@aytum.bsky.social
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Radical bearded cleric issues new fatwa -->
December 22, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Radical bearded cleric issues new fatwa -->
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this whole administration is like when they shut off the containment unit in ‘ghostbusters’
April 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
this whole administration is like when they shut off the containment unit in ‘ghostbusters’
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Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take
April 15, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take
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April 15, 2025 at 12:02 PM
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“At least I got to say slurs again,” the finance guy who never stopped saying slurs thinks to himself as he opens his 37th story office window and looks at the sidewalk below.
April 9, 2025 at 1:02 PM
“At least I got to say slurs again,” the finance guy who never stopped saying slurs thinks to himself as he opens his 37th story office window and looks at the sidewalk below.
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I wrote about this a bit in my last book but it really shakes me that a defining feature of this catastrophic era is that we just keep going to work. We work through pandemics, we work through natural disasters, we work through economic calamity, we work through coups, we work, we work, we work.
April 9, 2025 at 1:03 PM
I wrote about this a bit in my last book but it really shakes me that a defining feature of this catastrophic era is that we just keep going to work. We work through pandemics, we work through natural disasters, we work through economic calamity, we work through coups, we work, we work, we work.
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I love paying TurboTax a few hundred bucks every year to figure out how much money I owe the government, which the government already knows, but won't tell me because TurboTax pays legislators to keep the government from telling me. 😻
April 8, 2025 at 12:06 PM
I love paying TurboTax a few hundred bucks every year to figure out how much money I owe the government, which the government already knows, but won't tell me because TurboTax pays legislators to keep the government from telling me. 😻
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Oh he was so close to being prophetic. So close 😑🖕
April 8, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Oh he was so close to being prophetic. So close 😑🖕
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Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion
Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion
VEVEY, SWITZERLAND—With the food conglomerate saying the acquisition made sense given its longstanding strategic partnership with the pathogen, Nestlé released a statement Friday confirming it had pur...
theonion.com
April 8, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion
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Q: 60 Minutes found 75% of the migrants who were sent to El Salvador do not have criminal records. That true?
BONDI: They're not Venezuelan migrants. They're illegal aliens from Venezuela who should not have been in our country
Q: So you're confirming they didn't commit a crime?
BONDI: *leaves*
BONDI: They're not Venezuelan migrants. They're illegal aliens from Venezuela who should not have been in our country
Q: So you're confirming they didn't commit a crime?
BONDI: *leaves*
April 8, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Q: 60 Minutes found 75% of the migrants who were sent to El Salvador do not have criminal records. That true?
BONDI: They're not Venezuelan migrants. They're illegal aliens from Venezuela who should not have been in our country
Q: So you're confirming they didn't commit a crime?
BONDI: *leaves*
BONDI: They're not Venezuelan migrants. They're illegal aliens from Venezuela who should not have been in our country
Q: So you're confirming they didn't commit a crime?
BONDI: *leaves*
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Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
WASHINGTON—Warning that even the slightest dent, knick, or scratch would henceforth be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Tuesday that Raymond Pratt, a 5...
theonion.com
April 8, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
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Unless Leonard Leo and Harlan Crowe order their employees on the Supreme Court to do something, there's not much hope.
“A top Goldman Sachs executive summed up the frustration with Mr. Trump succinctly: Someone has to stop him.”
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/06/b...
www.nytimes.com/2025/04/06/b...
Wall Street’s Decision Makers Brace for More Chaos After Markets Plunge
The financial titans who backed Trump are now dealing with the fallout from his tariffs. They spent the weekend surveying the damage of last week’s major sell-off.
www.nytimes.com
April 7, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Unless Leonard Leo and Harlan Crowe order their employees on the Supreme Court to do something, there's not much hope.
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"THE LIBRULS WANT YOU TO EET BUG BECAUSE 'CLIMATE CHANGE' BUT DADDY TRUMP WANT YOU TO EET BUG BECAUSE ALL YOU CAN AFFORD!"
April 3, 2025 at 5:36 PM
"THE LIBRULS WANT YOU TO EET BUG BECAUSE 'CLIMATE CHANGE' BUT DADDY TRUMP WANT YOU TO EET BUG BECAUSE ALL YOU CAN AFFORD!"
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what if it just took one though
April 3, 2025 at 1:39 PM
what if it just took one though
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Concerning New Study Finds Nation’s Poverty Growing Faster Than Officials Can Build Prisons
theonion.com/concern...
theonion.com/concern...
April 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Concerning New Study Finds Nation’s Poverty Growing Faster Than Officials Can Build Prisons
theonion.com/concern...
theonion.com/concern...
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It’s still hard to believe the simple fact that this is all self-imposed. Everything that’s happening right now wasn’t the result of some foreign adversary destroying the country. We did this all to ourselves by electing the dumbest motherfucker to ever rule a nation.
April 2, 2025 at 11:11 PM
It’s still hard to believe the simple fact that this is all self-imposed. Everything that’s happening right now wasn’t the result of some foreign adversary destroying the country. We did this all to ourselves by electing the dumbest motherfucker to ever rule a nation.
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Everyone wants there to be a grand scheme behind all of this but the terrible truth is that extremely stupid people are in charge and they have a fanatical devotion to wrong, childlike concepts of society and economics cooked up by right wing radio hosts in order to sell tainted dietary supplements
April 3, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Everyone wants there to be a grand scheme behind all of this but the terrible truth is that extremely stupid people are in charge and they have a fanatical devotion to wrong, childlike concepts of society and economics cooked up by right wing radio hosts in order to sell tainted dietary supplements
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We take tariffs on our beautiful Heard Island very seriously. We will be consulting all mammals and flightless birds and will make an announcement in the near future detailing our response. #heardisland #tariff #mcdonaldisland #trumptariff
April 3, 2025 at 12:01 AM
We take tariffs on our beautiful Heard Island very seriously. We will be consulting all mammals and flightless birds and will make an announcement in the near future detailing our response. #heardisland #tariff #mcdonaldisland #trumptariff
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Measles and tariffs, what century is this?
April 3, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Measles and tariffs, what century is this?
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U.S. Food Banks Struggle Under Funding Cuts
theonion.com/u-s-foo...
theonion.com/u-s-foo...
April 2, 2025 at 8:30 PM
U.S. Food Banks Struggle Under Funding Cuts
theonion.com/u-s-foo...
theonion.com/u-s-foo...
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Trump is imposing a 10% tariff on the Heard and McDonald Islands.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
April 2, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Trump is imposing a 10% tariff on the Heard and McDonald Islands.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
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Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
WASHINGTON—Warning that Americans should brace themselves for an economic “period of transition,” President Donald Trump told reporters Monday that a recession would be an unfortunate but necessary st...
theonion.com
April 2, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression