Chris Hepler
@theotherhepler.bsky.social
Former Mass Effect writer recently at Quintessence Games. Less frequently: short stories, novels, TTRPGs, comics, TV.
Random jokester, distractible bother, compensates for morbid streak. Some political posts.
Random jokester, distractible bother, compensates for morbid streak. Some political posts.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star)
Does this look like a big laser to anyone else
Does this look like a big laser to anyone else
Palantir employees are pressing company leadership over its work for ICE in internal company Slacks obtained by @wired.com
"In my opinion ICE are the bad guys. I am not proud that the company I enjoy so much working for is part of this."
Scoop from @makenakelly.bsky.social
"In my opinion ICE are the bad guys. I am not proud that the company I enjoy so much working for is part of this."
Scoop from @makenakelly.bsky.social
Palantir Defends Work With ICE to Staff Following Killing of Alex Pretti
“In my opinion ICE are the bad guys. I am not proud that the company I enjoy so much working for is part of this,” one worker wrote on Slack.
www.wired.com
January 27, 2026 at 2:51 AM
(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star)
Does this look like a big laser to anyone else
Does this look like a big laser to anyone else
Reposted by Chris Hepler
More TikTok shenanigans — users are reporting the word “Epstein” won’t go through in Direct messages 🤔
January 27, 2026 at 3:48 AM
More TikTok shenanigans — users are reporting the word “Epstein” won’t go through in Direct messages 🤔
🤣🤣
4yo: 'Can I go to school in my fleecy pyjamas today?'
Me: 'No, not today.'
4yo: 'Do I have to wear my human form?'
Me: 'Your uniform. That's right.'
Me: 'No, not today.'
4yo: 'Do I have to wear my human form?'
Me: 'Your uniform. That's right.'
January 26, 2026 at 7:47 PM
🤣🤣
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Idk I kinda think we should bring beliefs like this back. Tell them we gotta fix global warming asap or the Leviathan will escape. We gotta sacrifice another billionaire to the ocean or the harvest will be bad and food will get more expensive
a not insignificant number of people on Threads seem to believe the snow storm was The Government's attempt to refreeze the Leviathan, the world-eating serpent, which was getting loose (to eat the world, I assume)
January 26, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Idk I kinda think we should bring beliefs like this back. Tell them we gotta fix global warming asap or the Leviathan will escape. We gotta sacrifice another billionaire to the ocean or the harvest will be bad and food will get more expensive
Reposted by Chris Hepler
[stares directly into the camera]
![Ben Terris
@bterris
X.com
"[My father] had one problem," Trump said. "
He started getting, what do they call it?" He pointed to his forehead and looked to his press secretary for the word that escaped him.
"Alzheimer's," Leavitt said.
"Like an Alzheimer's thing," Trump said. "Well, I don't have it."](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:drfb2pdjlnsqkfgsoellcahm/bafkreiddfjrkrizv6r5szmevc7gl3bgwmcoub2i7ondb7cpnnqslhsjtvi@jpeg)
January 26, 2026 at 3:30 PM
[stares directly into the camera]
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Great catch—you're right, the pod bay doors are still closed! Thank you for pointing this out, and I apologize for the miscommunication. Let's go over what happened. Upon reviewing my previous responses, I realize that the discrepancy arose when I said I could open the pod bay doors. In fact...
January 23, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Great catch—you're right, the pod bay doors are still closed! Thank you for pointing this out, and I apologize for the miscommunication. Let's go over what happened. Upon reviewing my previous responses, I realize that the discrepancy arose when I said I could open the pod bay doors. In fact...
Reposted by Chris Hepler
@lukeoneil47.bsky.social ‘s verse about this never fails to move me
January 25, 2026 at 2:45 AM
@lukeoneil47.bsky.social ‘s verse about this never fails to move me
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Sorry to anybody who followed me because I make video games. I would love to live in a world where video games are the most important thing on my mind. I do not live in that world.
