@functionjustin.bsky.social
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Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
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any Democrat who isn’t cheering Mamdani’s blowout from the roofs right now is a snake and dangerous to any resistance movement against the active fascist era (which they are largely responsible for creating in the first place!)
November 6, 2025 at 11:36 AM
any Democrat who isn’t cheering Mamdani’s blowout from the roofs right now is a snake and dangerous to any resistance movement against the active fascist era (which they are largely responsible for creating in the first place!)
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Waiting for MrBeast to make the 100 men vs 1 gorilla fight a reality.
April 28, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Waiting for MrBeast to make the 100 men vs 1 gorilla fight a reality.
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How academics imagine their lives would look like if they decide to work in tech
April 11, 2025 at 7:15 PM
How academics imagine their lives would look like if they decide to work in tech
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Idaho Bans Truck Nuts
April 10, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Idaho Bans Truck Nuts
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I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
April 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
Just lost $300 betting the over on the cointoss. Smh
February 9, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Just lost $300 betting the over on the cointoss. Smh
The dog whistles are getting louder. Do you hear them?
January 22, 2025 at 4:31 PM
The dog whistles are getting louder. Do you hear them?
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elon is 100% doing a nazi salute but i just realized the awkward way he jerks his body to the side while he does it makes it look like he's attempting a single-armed dab
For all the doubters, how are these not the same?
January 21, 2025 at 5:08 PM
elon is 100% doing a nazi salute but i just realized the awkward way he jerks his body to the side while he does it makes it look like he's attempting a single-armed dab
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looking at the TikTok app now after that entire stunt
January 19, 2025 at 7:54 PM
looking at the TikTok app now after that entire stunt
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Heartbreaking day for me. It turns out a different Sam Alito has been reading my Pornhub essays.
January 16, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Heartbreaking day for me. It turns out a different Sam Alito has been reading my Pornhub essays.
Where you at @playbalatro.com ?
My astrological belief is that your personality is determined by the solitaire deck you always picked.
January 15, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Where you at @playbalatro.com ?
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“the hawk tuah girl has been milkshake ducked by her memecoin” i say as the neurologist schedules me for an emergency MRI
December 20, 2024 at 7:50 PM
“the hawk tuah girl has been milkshake ducked by her memecoin” i say as the neurologist schedules me for an emergency MRI
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This is a real tweet by the Democratic Party and I can’t help but wonder where this energy has been for the past 6 months
December 20, 2024 at 7:42 PM
This is a real tweet by the Democratic Party and I can’t help but wonder where this energy has been for the past 6 months
BlueSky would be a lot funner with a laugh react (genuine) and a laugh react (mocking)
December 16, 2024 at 3:27 PM
BlueSky would be a lot funner with a laugh react (genuine) and a laugh react (mocking)
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Normalize using the word “oligarchy” 🇺🇸
December 14, 2024 at 7:52 PM
Normalize using the word “oligarchy” 🇺🇸