Xanderpuss
@xanderpussrex.bsky.social
Opinions aren't my own. They're my job's. Blame my job.
Pinned
The Jedi will return in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
January 7, 2026 at 4:25 AM
The Jedi will return in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
My gf is 4 of these and she's pretty great tbh
That is clearly a list of women who have rejected you, but ok buddy whatever you say
January 7, 2026 at 4:08 AM
My gf is 4 of these and she's pretty great tbh
Stuffed full of potato patties and borracho beans, tale as old as time
January 7, 2026 at 3:37 AM
Stuffed full of potato patties and borracho beans, tale as old as time
"Pull my finger."
January 6, 2026 at 9:20 PM
"Pull my finger."
Just another attempt by big smoothie to rebrand pee as squirt
If I was a Smoothie King regular, I might want to know the name of the town and location.
January 6, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Just another attempt by big smoothie to rebrand pee as squirt
Full moon rising
14. What is the most calming experience that costs nothing?
January 6, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Full moon rising
Extreme heat. I can drink more water and hang out in the shade, but I never want to come close to losing toes from frost nip again.
5. Would you rather be in extreme heat or extreme cold?
January 6, 2026 at 4:37 PM
Extreme heat. I can drink more water and hang out in the shade, but I never want to come close to losing toes from frost nip again.
Reposted by Xanderpuss
Europe to Trump as he destabilizes the order for capitalism to steal value from the global south.
January 6, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Europe to Trump as he destabilizes the order for capitalism to steal value from the global south.
Dan Bongino ate my baby!
Dan Bongino has departed FBI, per statement
January 4, 2026 at 3:07 PM
Dan Bongino ate my baby!
They're hanging out with the Africanized bees no doubt, completely flummoxed by that confounding wall
Officials found the flesh-eating larvae near South Texas.
A flesh-eating parasite is now in Mexico's Texas border state
Officials found the flesh-eating larvae near South Texas.
bit.ly
January 3, 2026 at 5:36 PM
They're hanging out with the Africanized bees no doubt, completely flummoxed by that confounding wall
Really looking forward to electing the most electable old white male democrat to president in 2028 and have him carry on all of Trump's policies for the sake of continuity
January 3, 2026 at 4:35 PM
Really looking forward to electing the most electable old white male democrat to president in 2028 and have him carry on all of Trump's policies for the sake of continuity
Tfw you couldn't in good conscience vote for a war in Gaza so you voted for a war in Venezuela
a man in a blue shirt is saying that he is not a smart man
Alt: Forrest Gump
media.tenor.com
January 3, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Tfw you couldn't in good conscience vote for a war in Gaza so you voted for a war in Venezuela
Glad I didn't read any of y'all's posts till after I went back to sleep.
I just woke up from a dream about a cookie: A sweet crunchy base layer like a thin graham cracker, then a layer of several phyllo pastry sheets that'd been soaked in honey, then a top layer of hard ouside/soft inside brown sugar icing.
January 3, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Glad I didn't read any of y'all's posts till after I went back to sleep.
I just woke up from a dream about a cookie: A sweet crunchy base layer like a thin graham cracker, then a layer of several phyllo pastry sheets that'd been soaked in honey, then a top layer of hard ouside/soft inside brown sugar icing.
January 3, 2026 at 10:43 AM
I just woke up from a dream about a cookie: A sweet crunchy base layer like a thin graham cracker, then a layer of several phyllo pastry sheets that'd been soaked in honey, then a top layer of hard ouside/soft inside brown sugar icing.
This is why I rarely post selfies. All my mutuals are degenerates.
If you're a normal person taking bathroom or makeup selfies bc you feel cute, you should just stop. Return to tradition, share it with your friends on group texts. Any public photo is now fuel for the Porn Machine.
If your career/hobby involves sharing pics of yourself, it just sucks.
If your career/hobby involves sharing pics of yourself, it just sucks.
January 2, 2026 at 5:08 PM
This is why I rarely post selfies. All my mutuals are degenerates.
January 2, 2026 at 4:22 AM
European Luigi in Switzerland, or?
January 1, 2026 at 11:59 PM
European Luigi in Switzerland, or?
All my life I've had greens and black eyed peas on new years day and I don't know why but I'm not going to stop now
January 1, 2026 at 10:41 PM
All my life I've had greens and black eyed peas on new years day and I don't know why but I'm not going to stop now
Pitching fell off a cliff in the second half of last season so I'm glad to see them addressing this. Lord knows the solution wasn't in triple A.
A person familiar with the negotiations tells The Associated Press that right-hander Tatsuya Imai and the Houston Astros have agreed to a $54 million, three-year contract.
Right-hander Tatsuya Imai and Houston Astros agree to $54 million, 3-year contract, AP source says
A person familiar with the negotiations tells The Associated Press that right-hander Tatsuya Imai and the Houston Astros have agreed to a $54 million, three-year contract.
bit.ly
January 1, 2026 at 10:32 PM
Pitching fell off a cliff in the second half of last season so I'm glad to see them addressing this. Lord knows the solution wasn't in triple A.
Quitter
President Trump said Wednesday he's removing National Guard troops from Chicago, Los Angeles and Portland, at least for now. In a social media post, Trump wrote, "We will come back, perhaps in a much different and stronger form, when crime begins to soar again, only a question of time."
January 1, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Quitter
Ok, but don't tell anyone this about me
January 1, 2026 at 4:04 PM
Ok, but don't tell anyone this about me
Reposted by Xanderpuss
This baby only lived one year
January 1, 2026 at 12:03 AM
This baby only lived one year
Just now realizing this'll be the first new years I'll be sober since I was like 15
January 1, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Just now realizing this'll be the first new years I'll be sober since I was like 15
Skipping the gym today, so here's my 2025 cardio total (according to the treadmill which is obviously not terribly accurate but whatever, it's the only measure I have)
December 31, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Skipping the gym today, so here's my 2025 cardio total (according to the treadmill which is obviously not terribly accurate but whatever, it's the only measure I have)