corwyx
@corwyx.bsky.social
Reposted by corwyx
looking my waiter right in the eyes and asking for my shrimp cocktail blended instead of on the rocks
June 21, 2025 at 6:17 PM
looking my waiter right in the eyes and asking for my shrimp cocktail blended instead of on the rocks
Reposted by corwyx
yall are never gonna believe what baby powder isn’t made of
June 18, 2025 at 1:48 AM
yall are never gonna believe what baby powder isn’t made of
Reposted by corwyx
dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers
June 11, 2025 at 12:53 PM
dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers
Reposted by corwyx
Haven’t seen the Pope since the Easter egg hunt. Hope everything is okay.
May 1, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Haven’t seen the Pope since the Easter egg hunt. Hope everything is okay.
Reposted by corwyx
kinda suspicious that all the popes have died
April 23, 2025 at 8:41 PM
kinda suspicious that all the popes have died
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Fitness videos can never be like ‘hey look at this cool thing your body can do’ they have to be like optimize your mind 👁️ become an elite alpha version of you 📈📈 force your wife to return with the kids 🧑🧑🧒🧒 by learning these push ups
April 17, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Fitness videos can never be like ‘hey look at this cool thing your body can do’ they have to be like optimize your mind 👁️ become an elite alpha version of you 📈📈 force your wife to return with the kids 🧑🧑🧒🧒 by learning these push ups
Reposted by corwyx
If Martians land, and they want to meet our leader, let’s just pretend it’s Morgan Freeman. Agreed?
April 11, 2025 at 8:05 PM
If Martians land, and they want to meet our leader, let’s just pretend it’s Morgan Freeman. Agreed?
Thread by a talented artist.
April 11, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Thread by a talented artist.
Reposted by corwyx
[restaurant]
me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry
her: ok
waiter: good evening
me: good evening Barry
me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry
her: ok
waiter: good evening
me: good evening Barry
February 5, 2025 at 7:33 PM
[restaurant]
me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry
her: ok
waiter: good evening
me: good evening Barry
me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry
her: ok
waiter: good evening
me: good evening Barry
Reposted by corwyx
I just used a bidet for the first time and, honestly, the water tastes no different.
March 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I just used a bidet for the first time and, honestly, the water tastes no different.
Reposted by corwyx
Reposted by corwyx
It seem insane for a US Senator to say we've all been subjected to "a relentless bombardment of Marxist propaganda." But what he means by this is 1) there was a Burger King ad with an interracial couple and 2) Star Wars Episodes VII-IX had a female lead.
March 21, 2025 at 1:13 PM
It seem insane for a US Senator to say we've all been subjected to "a relentless bombardment of Marxist propaganda." But what he means by this is 1) there was a Burger King ad with an interracial couple and 2) Star Wars Episodes VII-IX had a female lead.
gotta respect the commitment to the bit
I love the ways in which I inspire people
every day i eat like 4 handfuls of these and i say to myself "gettin my macros like @roy-a.bsky.social" and do a happy little head bop and then i remember that i am nottttttt tracking macros 😅🫠
March 23, 2025 at 7:29 PM
gotta respect the commitment to the bit
a *chef's kiss* mix of plausibility, ironic pseudoscience, and toxic masculinity
58 grams is the alpha male amount of cheez-its to eat. Any more or any less is for beta cucks
March 23, 2025 at 7:28 PM
a *chef's kiss* mix of plausibility, ironic pseudoscience, and toxic masculinity
Reposted by corwyx
Who up existentialing their crisis?
March 9, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Who up existentialing their crisis?
Reposted by corwyx
Establishing dominance by telling my dentist to spit before he tells me
March 7, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Establishing dominance by telling my dentist to spit before he tells me
Reposted by corwyx
My enemies never see me coming because I stayed home
March 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
My enemies never see me coming because I stayed home
Happy 100th birthday to the wonderful Edward Gorey whose dark and witty art always makes me smile.
February 23, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Happy 100th birthday to the wonderful Edward Gorey whose dark and witty art always makes me smile.
pretty sure we know now
something I’ve been thinking about…
a meme coin does not shoot up to 32b valuation with just the support of trump sycophants
trump sold us out to someone somewhere and we will find out in a month
a meme coin does not shoot up to 32b valuation with just the support of trump sycophants
trump sold us out to someone somewhere and we will find out in a month
February 20, 2025 at 2:37 AM
pretty sure we know now
Reposted by corwyx
why are they called porn bots and not intrusive thots
January 7, 2025 at 8:02 PM
why are they called porn bots and not intrusive thots
Reposted by corwyx
Most things in life will be OK if you just forget about them and lie on the ground
December 24, 2024 at 6:14 PM
Most things in life will be OK if you just forget about them and lie on the ground