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captainacab.airbud.website
alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
21K followers 880 following 21K posts
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him

CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
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captainacab.airbud.website
i fucking love this place i’ll never leave
a post by me: just a little PSA with the new update of bluesky rolling out: i come from a long line of draft dodgers and i i tend to carry that legacy forward a very serious reply: Why do you say that like it's a good thing? What HAVE you done for your country? Is there nothing about your life for which you appreciate the service and sacrifices made by millions of your fellow Americans to ensure your continued freedoms, a "burden" you apparently take pride in dodging? SMH
February 10, 2026 at 12:16 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
watching the biathlon like
tim robinson in i think you should leave, the scene where he had a job interview and is trying to leave by pulling the door but the hiring manager says “it’s a push” but tim doesn’t want to be embarrassed so he shows that it can go both ways by ripping the door of the hinges. he’s staring back at the hiring manager with spittle running down his chin from the effort
February 7, 2026 at 5:33 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
holy shit
jeff “kid rock” foxworthy with a mustache telling a joke about rednecks probably kid “jeff foxworthy” rock wearing a cowboy hat and having a mustache. singing about statutory rape probably. the thing is, both of these guys look fucking identical. like they are probably the same exact person
February 5, 2026 at 11:41 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
donald trump:
tim robinson in i think you should leave in the scene where he is getting mad at a guy in his friend club because he is eating burger and fries, and he farts a nasty fart and then says It's okay. It's okay. You're okay. Everyone farts. It's just when I slammed my two hands down, I squoze and I sharted. You're okay. You'll be fine.
February 2, 2026 at 1:41 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
you know it smell crazy in there
a woman in green behind donald trump, who just shit his pants, she’s discretely but not discretely at all covering her nose because of the stench
February 1, 2026 at 8:59 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
i saw jimmy neutron him self walking out infront of me at shmorgasborg at the Markets at The Grove. he was buying a hot dog. jimmy neutron is alive! jimmy lives!
jimmy neutron (famously a head that looks like a 3D number 8, exactly like the dipshit ice agent in the photo of the quoted post)
January 30, 2026 at 5:22 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
this is the true meaning of friendship
a children’s book (poky little puppy), where poky is talking to herman the skunk he just met. poky says “you smell funny” herman says “you smell funny too” and then says “Let’s play!”
January 30, 2026 at 1:25 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
ben from the show ozarks, he is delivering an all time monologue to a guy driving a taxi and at this point he’s talking about shrek and saying “he’s just a guy he’s just a guy”
January 29, 2026 at 3:07 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
there’s a shrek for every occasion
January 27, 2026 at 1:25 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
i’m not gonna say what it is
tim robinson in i think you should leave, the carber vac episode where he sells the hotdog vacuum that can suck a hot dog out of your throat if you are in a meeting and the boss moved lunch which shouldn’t be allowed so you tried to eat your hot dog secretly and accidentally inhaled it
January 26, 2026 at 4:27 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
anyone remember when joel berry thought he was gonna go undercover as a liberal on bluesky? lmao
joel berry posting on twitter screenshotting a couple posts he made on bluesky back when he thought he was gonna get a huge following on bluesky by posting like a liberal but he isn’t funny or clever enough to even do that so he got no engagement and everyone knew what he was doing and called him on it and then he pretended like he was just joking but as mentioned, he’s not funny so no one believed he knew what a joke was
January 25, 2026 at 9:33 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
my son wants the balatro heads to see this
a coloring page of all sorts of jokers and symbols from balatro colored in
January 24, 2026 at 4:47 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
computer, enhance
a sign in the sea of protesters that reads “micro penis” and the I.C.E are in red
January 23, 2026 at 10:29 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
in america, universities can sue you if you don’t want to throw a leather ball for them anymore
Duke University sued quarterback Darian Mensah on Tuesday, and a judge denied a request for a temporary restraining order that would have prevented him from entering the transfer portal.
January 20, 2026 at 9:42 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
most people: today we remember the tragedy of martin luther king jrs assassination. he was a prophet, a hero who stood against the regime, and that’s why the FBI couldn’t let him live

no one:

lebron james: damn that hotel got a fire colorway tho
an announcement “NIKE AND LEBRON JAMES REMEMBER MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.” and it’s a lebron signature shoe with colors that match the sign of the hotel mlk was murdered at. every day we stray further from the divine light
January 19, 2026 at 7:59 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
*bipartisanship* *infinity bill* *mantle of kente* *filibuster for 24 hours* *democracy* *greater blue shield* *draconic vote* *bless of magic vote caster* *blue ward, money* *fund essence* *freedom* *greater resistance* *concession boost* *triplet maximize vote, explode minds* *kente cloth upgrade*
ainz-sama from overlord going through his typical democratic buff routine before appearing in congress to save the constitution
January 19, 2026 at 3:36 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
donald grabbing the award like
donald trump with a look on his face like he’s 12 years old and just got caught grabbing a porno mag from his dads secret stash
January 15, 2026 at 11:20 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
society once enspongebobification is complete
it’s bikini bottom from spongebob squarepants
January 14, 2026 at 10:23 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
trump dancing in front of a wall of red showing the stock market crashing the hell out. there’s also a fibonacci spiral drawn on the stocks, because this is important
January 12, 2026 at 2:08 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
the famous “officer down” meme
January 11, 2026 at 6:29 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
perusing the ancient artifacts
a notification informing me that “what’s mid” has reposted my post what is the post? something equally arcane “he’s a 10 but won’t accept your invite code to bluesky”
January 10, 2026 at 1:14 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
here, you can see agent Jonathan Ross having a great time with his family
a white man on a jet ski just having a great time with his wife and child also on the jet ski. this man couldn’t murder someone in cold blood, could he?
January 9, 2026 at 3:29 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
the prophecy
two bluesky accounts on my timeline making an identical post that says “DOINK”
January 9, 2026 at 3:02 AM
captainacab.airbud.website
me asking my new ai waifu companion if i should make one or two pieces of toast
don draper in the show black mirror, the episode where the woman’s consciousness has been uploaded into a little egg computer thing and she’s trapped in there permanently
January 6, 2026 at 10:55 PM
captainacab.airbud.website
i once asked kevin kruse how many of his publications were his own original thoughts rather than plagiarized and he quote skeeted me. putting me on the list blocked list for about a day or so
a bluesky interaction between me and the critically acclaimed (plagiarizing) historian kevin kruse. kevin: Say what you will, but Bluesky has the purest bullies of any social media site. me: didn't you plagiarize like your entire body of work?
January 6, 2026 at 3:13 AM