SwampLizard
@swamplizard.bsky.social
SLP. PhD student in Neuro. This account is mostly for posting bad political jokes as some sort of coping mechanism.
It’s a plain optico-geometrical truth that on certain curved reflective surfaces, I make for a good looking Mike Wazowski
February 10, 2026 at 3:20 AM
It’s a plain optico-geometrical truth that on certain curved reflective surfaces, I make for a good looking Mike Wazowski
Person: what would you say if I asked you to circulate the air a little bit for us, maybe in an oscillatory cycle to cover more area
Me: I’m not a fan
Me: I’m not a fan
February 9, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Person: what would you say if I asked you to circulate the air a little bit for us, maybe in an oscillatory cycle to cover more area
Me: I’m not a fan
Me: I’m not a fan
Haven’t seen the Roseanne Defense in awhile. Let’s see how this plays out.
February 9, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Haven’t seen the Roseanne Defense in awhile. Let’s see how this plays out.
They should bring back the “lift handle to begin pumping gas” mechanism, that was satisfying. We need more levers in general, buttons and touchscreens are so boring. And some of those handles that are wheels, like on submarine hatches and big safes.
February 9, 2026 at 9:13 PM
They should bring back the “lift handle to begin pumping gas” mechanism, that was satisfying. We need more levers in general, buttons and touchscreens are so boring. And some of those handles that are wheels, like on submarine hatches and big safes.
Feeling a little overstimulated right now, could we move this meeting to the sensory deprivation tank?
February 9, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Feeling a little overstimulated right now, could we move this meeting to the sensory deprivation tank?
(some kid sneezes 100 yards away)
viruses: hey, let’s fuck with that dude way over there
viruses: hey, let’s fuck with that dude way over there
My superpower is getting sick from kids
February 9, 2026 at 3:15 PM
(some kid sneezes 100 yards away)
viruses: hey, let’s fuck with that dude way over there
viruses: hey, let’s fuck with that dude way over there
My superpower is getting sick from kids
February 9, 2026 at 3:05 PM
My superpower is getting sick from kids
Reposted by SwampLizard
I have a bad cold that I’m calling a rhinoviroceros
February 9, 2026 at 3:33 AM
I have a bad cold that I’m calling a rhinoviroceros
I have a bad cold that I’m calling a rhinoviroceros
February 9, 2026 at 3:33 AM
I have a bad cold that I’m calling a rhinoviroceros
Making a roux takes about the same amount of time as blending in paper, but has much less fiber.
February 8, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Making a roux takes about the same amount of time as blending in paper, but has much less fiber.
Remember, not everyone can afford hammers to hit themselves in the head with
February 7, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Remember, not everyone can afford hammers to hit themselves in the head with
Reposted by SwampLizard
Concentration camps: stories of as many as 50 people to a cell — men and women in some cases — with no windows and limited airflow, a single camera-monitored toilet, aluminum blankets, no showers and poor quality food.
ICE detainees from Maine being held under ‘inhumane’ conditions in Mass. facility, attorneys say
An Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesperson said the allegations of overcrowding and lack of access to lawyers are false.
www.pressherald.com
February 7, 2026 at 1:10 PM
Concentration camps: stories of as many as 50 people to a cell — men and women in some cases — with no windows and limited airflow, a single camera-monitored toilet, aluminum blankets, no showers and poor quality food.
Reposted by SwampLizard
this is so funny, god bless louise lucas, Hero of the Commonwealth
February 7, 2026 at 2:20 PM
this is so funny, god bless louise lucas, Hero of the Commonwealth
Reposted by SwampLizard
“Late Friday night, the Fifth Circuit adopted the extreme minority view—that the government can indefinitely detain without bond millions of non-citizens who have been here for generations; who have never committed a crime; and who pose neither a risk of flight nor any threat to public safety.”
208. The Fifth Circuit Jumps the Immigration Detention Shark
Late Friday, two of the nation's most right-wing circuit judges adopted an odious legal claim that district court judges from across the country (and ideological spectrum) have overwhelmingly rejected
www.stevevladeck.com
February 7, 2026 at 12:34 PM
“Late Friday night, the Fifth Circuit adopted the extreme minority view—that the government can indefinitely detain without bond millions of non-citizens who have been here for generations; who have never committed a crime; and who pose neither a risk of flight nor any threat to public safety.”
Reposted by SwampLizard
Unironically tho
February 6, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Unironically tho
Should have filled them with helium imo
Reports that Olympic ski jumpers are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to improve performance on jumps have aroused controversy
These Olympic Athletes Are Reportedly Doing WHAT To Their Penises For A Competitive Edge?
