Just never saw a pig. It's why I'm suspicious.
Pigs are real. Happy belated birthday to me. What a discovery.
February 4, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Pigs are real. Happy belated birthday to me. What a discovery.
So we walked down to the park, and into the petting zoo, and there, in the drizzle... A PIG!
February 4, 2026 at 2:23 PM
So we walked down to the park, and into the petting zoo, and there, in the drizzle... A PIG!
Today I told my friends this. That my stupidest conspiracy theory was that pigs aren't real.
And they said they could show me a pig. Right then.
And they said they could show me a pig. Right then.
February 4, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Today I told my friends this. That my stupidest conspiracy theory was that pigs aren't real.
And they said they could show me a pig. Right then.
And they said they could show me a pig. Right then.
I went to places where they should be pigs. There were never pigs. I went to a huge agricultural show, went into the pig area... And it was empty. "They've just put the pigs away", the man said... A Likely Story... I thought
February 4, 2026 at 2:20 PM
I went to places where they should be pigs. There were never pigs. I went to a huge agricultural show, went into the pig area... And it was empty. "They've just put the pigs away", the man said... A Likely Story... I thought
For 29 years I never saw a pig.
I started getting suspicious. How can there be an animal that produces so much deliciousness and I just happen to have never seen it? What are people hiding, I asked? What is the meaning of this secret?
I started getting suspicious. How can there be an animal that produces so much deliciousness and I just happen to have never seen it? What are people hiding, I asked? What is the meaning of this secret?
February 4, 2026 at 2:19 PM
For 29 years I never saw a pig.
I started getting suspicious. How can there be an animal that produces so much deliciousness and I just happen to have never seen it? What are people hiding, I asked? What is the meaning of this secret?
I started getting suspicious. How can there be an animal that produces so much deliciousness and I just happen to have never seen it? What are people hiding, I asked? What is the meaning of this secret?
Reposted by Jay Hulme
Oh, also, the antipope believes that he holds the Kingship of Ireland in trust.
There's a lot to unpack here.
There's a lot to unpack here.
April 30, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Oh, also, the antipope believes that he holds the Kingship of Ireland in trust.
There's a lot to unpack here.
There's a lot to unpack here.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
I was also able to find the wild theology I was looking for: they believe the antichrist will be conceived by a Satanic Jewish woman (the Anti-Mary) having sex with a former Palmaryian bishop on an altar, while he is wearing his vestments. As part of this woman will strangle the bishop to death.
April 30, 2025 at 8:19 AM
I was also able to find the wild theology I was looking for: they believe the antichrist will be conceived by a Satanic Jewish woman (the Anti-Mary) having sex with a former Palmaryian bishop on an altar, while he is wearing his vestments. As part of this woman will strangle the bishop to death.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
The former antipope and his wife were confronted by a bishop, and there was a fight. Another bishop entered the fray. Everyone got injured a bit, but former antipope Gregory XVIII was stabbed badly, with his own knife, and had to be airlifted to hospital.
He was sentenced to six years in jail.
He was sentenced to six years in jail.
April 30, 2025 at 8:15 AM
The former antipope and his wife were confronted by a bishop, and there was a fight. Another bishop entered the fray. Everyone got injured a bit, but former antipope Gregory XVIII was stabbed badly, with his own knife, and had to be airlifted to hospital.
He was sentenced to six years in jail.
He was sentenced to six years in jail.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
A few years later, just as a service was beginning in the sect's basilica, two masked figures, carrying knives, bags, zip ties, and clown masks, scaled the high walls of the compound, planning to rob the place.
They were the former antipope Gregory XVIII, and his now-wife, the former nun.
They were the former antipope Gregory XVIII, and his now-wife, the former nun.
April 30, 2025 at 8:13 AM
A few years later, just as a service was beginning in the sect's basilica, two masked figures, carrying knives, bags, zip ties, and clown masks, scaled the high walls of the compound, planning to rob the place.
They were the former antipope Gregory XVIII, and his now-wife, the former nun.
They were the former antipope Gregory XVIII, and his now-wife, the former nun.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
The former antipope and his girlfriend, the former nun, did a series of press interviews, and photoshoots, including one partly nude, in which they took the place of Adam and Eve.
Just months before he had been excommunicating church members for not wearing modest enough pyjamas in their own homes.
Just months before he had been excommunicating church members for not wearing modest enough pyjamas in their own homes.
April 30, 2025 at 8:10 AM
The former antipope and his girlfriend, the former nun, did a series of press interviews, and photoshoots, including one partly nude, in which they took the place of Adam and Eve.
Just months before he had been excommunicating church members for not wearing modest enough pyjamas in their own homes.
Just months before he had been excommunicating church members for not wearing modest enough pyjamas in their own homes.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
In 2016 Antipope Gregory XVIII abdicated from his role as Pope, and left the weird sect, in order to be in a relationship with a nun who was also from the aforementioned sect.
Upon leaving, he was accused of stealing the Popemobile (a BMW) and a large sum of money. He denies this.
Upon leaving, he was accused of stealing the Popemobile (a BMW) and a large sum of money. He denies this.
April 30, 2025 at 8:08 AM
In 2016 Antipope Gregory XVIII abdicated from his role as Pope, and left the weird sect, in order to be in a relationship with a nun who was also from the aforementioned sect.
Upon leaving, he was accused of stealing the Popemobile (a BMW) and a large sum of money. He denies this.
Upon leaving, he was accused of stealing the Popemobile (a BMW) and a large sum of money. He denies this.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
Recently I found myself on Antipope Instagram, where there are endless reels of the current Antipope of the Palmarian Catholic Church.
This is, of course, extremely my jam, and I started reading up on them hoping to find some wild theology, but instead I found something WAY better...
This is, of course, extremely my jam, and I started reading up on them hoping to find some wild theology, but instead I found something WAY better...
April 30, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Recently I found myself on Antipope Instagram, where there are endless reels of the current Antipope of the Palmarian Catholic Church.
This is, of course, extremely my jam, and I started reading up on them hoping to find some wild theology, but instead I found something WAY better...
This is, of course, extremely my jam, and I started reading up on them hoping to find some wild theology, but instead I found something WAY better...
Reposted by Jay Hulme
Sorting out my ppt for my public talk at the University of Leicester School of Heritage and Culture's Wednesday Seminar Series on the 11th of this month at 16:30.
If you'd like to attend either in person or online, then you can email the organisers for all the info: shac-wedseminar@leicester.ac.uk
If you'd like to attend either in person or online, then you can email the organisers for all the info: shac-wedseminar@leicester.ac.uk
February 4, 2026 at 9:52 AM
Sorting out my ppt for my public talk at the University of Leicester School of Heritage and Culture's Wednesday Seminar Series on the 11th of this month at 16:30.
If you'd like to attend either in person or online, then you can email the organisers for all the info: shac-wedseminar@leicester.ac.uk
If you'd like to attend either in person or online, then you can email the organisers for all the info: shac-wedseminar@leicester.ac.uk
Reposted by Jay Hulme
The bones require no intervention. They are able to rise through the earth all by themselves, and enjoy making their way to a premature resurrection.
January 23, 2026 at 1:48 PM
The bones require no intervention. They are able to rise through the earth all by themselves, and enjoy making their way to a premature resurrection.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
For the rest of the day, a rotating cast of police officers visit the church. They say they're doing "reassurance patrols". I tell them that they're more stressed than we are. That human bones are an everyday occurrence here, with our ancient graveyard. Then I offer each of them a cup of tea.
January 23, 2026 at 12:07 PM
For the rest of the day, a rotating cast of police officers visit the church. They say they're doing "reassurance patrols". I tell them that they're more stressed than we are. That human bones are an everyday occurrence here, with our ancient graveyard. Then I offer each of them a cup of tea.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
I say to the police that it's important to us, to have the bones back. That whoever they belonged to wanted to be buried, here, at this church. That even though time separates us, time is nothing to God, and they are still part of our community. I say we want to bring them home. To rebury them.
January 23, 2026 at 12:04 PM
I say to the police that it's important to us, to have the bones back. That whoever they belonged to wanted to be buried, here, at this church. That even though time separates us, time is nothing to God, and they are still part of our community. I say we want to bring them home. To rebury them.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
And so I say to the detectives "look, I know it's a weird question, but when you've confirmed they're old graveyard bones, not murder bones, can we have them back?"
And the detectives say "... We've never been asked that before..."
And the detectives say "... We've never been asked that before..."
