Tim Carvell
timcarvell.bsky.social
Tim Carvell
@timcarvell.bsky.social
Executive Producer, Last Week Tonight. Friend to nearly all the animals.
Reposted by Tim Carvell
I can't find US outlets referring to Permanent Sovereignty over Natural Resources, the basic intl law & UN precept that one nation can't grab another's resources. That would be... a timely explainer, right about now.

The Guardian seems to be the only place that's bothered to specifically note it.
Trump’s focus on Venezuelan oil reinforces claim action was never about ‘war on drugs’
US president claims US will take back ‘stolen’ oil, but experts say no legal claim to natural reserves exists
www.theguardian.com
January 4, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Lol
January 3, 2026 at 7:57 PM
This is from a week ago but it’s newly relevant:
When you hear fortunate son you know you’re in Vietnam. Life hack.
January 3, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
I guess the lucky thing is, they know for absolute certain no major news is going to happen in the next two weeks that will in any way jeopardize this incredibly expensive plan.
January 3, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Welp.
January 3, 2026 at 9:58 AM
I guess the lucky thing is, they know for absolute certain no major news is going to happen in the next two weeks that will in any way jeopardize this incredibly expensive plan.
January 3, 2026 at 1:59 AM
The weirdest thing here is, this is from his Instagram recently, but the original was posted five years ago, and it's still up. And it... doesn't solve the mystery of why he added an extra pair of hands.
January 3, 2026 at 12:43 AM
It's so funny to think "we had a 38-page handbook but we just replaced it with five values" inspires confidence instead of alarm. Like, if you walked into a restaurant and were told that, you'd leave immediately.
January 2, 2026 at 9:49 PM
A thing I'd be genuinely interested to know the answer to -- and that someone should ask! -- is, "What stories that CBS has done would've been covered differently if this policy had been in place, and what specifically would've changed?"
Incredible. CBS Evening News announces five new “simple values” — instead of their “38-page handbook” — as they roll out Tony Dokoupil is lead anchor.

One of those values is simply: “We love America and make no apologies for saying so.”
January 2, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
The dirty secret of criminal justice policy is that policy rarely explains trends
January 2, 2026 at 5:49 PM
It is almost as if crime rates in individual cities around the country rise and fall in sync, whether they have “tough-on-crime” prosecutors or not.
Such a silly argument. Cook County, LA, Portland, SF and Oakland also have all seen crime fall and they elected tough-on-crime prosecutors in recent years. Philly is a weird city where voter logic has Krasner as DA AND a mayor who campaigned on strengthening police

www.politico.com/news/2022/04...
January 2, 2026 at 8:05 PM
I do think the easiest and likeliest fix they’re going to make is telling Grok it can’t apologize or admit error anymore.
Media is starting to report the Grok child porn story but way too many are centering the bot's "apologies" and "admissions" without explaining that these are being generated in response to user requests and are not in anyway authentic or meaningful.
January 2, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
Media is starting to report the Grok child porn story but way too many are centering the bot's "apologies" and "admissions" without explaining that these are being generated in response to user requests and are not in anyway authentic or meaningful.
January 2, 2026 at 6:48 PM
I was told electing a progressive prosecutor would inevitably lead to a rise in crime.

share.inquirer.com/gjgwFN
Philadelphia records the fewest homicides in 60 years, plus other insights to 2025’s crime
The drop in homicides to 222 mirrors a national reduction in violence and follows years of sustained declines after Philadelphia’s homicide rate peaked during the pandemic.
share.inquirer.com
January 2, 2026 at 5:25 PM
(Trying to remember how many days you’re supposed to want to claw your eyes out with new glasses before the optometrist concedes you’re not just “taking time to get used to them.”)
January 2, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
Seems noteworthy that the apology that Grok made about generating CSAM isn’t an official statement but a prompted one
The whole thing is amazing
January 2, 2026 at 1:37 AM
What's funny is, the best rebuke to this approach -- caricaturing the work your colleagues have been doing and disparaging it, like you weren't there working alongside them -- has already been given by the guy he's replacing, who talked movingly about the actual work of journalism.
January 1, 2026 at 10:58 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HORSES! IT IS HORSE BIRTHDAY! HORSE!!!!!
January 1, 2026 at 1:30 PM
I get that it's just empty flattery, but it's very funny to have a journalist claim, with a straight face, that the issue with press coverage of a story like Hunter Biden's laptop is that it didn't center the voices of average Americans who knew nothing about the particulars of the case.
January 1, 2026 at 8:10 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
The new year starts off on a high note for me. I'll be the announcer for the inauguration of Zohran Mamdani as the next mayor of the City of New York.
December 31, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
As I was saying.
December 31, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
If you begin Star Trek: Voyager episode Spirit Folk at exactly 11:49:35 on New Year's Eve, Ensign Harry Kim will kiss a cow as the clock strikes midnight. Join in a very dumb annual tradition and start 2026 off on the right hoof.
December 23, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Reposted by Tim Carvell
In the rooms of AA they call 12/31 “amateur night.”

Stay safe if you’re drinking (get a ride, have a buddy).

Stay safe if you’re not drinking and want to stay stopped (drive yourself, have a buddy).

Good luck out there.
December 31, 2025 at 11:51 PM
The funniest thing here is that this guy taught at Harvard for forty years and somehow didn’t realize he was baiting people who love two things above all else: having an excuse to mention they went to Harvard, and telling you you’re wrong.
The reason this Harvard history professor decided he was done with one of the best and most privileged jobs in the world was, in his own words, because he was forced to lecture in a mask during peak Covid.

I’m not making this up.
December 31, 2025 at 4:25 PM
As I was saying.
December 31, 2025 at 3:43 PM