*beastie boys*

well old homer simpson made nuclear POWER
getting paid peanuts by the HOUR
all the employees are taking TURNS
getting abused by mr BURNS

and so he became a union MAN
going on strike for a dental PLAN
didnt want his daughter to make FUNNY FACES
because after all LISA NEEDS BRACES

I saw the ammunition in the closet with Ms. Krabapple and they were making babies and one of the babies looked at me and said some antifa ideology at me

i cant stop laughing at everything about this sorry

Man I love croutons. The thing about croutons is they can never get stale, they can only temporarily become stairs.

Supreme Court redefines marriage to allow cop to marry the concept of Shooting A Dog. “we love it so much that we want to marry it” says police spokesperson

So Curb is going to end exactly like Seinfeld to stick it to all the people who hated on the final episode huh?

@khill.bsky.social @dancasey.bsky.social damn you! When?! When!? When?! Will we get a new collaboration, cowards?! Old episodes of M***watch are so excellent! Just do NotATotalDouchWatch or something...sheesh.

Paul Atreides, get your country ass over here my momma says you been in the desert riding a worm as big as a damn bus

i feel like every time i walk past a bakery it smells like bread. what the hell are they doing in there

Name a fictional chararcter you believe would appear on the Epstein list:

We did defeat the Nazis in the marketplace of ideas. It cost millions of lives to find out where there ideas go and put them down. There is simply no need to indulge it and anyone who thinks there is is a Nazi sympathizer at absolute minimum

dude i heard Marilyn Manson had two of his wisdom teeth removed so he could kiss his own mouth

Yyyyyeeeaaaaahhhhh baby!

I don't know how we don't talk about how great of an American President Grant was. Maybe not the greatest president ever but god damn if he wasn't a great American. He represented what *actually* makes America great...her potential to recover from mistakes & strive for being better.

Im crazy excited for Burns' The American Revolution but a little worried we're gonna get like Piers Morgan in it telling us how Henry Clinton was such a gentleman & great man.

Shelby Foote's been dead for 20 years but if listen close, you can still hear him fondling Nathan Bedford Forrest's balls.

Haha Eddy Niedermeyer blocked me for 1 reply suggesting that maybe if I'd spent most of my adult life desperately trying to make money off the failure of a company that didn't end up failing, a victory lap about a non-victory is a bit stupid and self-aggrandizing (he & Elon should co-patent that).

Ahhhh that's the good stuff