🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
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cashncandi.bsky.social
🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
@cashncandi.bsky.social
-Queer and still here
-so sheltered growing up that I sound like a millennial but I’m only 22 istg
-neurodivergent and maybe a little silly
-he/they with a hint of slay
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Boy are you day-old lunch meat? Because you’re kinda slimy and likely inbread
December 19, 2024 at 1:04 PM
unfortunately Imagine Dragons is my guilty pleasure and I understand why people judge me for that
December 19, 2024 at 7:02 PM
but I think this is why passive suicidal ideation is so common among religious people or formerly religious people. cus we were always taught that things get better after we pass. and then hyper-religious people get upset when their children are depressed😭
I love how all gospel songs are just like “yeah life is tough but one day it won’t be…when I die” LMAOOOOOOO
December 18, 2024 at 5:06 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
I was vegan quite literally my entire life until last summer when I started eating chicken and fish for health reasons. I had my first drumstick a week ago and now all I can think of is drumsticks and how badly I want to eat 100 of them. It’s 1am and I’m up thinking abt chicken drumsticks
December 18, 2024 at 9:11 AM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Mrs. Claus: You know, we've been married over 200 years now, and I think it would be fun to spice things up with--

Santa Claus: DAMMIT, WE'RE NOT HAVING A THREESOME WITH THE KRAMPUS
December 18, 2024 at 3:25 PM
people say I was never a Christian in the first place simply because I don’t believe in God anymore and sometimes I wonder if they’re right. not because I feel guilty about it, I just remember being told about heaven when I was little and thinking “man that sounds ASS I don’t wanna do that”
December 18, 2024 at 4:59 PM
i wanna beat up my old man bones fr why you gotta be like that bro come on
December 18, 2024 at 4:57 AM
im watching the yearly Smosh crew gauntlet tntl and I caught myself applauding at the crew the same way the cast was is this normal
December 17, 2024 at 9:10 PM
these Gemini ads make me want to kill god. but so do a lot of things I guess. killing god is awesome. anyway the point is I’m mad, youtube stop showing me Gemini ads
December 17, 2024 at 9:06 PM
for goodness sake? who tf is “goodness”? do I know that bitch?
December 17, 2024 at 3:41 PM
this is me at 22
old man knee content
December 16, 2024 at 6:24 PM
gifts ideas for my father this year:
December 16, 2024 at 6:22 PM
my cat just laid the stinkiest shit like girl I love you but godDAMN I’ve been up since 4:30am why
December 16, 2024 at 2:27 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Before you judge a disabled person for the way they’re coping with the messiness of life …consider the sickest you ever were. Maybe it was a flu or an infection thst required surgery

Try and remember the pain, fatigue & crushing monotony of it

Now imagine knowing it would never end. Then be kinder
December 16, 2024 at 8:35 AM
guys I don’t wanna watch die hard for Christmas I’ve never seen it and I still don’t wanna
December 16, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
[Justice League pulling Batman aside to express concern over some of the YouTube videos Robin has been watching]
December 14, 2024 at 7:15 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Me on an hourly basis
December 16, 2024 at 7:52 AM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Josh Shapiro called the McDonald’s employee who reported Luigi Mangione a “hero.”

She will NOT get the $10,000 reward money because she called 911 instead of the tip line.

By the way, Josh Shapiro got $15,000 in donations from United Healthcare last year.

Numbers are fun.
December 16, 2024 at 12:41 AM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
December 15, 2024 at 12:48 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
soulja boy saying YOOOOOOOOUUUU gives me more energy than any stimulant the soviets could invent
December 15, 2024 at 1:43 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
“Chappell Roan” sounds like a Hallmark Christmas special about a young girl and her best friend, a shy filly.
December 16, 2024 at 12:35 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion
of combining plant and human DNA to create
a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up
the grounds they found human romaines.
December 15, 2024 at 6:42 AM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Healthcare Snark
December 16, 2024 at 9:14 AM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
Anyone else tired of hitting the “skip intro” button watching a TV show and then you’re still stuck watching 10-20 seconds of the opening credits you wanted to skip?

Skip should mean skip all of it.
December 15, 2024 at 9:19 PM
Reposted by 🏳️‍⚧️CandiTime
I like big butts. But I can lie about it. Where are the songs about people like us?
December 16, 2024 at 12:03 PM