Roast TurkBrie 🍗
banner
briesmith.xyz
Roast TurkBrie 🍗
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn

Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout

Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:

wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
Cade Cunningham last night: 46 points, 12 rebounds, 11 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocks… on 14-45 shooting (2-11 from 3) and 16-18 FTs

Allen Iverson volume chucking
November 11, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Reposted by Roast TurkBrie 🍗
Big mood today (and everyday really)

L’s down forever
November 11, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Chris Cuomo as Cesar Romero in “The Making of ‘Batman’”
Chris Cuomo is trying to make this atrocious little mustache happen even though it looks like he drew it on with a ballpoint pen
November 11, 2025 at 2:16 PM
It’s a series of movies about a guy who has impossible technology at his disposal, plausibility went out the window DECADES ago
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”

Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:

“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."

radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 2:02 PM
But how will they have electricity if it’s cloudy or dark? I thought those were insurmountable problems with the “clean energy scam”
This a big deal: "China’s carbon dioxide emissions have been flat or falling for 18 months"

China's economy has grown by ~5% in the last year, so this comprehensively debunks the idea (again) that emissions are tied to growth. So yes, faster progress needed, but this is how you turn the corner.
China’s CO2 emissions have been flat or falling for past 18 months, analysis finds
World’s biggest polluter on track to hit peak emissions target early but miss goal for cutting carbon intensity
www.theguardian.com
November 11, 2025 at 1:30 PM
What is this, some kind of Banana Republic? We don’t send troops into cities just because you think crooks are hiding behind every Crate & Barrel along the street. What are you going to do, deploy the Old Navy to the Great Lakes?
Call in the troops to solve the commercial real estate crisis in our swanky downtown cores

You can’t make this shit up, folks
November 11, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Someone give me permission to take a mental health day, I really just don’t wanna today
November 11, 2025 at 11:33 AM
Reposted by Roast TurkBrie 🍗
In the century leading up to 1975, nearly 6000 freighters went down in the Great Lakes.

The Edmund Fitzgerald was the last.

The last. In 50 years, not a single commercial freighter has been lost in the Great Lakes.

Why?

It's NOAA. Of course it's NOAA.
November 11, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Somehow the Detroit Pistons are the second best team in the NBA right now and I don’t know how
November 11, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Reposted by Roast TurkBrie 🍗
Volunteering my service again to help people find the right antenna for their needs

Go to www.rabbitears.info/searchmap.php and pull a signal report, then share your results and we’ll see what we can do
RabbitEars.Info - Signal Search Map
RabbitEars, where you can learn all about local, over-the-air TV channels.
www.rabbitears.info
November 11, 2025 at 1:04 AM
In what should hopefully be sexy to someone, I just replaced the broken dryer belt between dinner and the start of Jeopardy! and it works just fine
November 11, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Sarah needs our help.
Hey so I just found out I need another medical procedure, which is really not what I was hoping for!! I’m still only working part-time while I look for a full-time gig so here I am asking for help once again. Your support over these last few months means the world to me. gofund.me/0ffa6eda
Donate to Sarah’s medical expenses, organized by Sarah Kelly Shannon
I’m Sarah, a (former? I think?) sports editor living in Denver with my pug, Spruce. In Ju… Sarah Kelly Shannon needs your support for Sarah’s medical expenses
gofund.me
November 10, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I have no idea what to do for dinner and it’s 5:30 already. I’m tired, Link’s feeling bad, I’ve got to disassemble and fix the dryer once the belt gets here… ideas? Everyone had pizza for lunch, it seems
November 10, 2025 at 10:29 PM
This ain’t UNC-Duke. It ain’t Michigan-Sparty. It ain’t Bill Self vs. The First Weekend of the Tournament.

THIS IS KENTUCKY-LOUISVILLE.

L’s down. Go Big Blue.
November 10, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Reposted by Roast TurkBrie 🍗
Hi writers! I’m looking to assign a couple of features for Slate before the end of the year. If you have anything in mind that you think would be a fit please send me a pitch! Jenée.Desmond- harris@slate.com or dm me.

RTs are appreciated so this can reach more people. Thanks!
November 10, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Did he also promise you a pony, you tapioca-brain?
Whoa -- Sen. Durbin went to up Leader Thune during the vote last night to tell him that on the shutdown vote and ACA promise that "8 of us are sticking our neck out that you're going to keep your word. I hope you will. He said 'I assure you I will,'" Durbin says just now
November 10, 2025 at 6:14 PM
NO KIDDING

Holy fuck, Schumer, our expectations for you were low but this is BAD
US HOUSE SPEAKER JOHNSON SAID HE WON'T COMMIT TO A VOTE ON ACA SUBSIDIES, I'M TOLD – SEMOFAR REPORTER ON X
November 10, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I have gotten a text back from him but I am still concerned
Please update us when you know he’s safe
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
If anyone knows how to reach Gurt’s family please call them right now and tell them to find him please
November 10, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Face ID on my phone has stopped recognizing me, which is a problem, actually
November 10, 2025 at 12:23 PM
To quote Bruce Cockburn, “nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, gotta kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight”
None of this is my fault, don’t doom in my mentions, don’t be a bitch, kick the shit out of everyone in our way until you see daylight, hope this helps
Unfortunately today’s politics basically make it impossible to become a senator without being a bitch.
November 10, 2025 at 1:29 AM
How did this buffoon end up on a presidential ticket?
This, from Tim Kaine is HILARIOUS:
November 10, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Did Britt celebrate the washer being fixed by loading the dryer with wet clothes that needed an extra spin cycle, ensuring that the dryer belt would snap?

You already know the answer
November 10, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Is it safe to unmute the game now?
November 9, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Hey Fox Sports, can you maybe just televise the damn football game? Nobody tuned in for this shit
November 9, 2025 at 11:26 PM