The Olympics haven't officially begun, but a report that ski jumpers may be using penis injections before competition is already arousing controversy.
www.huffpost.com
February 5, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Should have filled them with helium imo
Yes, it relies on plagiarism. Yes, it’s displacing art and artists with passionless machine fever dream slurry. Yes, it’s costing us money whether we use it or not. Yes, it’s awful for the environment & we could probably define a CSAM/melted iceberg exchange rate. But it’s great for atrophying brain
February 5, 2026 at 4:04 PM
Yes, it relies on plagiarism. Yes, it’s displacing art and artists with passionless machine fever dream slurry. Yes, it’s costing us money whether we use it or not. Yes, it’s awful for the environment & we could probably define a CSAM/melted iceberg exchange rate. But it’s great for atrophying brain
Life advice from Herman Melville
February 5, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Life advice from Herman Melville
The year is 2027. McDonald's AI kiosk won't take my card until I decline a $1.99 protection plan on the happy meal toy. In a moment of weakness, I decide to pay for my 10 chicken nuggets over time with Klarna.
February 5, 2026 at 3:25 AM
The year is 2027. McDonald's AI kiosk won't take my card until I decline a $1.99 protection plan on the happy meal toy. In a moment of weakness, I decide to pay for my 10 chicken nuggets over time with Klarna.
We’re dealing with a lot of complex moral issues at the pop/societal level, and it’s not surprising if you watch anything from the 90s, where mainstream movies for grownups were innovating moral breakthroughs like “ugly people aren’t bad.” They were real excited about that discovery until ~2002.
February 4, 2026 at 11:22 PM
We’re dealing with a lot of complex moral issues at the pop/societal level, and it’s not surprising if you watch anything from the 90s, where mainstream movies for grownups were innovating moral breakthroughs like “ugly people aren’t bad.” They were real excited about that discovery until ~2002.
Reposted by SwampLizard
The nazis raided and burned the first gender clinic. The Reagan revolution closed down most of the gender clinics in the US and left coverage uninsurable for decades. We've been here before. We'll get through just as we always have. With strength and resilience in community. They can't eradicate us.
February 4, 2026 at 1:49 PM
The nazis raided and burned the first gender clinic. The Reagan revolution closed down most of the gender clinics in the US and left coverage uninsurable for decades. We've been here before. We'll get through just as we always have. With strength and resilience in community. They can't eradicate us.
Reposted by SwampLizard
Striking from new Quinnipiac poll:
*Voters prefer path to legalization over deportations for most undocs by 59-34. Among independents it's 61-33
*Majority says Trump on immigration is making America less safe
Again, there's broad rejection of the whole project, not just ICE tactics (see below)
*Voters prefer path to legalization over deportations for most undocs by 59-34. Among independents it's 61-33
*Majority says Trump on immigration is making America less safe
Again, there's broad rejection of the whole project, not just ICE tactics (see below)
February 4, 2026 at 7:12 PM
Striking from new Quinnipiac poll:
*Voters prefer path to legalization over deportations for most undocs by 59-34. Among independents it's 61-33
*Majority says Trump on immigration is making America less safe
Again, there's broad rejection of the whole project, not just ICE tactics (see below)
*Voters prefer path to legalization over deportations for most undocs by 59-34. Among independents it's 61-33
*Majority says Trump on immigration is making America less safe
Again, there's broad rejection of the whole project, not just ICE tactics (see below)
Reposted by SwampLizard
WHAT'S up me hearties it be thy boy Ahab, with the biggest ounce of gold giveaway ever hath ye seen on the channel. Swerve not thy fixed purpose to attend this one, guys! But first I must tell ye the tale of SQUARESPACE, who be thy sponsor today
February 4, 2026 at 6:25 PM
WHAT'S up me hearties it be thy boy Ahab, with the biggest ounce of gold giveaway ever hath ye seen on the channel. Swerve not thy fixed purpose to attend this one, guys! But first I must tell ye the tale of SQUARESPACE, who be thy sponsor today
If you spend a certain amount of time driving around college campuses, you should get an honorary degree in avoiding vehicular manlsaughter. Genuinely don’t understand how someone doesn’t die every day out here.
February 4, 2026 at 5:09 PM
If you spend a certain amount of time driving around college campuses, you should get an honorary degree in avoiding vehicular manlsaughter. Genuinely don’t understand how someone doesn’t die every day out here.
Reposted by SwampLizard
And this is the trophy I won at the 1997 county fair for being the itchiest boy.
February 4, 2026 at 4:30 AM
And this is the trophy I won at the 1997 county fair for being the itchiest boy.