Ben Van der Velde
@vanderlaugh.bsky.social
Half-man, Half-beast, Half-Mop. Terrible at fractions.
Have a gander here: www.benvandervelde.com
Photo (c) Andy Hollingworth Archive
Have a gander here: www.benvandervelde.com
Photo (c) Andy Hollingworth Archive
Very much enjoyed my day out at Trans World Sport Live!
October 19, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Very much enjoyed my day out at Trans World Sport Live!
Could not get enough of this as an 8 year old. The illustrations had me convinced I was actually mechanical.
September 28, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Could not get enough of this as an 8 year old. The illustrations had me convinced I was actually mechanical.
Breaking news on the Beeb: Wills and Kate are expanding their kink palette beyond pegging. Fair play.
September 4, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Breaking news on the Beeb: Wills and Kate are expanding their kink palette beyond pegging. Fair play.
One week today I'm going to be running (and let me speak my purest truth, also burping and farting) my way around the Great North Run to raise money for Dementia UK.
If you've got a spare bit of cash to spur my little goat legs on, that'd be ace.
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
If you've got a spare bit of cash to spur my little goat legs on, that'd be ace.
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
August 31, 2025 at 1:18 PM
One week today I'm going to be running (and let me speak my purest truth, also burping and farting) my way around the Great North Run to raise money for Dementia UK.
If you've got a spare bit of cash to spur my little goat legs on, that'd be ace.
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
If you've got a spare bit of cash to spur my little goat legs on, that'd be ace.
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
This is the face of someone who just ran 14 miles by mistake while training for a HALF-marathon.
I literally went the extra mile for Dementia UK.
Can you go the extra mile for me?
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
I literally went the extra mile for Dementia UK.
Can you go the extra mile for me?
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
July 27, 2025 at 12:32 PM
This is the face of someone who just ran 14 miles by mistake while training for a HALF-marathon.
I literally went the extra mile for Dementia UK.
Can you go the extra mile for me?
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
I literally went the extra mile for Dementia UK.
Can you go the extra mile for me?
ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/ben-van-d...
Every single time I hear Bumrah's name on TMS. #thecricket
July 14, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Every single time I hear Bumrah's name on TMS. #thecricket
Well look at these excellent pictures of my face. Please enjoy this poster drop for some WIP shows coming to the #edfringe this summer (and, all being well, full-blown proper shows next year!)
June 24, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Well look at these excellent pictures of my face. Please enjoy this poster drop for some WIP shows coming to the #edfringe this summer (and, all being well, full-blown proper shows next year!)
I cannot defend Walliams' abysmal kids books or REDACTED, but this is such a stupid, scared, route one statement by the production company.
Oh, okay then lads, let's just put Mel Brooks, Spike Milligan, Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo in the bin shall we?
Oh, okay then lads, let's just put Mel Brooks, Spike Milligan, Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo in the bin shall we?
June 12, 2025 at 11:16 AM
I cannot defend Walliams' abysmal kids books or REDACTED, but this is such a stupid, scared, route one statement by the production company.
Oh, okay then lads, let's just put Mel Brooks, Spike Milligan, Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo in the bin shall we?
Oh, okay then lads, let's just put Mel Brooks, Spike Milligan, Dad's Army and 'Allo 'Allo in the bin shall we?
I don't know enough about contemporary education to comment whether this glowing portrayal of Birbalsingh's school is a template for the whole UK system.
But I do know a decent journalist would have called her out for the use of this honking great white supremacist anti-semitic trope.
But I do know a decent journalist would have called her out for the use of this honking great white supremacist anti-semitic trope.
May 24, 2025 at 1:03 PM
I don't know enough about contemporary education to comment whether this glowing portrayal of Birbalsingh's school is a template for the whole UK system.
But I do know a decent journalist would have called her out for the use of this honking great white supremacist anti-semitic trope.
But I do know a decent journalist would have called her out for the use of this honking great white supremacist anti-semitic trope.
I'm not even an Arsenal fan, but all I want in my life is for Bukayo Saka to whisper in my ear "if you feel it, go for it."
Genuinely don't think there could be a purer experience.
I could walk on water after that.
Genuinely don't think there could be a purer experience.
I could walk on water after that.
April 8, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I'm not even an Arsenal fan, but all I want in my life is for Bukayo Saka to whisper in my ear "if you feel it, go for it."
Genuinely don't think there could be a purer experience.
I could walk on water after that.
Genuinely don't think there could be a purer experience.
I could walk on water after that.
I swear to God if Man City win the FA Cup from here I'm going to be furious.
March 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I swear to God if Man City win the FA Cup from here I'm going to be furious.
A hollow, soulless sensory playground built on the back of indentured servitude. Hallo to all that!
February 9, 2025 at 5:29 PM
A hollow, soulless sensory playground built on the back of indentured servitude. Hallo to all that!
Somewhere in the multiverse she said Wild Honey Pie.
January 26, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Somewhere in the multiverse she said Wild Honey Pie.
Read a pleasing number of books this year, of which this stack is the best.
Nomads rearranged my understanding of history, Strong Female Character rearranged my understanding of people, Be Funny Or Die clarified my understanding of comedy, and Cloud Cuckoo Land was the best of the lot.
Nomads rearranged my understanding of history, Strong Female Character rearranged my understanding of people, Be Funny Or Die clarified my understanding of comedy, and Cloud Cuckoo Land was the best of the lot.
December 30, 2024 at 4:55 PM
Read a pleasing number of books this year, of which this stack is the best.
Nomads rearranged my understanding of history, Strong Female Character rearranged my understanding of people, Be Funny Or Die clarified my understanding of comedy, and Cloud Cuckoo Land was the best of the lot.
Nomads rearranged my understanding of history, Strong Female Character rearranged my understanding of people, Be Funny Or Die clarified my understanding of comedy, and Cloud Cuckoo Land was the best of the lot.
Dont want to alarm anyone, but the tills in this pub seem to suggest that an alien laser beam attack on the White House is imminent.
October 18, 2024 at 8:27 PM
Dont want to alarm anyone, but the tills in this pub seem to suggest that an alien laser beam attack on the White House is imminent.
The last two carrots in my fridge are either preparing to star in a buddy cop movie set in 1986 or start up front for any Premier League team in 1993.
September 1, 2024 at 6:15 PM
The last two carrots in my fridge are either preparing to star in a buddy cop movie set in 1986 or start up front for any Premier League team in 1993.
I refuse to believe that Servette's player of the match isn't just three very shifty guillemots in a trenchcoat.
August 29, 2024 at 9:09 PM
I refuse to believe that Servette's player of the match isn't just three very shifty guillemots in a trenchcoat.
Unlike you, I get my news from a reliable source.
August 9, 2024 at 8:36 AM
Unlike you, I get my news from a reliable source.
I've only gone and done what I said I'd do...
Issue one of the written Van der Verse is here and, OF COURSE, it's all about my obsession with The Beatles.
Like, subscribe and all that business here:
open.substack.com/pub/vanderla...
Issue one of the written Van der Verse is here and, OF COURSE, it's all about my obsession with The Beatles.
Like, subscribe and all that business here:
open.substack.com/pub/vanderla...
April 5, 2024 at 11:43 AM
I've only gone and done what I said I'd do...
Issue one of the written Van der Verse is here and, OF COURSE, it's all about my obsession with The Beatles.
Like, subscribe and all that business here:
open.substack.com/pub/vanderla...
Issue one of the written Van der Verse is here and, OF COURSE, it's all about my obsession with The Beatles.
Like, subscribe and all that business here:
open.substack.com/pub/vanderla...