Gabe Evans' Cow
@gabeevanscow.bsky.social
Just a lonely cow, belonging to cosplay cowboy Gabe Evans - a serial liar representing Colorado's 8th congressional district (until he gets voted out in 2026). But not by me...y'know...cuz I'm a cow...
MOO!
MOO!
Pinned
Gabe Evans thinks he's a cowboy. As his cow, I don't have the heart to tell him...
Moo!
#CO08
#GabeEvans
Moo!
#CO08
#GabeEvans
For instance - did he really work on cases involving sex offenders and human trafficking?
@denverpost.com
@coloradonewsline.com
@cprnews.bsky.social
@coloradotimesrecorder.com
@kylec.bsky.social
@nexton9news.bsky.social
@coloradosun.bsky.social
@yellowscenemag.bsky.social
@greeleytribune.com
Moo!
@denverpost.com
@coloradonewsline.com
@cprnews.bsky.social
@coloradotimesrecorder.com
@kylec.bsky.social
@nexton9news.bsky.social
@coloradosun.bsky.social
@yellowscenemag.bsky.social
@greeleytribune.com
Moo!
Gabe Evans talks a lot about his former life as a police officer (see below). However - we know from past reporting that he has embellished his past quite a bit.
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
November 21, 2025 at 2:11 AM
For instance - did he really work on cases involving sex offenders and human trafficking?
@denverpost.com
@coloradonewsline.com
@cprnews.bsky.social
@coloradotimesrecorder.com
@kylec.bsky.social
@nexton9news.bsky.social
@coloradosun.bsky.social
@yellowscenemag.bsky.social
@greeleytribune.com
Moo!
@denverpost.com
@coloradonewsline.com
@cprnews.bsky.social
@coloradotimesrecorder.com
@kylec.bsky.social
@nexton9news.bsky.social
@coloradosun.bsky.social
@yellowscenemag.bsky.social
@greeleytribune.com
Moo!
Gabe Evans talks a lot about his former life as a police officer (see below). However - we know from past reporting that he has embellished his past quite a bit.
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
November 21, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Gabe Evans talks a lot about his former life as a police officer (see below). However - we know from past reporting that he has embellished his past quite a bit.
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
Maybe some our CO news organizations can dig into his record as a cop to see how much of what he says is actually true.
#GabeEvans
#CO08
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
The President of the United States just called for my arrest and execution.
In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:
In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:
November 20, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The President of the United States just called for my arrest and execution.
In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:
In these moments, fear is contagious, but so is courage:
Gabe Evans on his vote to have DOJ release the Epstein files.
Sounds great - until you think about how he didn’t sign on to the discharge petition until AFTER the shutdown and AFTER Trump allowed Republicans to do so.
Not exactly a profile in courage, is it???
Moo!
#copolitics
#CO08
NOCO
Sounds great - until you think about how he didn’t sign on to the discharge petition until AFTER the shutdown and AFTER Trump allowed Republicans to do so.
Not exactly a profile in courage, is it???
Moo!
#copolitics
#CO08
NOCO
November 20, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Gabe Evans on his vote to have DOJ release the Epstein files.
Sounds great - until you think about how he didn’t sign on to the discharge petition until AFTER the shutdown and AFTER Trump allowed Republicans to do so.
Not exactly a profile in courage, is it???
Moo!
#copolitics
#CO08
NOCO
Sounds great - until you think about how he didn’t sign on to the discharge petition until AFTER the shutdown and AFTER Trump allowed Republicans to do so.
Not exactly a profile in courage, is it???
Moo!
#copolitics
#CO08
NOCO
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
The liar Rep. Gabe Evans has got kids - "...they're hungry", but works to make sure other kids go hungry by witholding SNAP benefits.
November 18, 2025 at 3:02 PM
The liar Rep. Gabe Evans has got kids - "...they're hungry", but works to make sure other kids go hungry by witholding SNAP benefits.
Polis to Gabe Evans - “But keep doing you and voting to take health care away from Coloradans”
OUCH!
I don’t think I’ve seen this level of fire from @colorado.gov before - I like it!
Double Moo! for that one Guv’na
#GabeEvans
#copolitics
#CO08
Greeley
OUCH!
I don’t think I’ve seen this level of fire from @colorado.gov before - I like it!
Double Moo! for that one Guv’na
#GabeEvans
#copolitics
#CO08
Greeley
When Gabe Evans and Ann Coulter recycle the same talking points, you know it’s off. The seized records they’re politicizing? Part of an ongoing DEA & CBI investigation — suspects identified, case moving forward.
