Ben Van der Velde
@vanderlaugh.bsky.social
Half-man, Half-beast, Half-Mop. Terrible at fractions.
Have a gander here: www.benvandervelde.com
Photo (c) Andy Hollingworth Archive
Have a gander here: www.benvandervelde.com
Photo (c) Andy Hollingworth Archive
World-class Go Fuck Yourself Energy.
Normalize laughing derisively in men's faces when they deserve it.
February 18, 2026 at 9:06 PM
World-class Go Fuck Yourself Energy.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Lost my phone in London, with four credit cards and £150 cash in the case. Returned to me within 21 minutes. This hellhole of a city eh.
February 18, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Lost my phone in London, with four credit cards and £150 cash in the case. Returned to me within 21 minutes. This hellhole of a city eh.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
"Let's Go F***ing Lental" would be a great promotional slogan for churches at this time of year.
February 18, 2026 at 10:21 AM
"Let's Go F***ing Lental" would be a great promotional slogan for churches at this time of year.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Gavin Newsom looks like one of the masks they wore in Point Break
February 16, 2026 at 7:48 PM
Gavin Newsom looks like one of the masks they wore in Point Break
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
every shot-on-video, made-with-a-camcorder horror movie that's just some teenage friend group fucking around in the woods with some fake blood and a monster mask contains more artistic merit, human joy and creative light than anything AI has ever made or will ever, ever make
February 17, 2026 at 2:22 AM
every shot-on-video, made-with-a-camcorder horror movie that's just some teenage friend group fucking around in the woods with some fake blood and a monster mask contains more artistic merit, human joy and creative light than anything AI has ever made or will ever, ever make
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Palantir: too bad to be untrue.
bsky.app/profile/samf...
bsky.app/profile/samf...
February 14, 2026 at 12:11 PM
Palantir: too bad to be untrue.
bsky.app/profile/samf...
bsky.app/profile/samf...
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
My brother Garry has dementia and is currently lost somewhere in the Chester area. If anyone should spot him please call the police on 999. We'd appreciate reposts. @shitchester.bsky.social
February 14, 2026 at 8:00 PM
My brother Garry has dementia and is currently lost somewhere in the Chester area. If anyone should spot him please call the police on 999. We'd appreciate reposts. @shitchester.bsky.social
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
You never hear about anyone else of Bingen.
February 13, 2026 at 7:20 PM
You never hear about anyone else of Bingen.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Because of this story I can never give signed books to charity and if I buy one which turns out to have an inscription I feel bad for the signatory
February 12, 2026 at 12:45 PM
Because of this story I can never give signed books to charity and if I buy one which turns out to have an inscription I feel bad for the signatory
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
I cannot stress enough how enjoyable it is to deprive that withered old cunt of your money. Waterstones, Argos, Boots - it is so easy to get whatever you need, and it feels kinda fun, like taking a holiday in 90s Britain
Just ordered a book from my local Waterstones. Click and collect so I’ll get it on way home tonight. As cheap as Amazon. Also bought an instant camera earlier this week from Argos, cheaper than on Amazon. It’s proving very easy not to use the evil billionaire’s website. More of you should try it.
February 13, 2026 at 8:16 AM
I cannot stress enough how enjoyable it is to deprive that withered old cunt of your money. Waterstones, Argos, Boots - it is so easy to get whatever you need, and it feels kinda fun, like taking a holiday in 90s Britain
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Just ordered a book from my local Waterstones. Click and collect so I’ll get it on way home tonight. As cheap as Amazon. Also bought an instant camera earlier this week from Argos, cheaper than on Amazon. It’s proving very easy not to use the evil billionaire’s website. More of you should try it.
February 13, 2026 at 8:01 AM
Just ordered a book from my local Waterstones. Click and collect so I’ll get it on way home tonight. As cheap as Amazon. Also bought an instant camera earlier this week from Argos, cheaper than on Amazon. It’s proving very easy not to use the evil billionaire’s website. More of you should try it.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
I am sorry that my choice of language (calling Jim Ratcliffe a cunt) has offended some people in Monaco (Jim Ratcliffe) but it is important to raise the issue of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt and maintain an open debate on the challenges of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt.
February 12, 2026 at 12:41 PM
I am sorry that my choice of language (calling Jim Ratcliffe a cunt) has offended some people in Monaco (Jim Ratcliffe) but it is important to raise the issue of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt and maintain an open debate on the challenges of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
#AICouldNever
Aretha Week continues!
A sweet little number, with Ray Johnson
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbTV...
Aretha Week continues!
A sweet little number, with Ray Johnson
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbTV...
Aretha Franklin with Ray Johnson "Mockingbird" with Lyrics 03,10,1965
YouTube video by Batwoman
www.youtube.com
February 10, 2026 at 5:07 PM
#AICouldNever
Aretha Week continues!
A sweet little number, with Ray Johnson
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbTV...
Aretha Week continues!
A sweet little number, with Ray Johnson
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbTV...
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
www.theguardian.com/books/2026/f...
Fascinating read. The achievements mainly due to this man, are astonishing. The public, persuaded by a hostile media, turned to Cameron and austerity. Which is arguably one if the main reasons why we had Brexit and the far right.
Fascinating read. The achievements mainly due to this man, are astonishing. The public, persuaded by a hostile media, turned to Cameron and austerity. Which is arguably one if the main reasons why we had Brexit and the far right.
Gordon Brown by James Macintyre review – a very different kind of politician
A new biography reveals Brown to be a man of exceptional vision and probity – what a contrast with today’s politics
www.theguardian.com
February 9, 2026 at 8:36 AM
www.theguardian.com/books/2026/f...