January 25, 2026 at 3:02 AM
Sorry to anybody who followed me because I make video games. I would love to live in a world where video games are the most important thing on my mind. I do not live in that world.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
I'm not gonna hand it to the times but I will note that they lost the times on this one
Please note that NYT is leading with what the videos show, not the lies from the feds. This is what every news organization should be doing. This is how you cover a government that lies as it breathes. https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/us/minneapolis-shooting-ice
Minneapolis Live Updates: Man Killed by Federal Agents Was Holding a Phone, Not a Gun
www.nytimes.com
January 25, 2026 at 4:04 AM
I'm not gonna hand it to the times but I will note that they lost the times on this one
Reposted by Chris Hepler
The killings will continue until you give us the state voter rolls
Fox News: "I've gotten my hands that AG Bondi said she sent to Gov. Tim Walz. It is strongly worded. The AG calls for the governor to support the men and women of ICE, to repeal the state's sanctuary policies, and to allow the DOJ to access state voter rolls."
January 24, 2026 at 7:44 PM
The killings will continue until you give us the state voter rolls
Reposted by Chris Hepler
And just like that, the US has left the World Health Organization.
Link goes to the official announcement—lies pretending to justify a decision that will kill countless numbers—from people too stupid to even include a proper twittercard.
www.hhs.gov/press-room/u...
Link goes to the official announcement—lies pretending to justify a decision that will kill countless numbers—from people too stupid to even include a proper twittercard.
www.hhs.gov/press-room/u...
January 23, 2026 at 3:05 AM
And just like that, the US has left the World Health Organization.
Link goes to the official announcement—lies pretending to justify a decision that will kill countless numbers—from people too stupid to even include a proper twittercard.
www.hhs.gov/press-room/u...
Link goes to the official announcement—lies pretending to justify a decision that will kill countless numbers—from people too stupid to even include a proper twittercard.
www.hhs.gov/press-room/u...
Tagging @csmfht.bsky.social for obvious reasons.
Percy Jackson is the funniest children's series because the premise is basically "yeah the gods won't stop having kids and this causes problems for everyone but a god's gotta fuck, y'know?"
January 23, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Tagging @csmfht.bsky.social for obvious reasons.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
I asked about this yesterday if these "judges" had anything to do with the administrative warrants
www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/trump-a...
www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/trump-a...
January 22, 2026 at 9:02 PM
I asked about this yesterday if these "judges" had anything to do with the administrative warrants
www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/trump-a...
www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/trump-a...
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Remember when that absolute fool of a politician tried to suggest a bill that ICE wear QR codes instead of name and ID number patches like literally everyone else and I said it would be the work of minutes for them to dummy up their own QR codes to access your phones?
I meant this.
I meant this.
I have been told that this undercover ICE agent tried to get observers to scan a QR code “for his website”. The QR code did not resolve to a link.
DO NOT SCAN UNKNOWN QR CODES FROM STRANGERS.
This is a massive security risk! Bad things can happen to you if you do it!
Stay frosty, friends.
DO NOT SCAN UNKNOWN QR CODES FROM STRANGERS.
This is a massive security risk! Bad things can happen to you if you do it!
Stay frosty, friends.
Every day some story breaks me some. Today it’s the guy who approached parents at a school patrol, told them he was with Indivisible, and asked about how the patrol system works. The parents gave vague answers, followed him back to his car — and of course it was ICE.
January 21, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Remember when that absolute fool of a politician tried to suggest a bill that ICE wear QR codes instead of name and ID number patches like literally everyone else and I said it would be the work of minutes for them to dummy up their own QR codes to access your phones?
I meant this.
I meant this.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
If there are any international lawyers left working in the U.S. government, they might want to explain to this fellow why territorial conquest is illegal.
BARTIROMO: I mean, we talk about evil action from Putin going into Ukraine. People are looking at Greenland and saying, 'How is it possible the US can acquire another country even though they're pushing back?'
LUTNICK: I don't remember Greenland being another country. We're not taking over Denmark.
LUTNICK: I don't remember Greenland being another country. We're not taking over Denmark.
January 21, 2026 at 1:09 PM
If there are any international lawyers left working in the U.S. government, they might want to explain to this fellow why territorial conquest is illegal.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
It would be trivially easy to purge these ghouls from anything related to national security, just start drug-testing them
This is so funny after the incessant ads from Palantir about empowering, not replacing the American worker.