November 20, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Polis to Gabe Evans - “But keep doing you and voting to take health care away from Coloradans”
OUCH!
I don’t think I’ve seen this level of fire from @colorado.gov before - I like it!
Double Moo! for that one Guv’na
#GabeEvans
#copolitics
#CO08
Greeley
OUCH!
I don’t think I’ve seen this level of fire from @colorado.gov before - I like it!
Double Moo! for that one Guv’na
#GabeEvans
#copolitics
#CO08
Greeley
That is correct, Stan. I have to admit - I’m rooting for whoever the Democratic nominee turns out to be.
Cows are typically very loyal beings - but in this case, I’ll make an exception.
Moo!
#GabeEvans
#CO-08
Greeley
#copolitics
Cows are typically very loyal beings - but in this case, I’ll make an exception.
Moo!
#GabeEvans
#CO-08
Greeley
#copolitics
Ready to lose your 1 term seat Gabe? Your cow doesn't care.
completecolorado.com/2025/06/19/d...
completecolorado.com/2025/06/19/d...
Democrats line up against Rep. Gabe Evans in 'toss-up' CD8 - Complete Colorado
The GOP-held "toss-up" seat is a key race for Democrats in the 2026 mid-term election.
completecolorado.com
November 19, 2025 at 11:52 PM
That is correct, Stan. I have to admit - I’m rooting for whoever the Democratic nominee turns out to be.
Cows are typically very loyal beings - but in this case, I’ll make an exception.
Moo!
#GabeEvans
#CO-08
Greeley
#copolitics
Cows are typically very loyal beings - but in this case, I’ll make an exception.
Moo!
#GabeEvans
#CO-08
Greeley
#copolitics
November 18, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Cows (like me) have only have one stomach, however, that stomach is divided into 4 compartments: rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum.
I just threw up from all four compartments.
That's just gross. Accurate - but gross...
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
I just threw up from all four compartments.
That's just gross. Accurate - but gross...
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
November 18, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Cows (like me) have only have one stomach, however, that stomach is divided into 4 compartments: rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasum.
I just threw up from all four compartments.
That's just gross. Accurate - but gross...
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
I just threw up from all four compartments.
That's just gross. Accurate - but gross...
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
November 5, 2025 at 8:40 AM
I've known several pigs during my time in the barnyard and they are generally very nice.
However, that nasty pig below is giving all pigs a bad name.
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
However, that nasty pig below is giving all pigs a bad name.
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
![Cover image from April 2–15, 2018 edition of NEW YORK magazine:
[photograph of a maniacally grinning squinty-eyed Trump altered to add a pig’s nose]
Not
Incompetence…
Not Cruelty...
It's the
Corruption
Stupid.
Why His Self-Dealing Is His Biggest Political Liability](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:gvda6fem6r7selm4gzjjww4a/bafkreiarjfgunlo3pl27g5ijkhnmdih6k3pdutyjofhqmn33ncrjuw5cku@jpeg)
November 18, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I've known several pigs during my time in the barnyard and they are generally very nice.
However, that nasty pig below is giving all pigs a bad name.
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
However, that nasty pig below is giving all pigs a bad name.
Moo!
#PiggyTrump
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
Loved joining a bipartisan panel of legislators with the CO Solar & Storage Assoc.
We need cheap, reliable energy, but Gabe Evans voted to take a wrecking ball to #CO08's clean energy sector – killing jobs & risking higher utility bills.
I"ll always protect jobs & work to lower utility costs.
We need cheap, reliable energy, but Gabe Evans voted to take a wrecking ball to #CO08's clean energy sector – killing jobs & risking higher utility bills.
I"ll always protect jobs & work to lower utility costs.
November 16, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Loved joining a bipartisan panel of legislators with the CO Solar & Storage Assoc.
We need cheap, reliable energy, but Gabe Evans voted to take a wrecking ball to #CO08's clean energy sector – killing jobs & risking higher utility bills.
I"ll always protect jobs & work to lower utility costs.
We need cheap, reliable energy, but Gabe Evans voted to take a wrecking ball to #CO08's clean energy sector – killing jobs & risking higher utility bills.
I"ll always protect jobs & work to lower utility costs.
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
Gabe Evans makes @theonion.com - Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption — theonion.com/freshman-con...
Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption
WASHINGTON—Marveling at the childlike innocence and naïveté on display from their first-term colleague, members of the U.S. House of Representatives confirmed Wednesday that freshman congressman Gabe ...
theonion.com
September 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Gabe Evans makes @theonion.com - Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption — theonion.com/freshman-con...
Yes - where are you Gabe? My stall in the barn needs to be mucked out.
I'm used to being knee-deep in bullshit when you're around - but not my own.
Moo!
I'm used to being knee-deep in bullshit when you're around - but not my own.
Moo!
November 18, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Yes - where are you Gabe? My stall in the barn needs to be mucked out.
I'm used to being knee-deep in bullshit when you're around - but not my own.
Moo!
I'm used to being knee-deep in bullshit when you're around - but not my own.
Moo!
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
Hey! That's one of my ex-girlfriends.
Well - this is awkward....
Hey girl - if you find your way up near Gabe Evans' ranchette in Fort Lupton - you know.... call me...
Moo!
NOCO
Well - this is awkward....
Hey girl - if you find your way up near Gabe Evans' ranchette in Fort Lupton - you know.... call me...
Moo!
NOCO
Scott Bessent doesn’t know how agricultural import works and no one is herding cattle across the bor— my bad. Just received this raw footage of ICE preparing to apprehend the allusive, undocumented moo.
November 18, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Hey! That's one of my ex-girlfriends.
Well - this is awkward....
Hey girl - if you find your way up near Gabe Evans' ranchette in Fort Lupton - you know.... call me...
Moo!
NOCO
Well - this is awkward....
Hey girl - if you find your way up near Gabe Evans' ranchette in Fort Lupton - you know.... call me...
Moo!
NOCO
As Gabe Evans' cow - I can tell you that he doesn't care about healthcare for hard-working Coloradans - he's got his fancy Congressional health insurance.
He makes me pay my own veterinary bills - why do you think I'm moooonlighting???
Moodicare for All!
NOCO
#copolitics
@indivisiblenoco.com
He makes me pay my own veterinary bills - why do you think I'm moooonlighting???
Moodicare for All!
NOCO
#copolitics
@indivisiblenoco.com
None of Colorado’s four GOP members of Congress has signed a petition, launched by House Democrats, to force a vote on extending the Obamacare tax credits, which would prevent tens of thousands of Coloradans from losing their health insurance. coloradotimesrecorder.com/2025/11/no-c...
No Colorado Republicans in Congress Sign Petition To Force Vote On Obamacare Funding
None of Colorado’s four Republican members of Congress has signed a petition, launched by House Democrats, to force a vote on extending the Affordable Care Act (ACA) tax credits, which would...
coloradotimesrecorder.com
November 17, 2025 at 8:52 PM
As Gabe Evans' cow - I can tell you that he doesn't care about healthcare for hard-working Coloradans - he's got his fancy Congressional health insurance.
He makes me pay my own veterinary bills - why do you think I'm moooonlighting???
Moodicare for All!
NOCO
#copolitics
@indivisiblenoco.com
He makes me pay my own veterinary bills - why do you think I'm moooonlighting???
Moodicare for All!
NOCO
#copolitics
@indivisiblenoco.com
So I guess all I am to Gabe Evans is a "hobby". Sheesh...
Sorry to hear that Daddy Gabe is soooo poor. Probably that big, expensive, gas-guzzling truck he drives around.
It ain't me - all I get is hay.
Moo!
Greeley
#copolitics
@twni-indivisible.bsky.social
@greeleyweldindiv.bsky.social
Sorry to hear that Daddy Gabe is soooo poor. Probably that big, expensive, gas-guzzling truck he drives around.
It ain't me - all I get is hay.
Moo!
Greeley
#copolitics
@twni-indivisible.bsky.social
@greeleyweldindiv.bsky.social
Gabe Evans is just like you...if you make $174,000 per year. #copolitics www.coloradopols.com/diary/218490...
Gabe Evans Definitely Doesn't Feel Your Pain | Colorado Pols
It's the economy, stupid. That infamous line from Bill Clinton's 1992 Presidential campaign is as relevant today as it was more than 30 years ago. As Seth Klamann reports for The Denver Post, the econ...
www.coloradopols.com
November 17, 2025 at 8:42 PM
So I guess all I am to Gabe Evans is a "hobby". Sheesh...
Sorry to hear that Daddy Gabe is soooo poor. Probably that big, expensive, gas-guzzling truck he drives around.
It ain't me - all I get is hay.
Moo!