January 23, 2026 at 12:02 PM
And so I say to the detectives "look, I know it's a weird question, but when you've confirmed they're old graveyard bones, not murder bones, can we have them back?"
And the detectives say "... We've never been asked that before..."
And the detectives say "... We've never been asked that before..."
Reposted by Jay Hulme
As the detectives are going to leave, to take all they'd learned back to hq, I say, "look, I know nobody is confirming you've found bones. But I know it's bones, and you know it's bones, and you know that I know it's bones."
And they say "...yes."
And they say "...yes."
January 23, 2026 at 12:01 PM
As the detectives are going to leave, to take all they'd learned back to hq, I say, "look, I know nobody is confirming you've found bones. But I know it's bones, and you know it's bones, and you know that I know it's bones."
And they say "...yes."
And they say "...yes."
Reposted by Jay Hulme
I talk for a while to these detectives, about graveyard dirt. How to identify it. How the graveyard size and shape fluctuated over time. How, when they made the new road, they dug a foot or so down, took the bones they found, and then stopped. How the ground was filled with bodies for meters around.
January 23, 2026 at 11:59 AM
I talk for a while to these detectives, about graveyard dirt. How to identify it. How the graveyard size and shape fluctuated over time. How, when they made the new road, they dug a foot or so down, took the bones they found, and then stopped. How the ground was filled with bodies for meters around.
Reposted by Jay Hulme
We go outside, so I can show the police the old plans in context. I look into the hole the workers dug. See the pavement blocks, the sand they laid them on, and below that, rich black dirt. I exclaim "Oh! That's graveyard dirt! I'd know it anywhere! That's well fed dirt, if you know what I mean."
January 23, 2026 at 11:57 AM
We go outside, so I can show the police the old plans in context. I look into the hole the workers dug. See the pavement blocks, the sand they laid them on, and below that, rich black dirt. I exclaim "Oh! That's graveyard dirt! I'd know it anywhere! That's well fed dirt, if you know what I mean."
Reposted by Jay Hulme
I consider going over and saying "hi. If you find a body, don't worry, just give me a call"
And then I think about that for a second, and how they would absolutely phone the police if a stranger in a hoodie walked up to them in the dark and said "don't phone the police if you find a body, call me."
And then I think about that for a second, and how they would absolutely phone the police if a stranger in a hoodie walked up to them in the dark and said "don't phone the police if you find a body, call me."
January 23, 2026 at 11:48 AM
I consider going over and saying "hi. If you find a body, don't worry, just give me a call"
And then I think about that for a second, and how they would absolutely phone the police if a stranger in a hoodie walked up to them in the dark and said "don't phone the police if you find a body, call me."
And then I think about that for a second, and how they would absolutely phone the police if a stranger in a hoodie walked up to them in the dark and said "don't phone the police if you find a body, call me."
Reposted by Jay Hulme
A few days ago, I stood in the graveyard of an 1100 year old church, getting damper and damper in the drizzling rain.
A woman walked into the graveyard, waved, said hello, and, as we had previously arranged, handed me a paper bag full of human bones.
The life of a churchwarden is a strange one...
A woman walked into the graveyard, waved, said hello, and, as we had previously arranged, handed me a paper bag full of human bones.
The life of a churchwarden is a strange one...
January 23, 2026 at 11:44 AM
A few days ago, I stood in the graveyard of an 1100 year old church, getting damper and damper in the drizzling rain.
A woman walked into the graveyard, waved, said hello, and, as we had previously arranged, handed me a paper bag full of human bones.
The life of a churchwarden is a strange one...
A woman walked into the graveyard, waved, said hello, and, as we had previously arranged, handed me a paper bag full of human bones.
The life of a churchwarden is a strange one...
I'm notorious for talking in my sleep and once I was halfway up a mountain, days walk from anywhere, and I woke the person I was hiking with up by going "I'm not the murderer! YOU'RE the murderer!" And she was just lying there in the darkness like "Well... I guess he did say he's NOT a murder soooo"
February 4, 2026 at 10:53 AM
I'm notorious for talking in my sleep and once I was halfway up a mountain, days walk from anywhere, and I woke the person I was hiking with up by going "I'm not the murderer! YOU'RE the murderer!" And she was just lying there in the darkness like "Well... I guess he did say he's NOT a murder soooo"