Fascinating read. The achievements mainly due to this man, are astonishing. The public, persuaded by a hostile media, turned to Cameron and austerity. Which is arguably one if the main reasons why we had Brexit and the far right.
Fascinating read. The achievements mainly due to this man, are astonishing. The public, persuaded by a hostile media, turned to Cameron and austerity. Which is arguably one if the main reasons why we had Brexit and the far right.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
I'm SO mad, I got kidnapped by evil scientists and put in the evil science facility where they give you psychic powers and wings and stuff but I was in the control group so nothing happened
February 5, 2026 at 9:02 AM
I'm SO mad, I got kidnapped by evil scientists and put in the evil science facility where they give you psychic powers and wings and stuff but I was in the control group so nothing happened
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA
February 7, 2026 at 12:40 AM
production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Much excellence coming up at @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social's @kidscomedyfest.bsky.social this month, including OH HEY US in #MarketHarborough, alongside @jonnyawsum.bsky.social, @iszi.com, @katiepritchards.bsky.social & @vanderlaugh.bsky.social, @ofalafel.bsky.social, @marcellucont.bsky.social...
February 6, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Much excellence coming up at @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social's @kidscomedyfest.bsky.social this month, including OH HEY US in #MarketHarborough, alongside @jonnyawsum.bsky.social, @iszi.com, @katiepritchards.bsky.social & @vanderlaugh.bsky.social, @ofalafel.bsky.social, @marcellucont.bsky.social...
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
(seen a bunch of people sharing this/talking in general about how "normal" Mamdani is but imo this doesn't show a normal person, but an *exceptionally* skilled communicator - a normal person wouldn't react like that to having a speech interrupted by a child! give him his due!)
Child at the podium: “A woo woo woo.”
Mamdani: That’s how I felt when we came up with this plan. Together, we will expand the idea of what is possible in our city—and what sounds and noises we can make at a press conference.
Mamdani: That’s how I felt when we came up with this plan. Together, we will expand the idea of what is possible in our city—and what sounds and noises we can make at a press conference.
February 6, 2026 at 10:06 AM
(seen a bunch of people sharing this/talking in general about how "normal" Mamdani is but imo this doesn't show a normal person, but an *exceptionally* skilled communicator - a normal person wouldn't react like that to having a speech interrupted by a child! give him his due!)
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
they should make a movie series about how it’s irresponsible to use technology to mess with the natural order of things for profit
Xfinity has just released its Jurassic Park-themed Super Bowl ad that features a digitally de-aged Sam Neil, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum. https://bit.ly/4rmRhrK
February 3, 2026 at 3:32 AM
they should make a movie series about how it’s irresponsible to use technology to mess with the natural order of things for profit
Good lord that line is a deadly arrow through the heart. Men getting away with being lords of all they survey AND given a blancher carte than women when they fuck up really is the greatest grift of them all.
This article is almost 10 years old but remains evergreen.
"The line on men has been that they're the only gender qualified to hold important jobs and too incompetent to be responsible for their conduct."
"The line on men has been that they're the only gender qualified to hold important jobs and too incompetent to be responsible for their conduct."
The myth of the male bumbler
How manipulative men use one of our culture's most muscular myths — that men are clueless — and weaponize it into an alibi
theweek.com
February 3, 2026 at 8:51 AM
Good lord that line is a deadly arrow through the heart. Men getting away with being lords of all they survey AND given a blancher carte than women when they fuck up really is the greatest grift of them all.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
[upbeat zohran voice] I'm here at the Palace of Justice in Nuremberg, Germany, where 80 years ago some important progressive work started [smash cut] but hasn't ended. So here's what we're doing:
February 2, 2026 at 10:23 PM
[upbeat zohran voice] I'm here at the Palace of Justice in Nuremberg, Germany, where 80 years ago some important progressive work started [smash cut] but hasn't ended. So here's what we're doing:
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
Need a distraction from the 24-hour news cycle? Check out "Balloon Dog Anatomy" by the great Jason Freeny.
February 2, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Need a distraction from the 24-hour news cycle? Check out "Balloon Dog Anatomy" by the great Jason Freeny.
YES! Absolutely tremendous, inclusive, practical campaigning that doesn't scold people into voting for her. Excellent.
Hannah is the Green Party candidate for Gorton and Denton.
She is also a plumber and dog rescuer🐕💪
She is also a plumber and dog rescuer🐕💪
February 1, 2026 at 5:00 PM
YES! Absolutely tremendous, inclusive, practical campaigning that doesn't scold people into voting for her. Excellent.
Reposted by Ben Van der Velde
You would have thought billionaires and princes could get laid easier than this
February 1, 2026 at 1:48 PM
You would have thought billionaires and princes could get laid easier than this
1. Challah with butter and marmite
2. Cheesy chips
3. Chicken parmagiana
4. Tablet
5. Chicken and prawn and everything laksa
2. Cheesy chips
3. Chicken parmagiana
4. Tablet
5. Chicken and prawn and everything laksa
Never mind the jobs you've had or the classes you took, tell me 5 things you can eat until you explode. #FoodSky
January 31, 2026 at 9:56 PM
1. Challah with butter and marmite
2. Cheesy chips
3. Chicken parmagiana
4. Tablet
5. Chicken and prawn and everything laksa
2. Cheesy chips
3. Chicken parmagiana
4. Tablet
5. Chicken and prawn and everything laksa