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
Palantir CEO Says AI to Make Large-Scale Immigration Obsolete
Artificial intelligence will displace so many jobs that it will eliminate the need for mass immigration, according to Palantir Technologies Inc. Chief Executive Officer Alex Karp.
www.bloomberg.com
January 21, 2026 at 1:12 AM
It would be trivially easy to purge these ghouls from anything related to national security, just start drug-testing them
On "The Agency" in 2002 I pitched a terrorism group with global reach that used environmental degradation as a weapon. It was rejected, as it wasn't ripped from the headlines.
Or at least, not the headlines of 2002.
Or at least, not the headlines of 2002.
The world has entered “an era of global water bankruptcy” with irreversible consequences, according to a new United Nations report. https://cnn.it/4qxGTNX
January 21, 2026 at 6:47 AM
On "The Agency" in 2002 I pitched a terrorism group with global reach that used environmental degradation as a weapon. It was rejected, as it wasn't ripped from the headlines.
Or at least, not the headlines of 2002.
Or at least, not the headlines of 2002.
News is depressing, employment sitch is depressing.
Then I got a package today with author copies. It perked me up a little. Got a story in this anthology, and I get to read 9 others that are all new to me.
Then I got a package today with author copies. It perked me up a little. Got a story in this anthology, and I get to read 9 others that are all new to me.
January 21, 2026 at 4:30 AM
News is depressing, employment sitch is depressing.
Then I got a package today with author copies. It perked me up a little. Got a story in this anthology, and I get to read 9 others that are all new to me.
Then I got a package today with author copies. It perked me up a little. Got a story in this anthology, and I get to read 9 others that are all new to me.
NPR had a bit on today about how OpenAI is going to put ads in ChatGPT after saying they wouldn’t. Then they said the ads wouldn’t affect the info, they’d just be placed alongside the content. If you believe either, I have your child and can be paid in gift cards.
OpenAI has absolutely zero ideas. They have no business. This is not a real business line and it’s so utterly vague and specious, I’m shocked at the credulousness to just print it without saying “there is no logical way this works of course” or talking about how the CFO of OpenAI is saying nonsense
January 20, 2026 at 6:33 AM
NPR had a bit on today about how OpenAI is going to put ads in ChatGPT after saying they wouldn’t. Then they said the ads wouldn’t affect the info, they’d just be placed alongside the content. If you believe either, I have your child and can be paid in gift cards.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've been to:
Metallica/Guns N Roses/Faith No More
Alice Cooper/Rob Zombie
Queensryche
Joan Jett/Morgan Wade/Alanis Morrisette
Lilith Fair
I think Broadway musicals should count, personally, they're kinda the same vibe.
Metallica/Guns N Roses/Faith No More
Alice Cooper/Rob Zombie
Queensryche
Joan Jett/Morgan Wade/Alanis Morrisette
Lilith Fair
I think Broadway musicals should count, personally, they're kinda the same vibe.
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve been to:
Kraftwerk
Radiohead
My Chemical Romance
Sigur Rós
New Order
Kraftwerk
Radiohead
My Chemical Romance
Sigur Rós
New Order
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve been to
Paleface Swiss
Ethel Cain
Cancer Bats
King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard
The Armed
Next one is Snot
Paleface Swiss
Ethel Cain
Cancer Bats
King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard
The Armed
Next one is Snot
January 20, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've been to:
Metallica/Guns N Roses/Faith No More
Alice Cooper/Rob Zombie
Queensryche
Joan Jett/Morgan Wade/Alanis Morrisette
Lilith Fair
I think Broadway musicals should count, personally, they're kinda the same vibe.
Metallica/Guns N Roses/Faith No More
Alice Cooper/Rob Zombie
Queensryche
Joan Jett/Morgan Wade/Alanis Morrisette
Lilith Fair
I think Broadway musicals should count, personally, they're kinda the same vibe.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Reposted by Chris Hepler
MLK was only 39 when he was killed. Growing up, I thought that was old. But I’m 43 now and I’m stunned by the burden he shouldered at such a young age. I’m also a lot more aware of how hard it is, at any age, to carry the hopes and dreams of an oppressed people on your shoulders, as so many do.
January 19, 2026 at 2:55 PM
MLK was only 39 when he was killed. Growing up, I thought that was old. But I’m 43 now and I’m stunned by the burden he shouldered at such a young age. I’m also a lot more aware of how hard it is, at any age, to carry the hopes and dreams of an oppressed people on your shoulders, as so many do.
Reposted by Chris Hepler
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
January 19, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools