Time is a flat circle

why always with the waking up

Day 1 of marriage: till death do us part

Day 1,385 of marriage: you’re chewing like that on purpose, aren’t you?

I’m not anti-science but let’s be honest: it’s kind of bullshit that planes work. Seems like a scam.

How I sit waiting for you to realise you’ve been poisoned

A reminder to please always add alt text to images as a service to users like me who can’t recognise any celebrity who became famous in the last ten years

Happy International Women’s Day to the most international woman of all: the woman trapped on the International Space Station

eggs?? oh you mean large caviar

Girl opposite me on the ward has just got ice cream, didn’t know this was an option, can’t ask for ice cream now as it’ll seem like I’m copying her, doing the ol’ “I’ll Have What She’s Having”…but tomorrow

the most surprising and disappointing aspect of becoming a global health philanthropist is the existence of an opposition team

“I really think feelings have started to develop for you when it comes to me” is a real sentence I just heard someone say on Love Is Blind Minneapolis

“Yr greed diminishes you and yr soul reeks of ruin” is a thing I have probably said in a negotiation and also I am pretty sure is from some old Greek magic book.

So proud of this hand embroidered bouquet 💐
#embroidery #artist #art