Greeley
#copolitics
@twni-indivisible.bsky.social
@greeleyweldindiv.bsky.social
Sorry to hear that Daddy Gabe is soooo poor. Probably that big, expensive, gas-guzzling truck he drives around.
It ain't me - all I get is hay.
Moo!
Greeley
#copolitics
@twni-indivisible.bsky.social
@greeleyweldindiv.bsky.social
It is true @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social - I am an ILLEGAL COW.
Here is my story:
bsky.app/profile/gabe...
I have also been taking Moodicaid benefits away from white American cows…
Sincerely,
Gabe Evans’ Cow
Moo!
Here is my story:
bsky.app/profile/gabe...
I have also been taking Moodicaid benefits away from white American cows…
Sincerely,
Gabe Evans’ Cow
Moo!
I knew they blamed immigrants for everything, but I didn’t think they would blame immigrant cows for hamburger prices.
November 17, 2025 at 2:12 PM
It is true @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social - I am an ILLEGAL COW.
Here is my story:
bsky.app/profile/gabe...
I have also been taking Moodicaid benefits away from white American cows…
Sincerely,
Gabe Evans’ Cow
Moo!
Here is my story:
bsky.app/profile/gabe...
I have also been taking Moodicaid benefits away from white American cows…
Sincerely,
Gabe Evans’ Cow
Moo!
OK - you got me Secretary Bessent - I am an ILLEGAL COW.
I made the arduous journey across the Sonoran desert w/ my parents and siblings (two did not make it and ended up as Taco Bell meat filling). We then swam across the Rio Grande under the cover of darkness….
@treasurydept.bsky.social
1/2
I made the arduous journey across the Sonoran desert w/ my parents and siblings (two did not make it and ended up as Taco Bell meat filling). We then swam across the Rio Grande under the cover of darkness….
@treasurydept.bsky.social
1/2
This man went to Yale and spent 40 years at the highest levels on Wall Street. And now he's talking about migrants bringing fictional cattle with them across the border. There truly is no lie too absurd or ridiculous for this regime
November 17, 2025 at 5:28 AM
OK - you got me Secretary Bessent - I am an ILLEGAL COW.
I made the arduous journey across the Sonoran desert w/ my parents and siblings (two did not make it and ended up as Taco Bell meat filling). We then swam across the Rio Grande under the cover of darkness….
@treasurydept.bsky.social
1/2
I made the arduous journey across the Sonoran desert w/ my parents and siblings (two did not make it and ended up as Taco Bell meat filling). We then swam across the Rio Grande under the cover of darkness….
@treasurydept.bsky.social
1/2
Apparently, “Bovino” is Italian for “cow”.
What is the Italian word for “pathetic little incel douchebag”?
Asking on behalf of cows everywhere.
Moo!
What is the Italian word for “pathetic little incel douchebag”?
Asking on behalf of cows everywhere.
Moo!
Bovino’s rant fits the authoritarian indicators in our assessment: empowered security forces acting with impunity, militarized immigration raids, executive overreach through federalized enforcement, and loyalty-driven ops unmoored from oversight. His tone isn’t an outlier but a symptom.
November 17, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Apparently, “Bovino” is Italian for “cow”.
What is the Italian word for “pathetic little incel douchebag”?
Asking on behalf of cows everywhere.
Moo!
What is the Italian word for “pathetic little incel douchebag”?
Asking on behalf of cows everywhere.
Moo!
@michaelfanone.bsky.social on Border Patrol boss Greg Bovino: "He's a very sadistic individual that clearly revels and takes joy in the pain and suffering of others. So I look forward to some accountability when it comes to Bovino and seeing that guy on the other side of jail cell bars."
November 17, 2025 at 12:09 AM
So - “Bovino” is Italian for “cow”. I think I speak for all cows when I say he is a disgrace to the name and that we do not claim him.
MOO!
MOO!
Border Patrol chief Greg Bovino responds “roger that” to a tweet reading “big or small, deport them all.”
November 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
So - “Bovino” is Italian for “cow”. I think I speak for all cows when I say he is a disgrace to the name and that we do not claim him.
MOO!
MOO!
Reposted by Gabe Evans' Cow
NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
November 16, 2025 at 11:43 PM
NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
I almost spit out my cud when I saw this!
Moo!
Moo!
She even gave us one to take home in case we run into Jeff Hurd, Jeff Crank, or Gabe Evans
November 15, 2025 at 4:52 AM
I almost spit out my cud when I saw this!
Moo!
Moo!