BP from the Internet
@garfieldandfiends.bsky.social
It's me, BP from online (the real and only BP)
Pinned
Psychic detective at a crime scene: It's exactly like the dream
Other cop: What is it?
*psychic detective picks up an object from the ground* A Garfield themed energy drink called Garfuel
Other cop: I don't get it
Psychic detective, suddenly terrified: That's exactly what you said in the dream
Other cop: What is it?
*psychic detective picks up an object from the ground* A Garfield themed energy drink called Garfuel
Other cop: I don't get it
Psychic detective, suddenly terrified: That's exactly what you said in the dream
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 AM
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Tubi is such a crazy streaming service. It’s like if the Criterion Closet was in a gas station
December 9, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Tubi is such a crazy streaming service. It’s like if the Criterion Closet was in a gas station
Reposted by BP from the Internet
this has become a very important video to me
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
this has become a very important video to me
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Reposted by BP from the Internet
ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
November 29, 2025 at 6:07 AM
ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…
Had a dream I won a cocktail based game show. The drink was cough syrup and Jagermeister and I called it Tussin and Fightin
November 29, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Had a dream I won a cocktail based game show. The drink was cough syrup and Jagermeister and I called it Tussin and Fightin
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Pediatricians say vaccines do not cause autism. A bear-eating heroin addict who fantasizes about sucking his own semen out of his lovers' orifices says they do. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
November 26, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Pediatricians say vaccines do not cause autism. A bear-eating heroin addict who fantasizes about sucking his own semen out of his lovers' orifices says they do. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Incredible headline.
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says
Grok has been reprogrammed to say Musk is better than everyone at everything, including blowjobs, piss drinking, playing quarterback, conquering Europe, etc.
www.404media.co
November 20, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Incredible headline.
A farm themed rave for children called Charlotte's Wub
August 23, 2025 at 2:48 AM
A farm themed rave for children called Charlotte's Wub
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Taylor Swift is a jam band.
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
August 14, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Taylor Swift is a jam band.
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
She:
Plays 3-hour shows
Has a hit 10-plus minute song
Has a in-jokes for hardcore fans
Has fans travel thousands of miles to see her
Plays multi-night runs at the same venue
Has fans hang out before show, selling bootleg merch
Impresses two bearded middle aged podcasters
One reason I keep Telegram is to see who in my phone contacts has fallen on hard times by recently reinstalling Telegram
June 13, 2025 at 10:26 PM
One reason I keep Telegram is to see who in my phone contacts has fallen on hard times by recently reinstalling Telegram
Another normal day in the US
June 13, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Another normal day in the US
Reposted by BP from the Internet
"Were treated like dogs. Theyre making us lay on the floor. Were here to help Waymo"
Its ok grandpa. The war ended 40 years ago. Go to sleep
Its ok grandpa. The war ended 40 years ago. Go to sleep
June 10, 2025 at 1:37 AM
"Were treated like dogs. Theyre making us lay on the floor. Were here to help Waymo"
Its ok grandpa. The war ended 40 years ago. Go to sleep
Its ok grandpa. The war ended 40 years ago. Go to sleep
Reposted by BP from the Internet
The new “Warner” company will continue the traditional film and television business, while the “Brothers Discovery” company will focus on the booming market for incest pornography
June 9, 2025 at 11:50 AM
The new “Warner” company will continue the traditional film and television business, while the “Brothers Discovery” company will focus on the booming market for incest pornography
Reposted by BP from the Internet
I asked Grok 3 to explain white genocide like Mary Berry on a ketamine bender
May 19, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I asked Grok 3 to explain white genocide like Mary Berry on a ketamine bender
Reposted by BP from the Internet
your energy actually is finite and spending time fighting about the former president while the current president is putting this country in a wood chipper seems like a bad use of it
May 19, 2025 at 1:39 AM
your energy actually is finite and spending time fighting about the former president while the current president is putting this country in a wood chipper seems like a bad use of it
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Tesla now accepts Cybertruck trade-ins, and the official resale loss is $35k over just 6,000 miles.
I repeat: according to Tesla itself a Cybertruck loses $5.60 cents per mile, not counting the cost of electricity, tires, etc.
Unprecedented levels of flop!
www.torquenews.com/11826/tesla-...
I repeat: according to Tesla itself a Cybertruck loses $5.60 cents per mile, not counting the cost of electricity, tires, etc.
Unprecedented levels of flop!
www.torquenews.com/11826/tesla-...
Tesla Starts Accepting Cybertruck Trade-Ins – According to Tesla, a Cybertruck Loses $35,000 Over 6,000 Miles ($5.6 Per Mile)
Tesla has reversed its policy barring Cybertruck trade-ins. A Cybertruck owner says Tesla offered him $65,400 for his $100,00 truck with 6,200 miles. This means, according to Tesla, a Cybertruck loses...
www.torquenews.com
May 18, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Tesla now accepts Cybertruck trade-ins, and the official resale loss is $35k over just 6,000 miles.
I repeat: according to Tesla itself a Cybertruck loses $5.60 cents per mile, not counting the cost of electricity, tires, etc.
Unprecedented levels of flop!
www.torquenews.com/11826/tesla-...
I repeat: according to Tesla itself a Cybertruck loses $5.60 cents per mile, not counting the cost of electricity, tires, etc.
Unprecedented levels of flop!
www.torquenews.com/11826/tesla-...
This couple is staring at you from across the bar. One of them walks over to you and asks seductively "how many liters of blood is in your body right now?"
The absolute fucking cackle I let out at this headline
May 11, 2025 at 12:01 AM
This couple is staring at you from across the bar. One of them walks over to you and asks seductively "how many liters of blood is in your body right now?"
Reposted by BP from the Internet
I didn’t really come into my own as a boy genius until I was about 34
May 6, 2025 at 7:21 AM
I didn’t really come into my own as a boy genius until I was about 34
Reposted by BP from the Internet
The job market's booming if you're an asshole.
Cartoon: Fascism career fair
A cartoon by Brian McFadden. Follow me on � Mastodon ,� Bluesky ,� Patreon ,� or at � my website .
www.dailykos.com
April 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
The job market's booming if you're an asshole.
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Reposted by BP from the Internet
Here at Target, we believe in the importance of staying in step with the evolving external landscape. However, it’s clear that our recent policy changes around DEI have missed the mark. Truthfully, we did not realize you queers had money
April 17, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Here at Target, we believe in the importance of staying in step with the evolving external landscape. However, it’s clear that our recent policy changes around DEI have missed the mark. Truthfully, we did not realize you queers had money