alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
Pinned
alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
· Oct 10
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
Reposted by alber
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
November 10, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Bluesky should have polls but you can set them up where all the people who choose one answer get blocked.
Reposted by alber
when I know I’m finally going to die, I’m going to create a bot that posts like me so that I never have to shut the fuck up, even in death
I will torment all of you forever
I will torment all of you forever
November 11, 2025 at 3:44 AM
when I know I’m finally going to die, I’m going to create a bot that posts like me so that I never have to shut the fuck up, even in death
I will torment all of you forever
I will torment all of you forever
they should put little fortunes in the crab rangoon
November 11, 2025 at 3:59 AM
they should put little fortunes in the crab rangoon
Reposted by alber
[after watching Devil Wears Prada for the 89th time]
wow, what a film
wow, what a film
November 11, 2025 at 3:06 AM
[after watching Devil Wears Prada for the 89th time]
wow, what a film
wow, what a film
don’t ever “fyi” or “just so you know” me. i come on the internet website specifically to be a dipshit and my personal philosophy is to never learn anything. u are violating my rights btw
November 11, 2025 at 2:55 AM
don’t ever “fyi” or “just so you know” me. i come on the internet website specifically to be a dipshit and my personal philosophy is to never learn anything. u are violating my rights btw
Reposted by alber
MR GORBACHEV, how are you today? doing alright? just checking because it’s actually a little hard to hear you over this fucking wall
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
MR GORBACHEV, how are you today? doing alright? just checking because it’s actually a little hard to hear you over this fucking wall
Reposted by alber
every since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to be in a starter pack
November 10, 2025 at 4:10 PM
every since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to be in a starter pack
Reposted by alber
> pays off car after years
> credit score goes down
> most rational economic system ever
> credit score goes down
> most rational economic system ever
November 10, 2025 at 5:09 PM
> pays off car after years
> credit score goes down
> most rational economic system ever
> credit score goes down
> most rational economic system ever
MR GORBACHEV, how are you today? doing alright? just checking because it’s actually a little hard to hear you over this fucking wall
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
MR GORBACHEV, how are you today? doing alright? just checking because it’s actually a little hard to hear you over this fucking wall
every since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to be in a starter pack
November 10, 2025 at 4:10 PM
every since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to be in a starter pack
Reposted by alber
warby parker sounds like an asshole kid at a boarding school
November 9, 2025 at 6:39 PM
warby parker sounds like an asshole kid at a boarding school
Reposted by alber
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
November 10, 2025 at 3:21 PM
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
Reposted by alber
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
Reposted by alber
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
November 3, 2025 at 9:42 PM
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
got kicked out of the coffee shop for saying “ipso facto” instead of “yes” when the barista confirmed my order
November 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
got kicked out of the coffee shop for saying “ipso facto” instead of “yes” when the barista confirmed my order
Reposted by alber
Oh you thought I didn't have more? There are at least 1k hilarious accts on this app and I know all their middle names, okay?
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Oh you thought I didn't have more? There are at least 1k hilarious accts on this app and I know all their middle names, okay?
Reposted by alber
If you're not on that first one, don't be cry. I'm making three and it's really difficult finding all my people at 6 am. Here's list two. Some of my best friends aren't on either of these and I know it. Hang in there, it's coming
go.bsky.app/3KzRR2m
go.bsky.app/3KzRR2m
November 10, 2025 at 12:44 PM
If you're not on that first one, don't be cry. I'm making three and it's really difficult finding all my people at 6 am. Here's list two. Some of my best friends aren't on either of these and I know it. Hang in there, it's coming
go.bsky.app/3KzRR2m
go.bsky.app/3KzRR2m
Reposted by alber
Hey Friends, if you're looking for comedy, I've got you covered
November 10, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Hey Friends, if you're looking for comedy, I've got you covered
Reposted by alber
man sometimes we do open this app at very particular moments on the skyline
i need my godshaped hole stretched out and gaped tbh
November 10, 2025 at 5:56 AM
man sometimes we do open this app at very particular moments on the skyline
more like CUCK schumer amirite lol gottem 🤣🤣🤣
November 10, 2025 at 5:18 AM
more like CUCK schumer amirite lol gottem 🤣🤣🤣
Reposted by alber
the best skeet you'll ever think of is gonna receive 12 likes and 1 RT, and you need to be okay with that if you want to make it in this business
November 9, 2025 at 2:08 AM
the best skeet you'll ever think of is gonna receive 12 likes and 1 RT, and you need to be okay with that if you want to make it in this business
Reposted by alber
Life may be fucked in many ways but at least we get a new Vince Gilligan show
November 10, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Life may be fucked in many ways but at least we get a new Vince Gilligan show
Reposted by alber
not trying to be funny not trying to get a laugh but do any of these…fuckers…ever just keel over and die?
February 12, 2025 at 1:57 PM
not trying to be funny not trying to get a laugh but do any of these…fuckers…ever just keel over and die?
Reposted by alber
taking a big sip from my “stay strong democrats” mug and checking up on congressional news
November 10, 2025 at 2:13 AM
taking a big sip from my “stay strong democrats” mug and checking up on congressional news
i will be posting for 25 hours straight (a world record btw) in protest of the democratic cave in
November 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
i will be posting for 25 hours straight (a world record btw) in protest of the democratic cave in