The Wizard (evil)
@theevilwizard.bsky.social
In the crease, straight up Shesterkin' it. And by "it" haha, lets justr say. My biscuit
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
Remember me? I'm the sidewalk guy who was on the end walking three people abreast in the opposite direction as you and only moved in 15% as you passed. We body checked each other at full force? I'm the ugliest person on earth? Ring a bell??
September 10, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Remember me? I'm the sidewalk guy who was on the end walking three people abreast in the opposite direction as you and only moved in 15% as you passed. We body checked each other at full force? I'm the ugliest person on earth? Ring a bell??
-Mr. Nickelback, is it true that, in the past, you said: 'we'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat'?
-I did
-And what did you say to that waiter after signing 'a couple autographs' for him?
-Uhm... I said: 'I'll have the quesadilla, aha'
*Jury murmuring*
-No further questions, your honor
-I did
-And what did you say to that waiter after signing 'a couple autographs' for him?
-Uhm... I said: 'I'll have the quesadilla, aha'
*Jury murmuring*
-No further questions, your honor
May 9, 2025 at 3:48 AM
-Mr. Nickelback, is it true that, in the past, you said: 'we'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat'?
-I did
-And what did you say to that waiter after signing 'a couple autographs' for him?
-Uhm... I said: 'I'll have the quesadilla, aha'
*Jury murmuring*
-No further questions, your honor
-I did
-And what did you say to that waiter after signing 'a couple autographs' for him?
-Uhm... I said: 'I'll have the quesadilla, aha'
*Jury murmuring*
-No further questions, your honor
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
Thick black smoke reeking of gasoline and burnt flesh has just poured out of the chimney at the papal conclave. This can mean just one thing: the cardinals have immolated Jay Leno.
May 7, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Thick black smoke reeking of gasoline and burnt flesh has just poured out of the chimney at the papal conclave. This can mean just one thing: the cardinals have immolated Jay Leno.
Process controls this, PLC that, how about you PL-see some women bro
March 25, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Process controls this, PLC that, how about you PL-see some women bro
How it feels to go to Kroger at 4PM on a Saturday
March 11, 2025 at 1:25 AM
How it feels to go to Kroger at 4PM on a Saturday
I need more pepperoni I need more sliced cheeses I need more stories about a strange creature that is much larger and more dangerous than the human but chooses not to violently tear them to shreds because she is nice I need more candles
This all comes from the same part of the brain I think
This all comes from the same part of the brain I think
March 7, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I need more pepperoni I need more sliced cheeses I need more stories about a strange creature that is much larger and more dangerous than the human but chooses not to violently tear them to shreds because she is nice I need more candles
This all comes from the same part of the brain I think
This all comes from the same part of the brain I think
What kind of psychiatrist do I go to if I feel like I want to become a pastor?
February 24, 2025 at 4:18 AM
What kind of psychiatrist do I go to if I feel like I want to become a pastor?
Getting some real Marcus Licinius Crassus vibes with this guy
February 23, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Getting some real Marcus Licinius Crassus vibes with this guy
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
>year of the snake
*Putting on my top hat*
>US has crisis and sorely needs oil
*twirling my moustache*
>RFK Jr. confirmed health secretary
*pulling out my wagon full of elixirs*
business has never looked better....
*Putting on my top hat*
>US has crisis and sorely needs oil
*twirling my moustache*
>RFK Jr. confirmed health secretary
*pulling out my wagon full of elixirs*
business has never looked better....
52-48, Senate votes to confirm RFK Jr. as the next Health and Human Services secretary.
All Republicans voted YES except one: Mitch McConnell, who joined all Democrats in voting NO.
All Republicans voted YES except one: Mitch McConnell, who joined all Democrats in voting NO.
February 13, 2025 at 5:15 PM
>year of the snake
*Putting on my top hat*
>US has crisis and sorely needs oil
*twirling my moustache*
>RFK Jr. confirmed health secretary
*pulling out my wagon full of elixirs*
business has never looked better....
*Putting on my top hat*
>US has crisis and sorely needs oil
*twirling my moustache*
>RFK Jr. confirmed health secretary
*pulling out my wagon full of elixirs*
business has never looked better....
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
Analog circuit designer here. I put lightning in rocks to make music louder. It's only perverts who are making them count
humans put lightning inside rocks to make them count numbers and now i have to receive emails
February 13, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Analog circuit designer here. I put lightning in rocks to make music louder. It's only perverts who are making them count
Why is the Football Robot throwing beads at me??? I'm not showing you my boobs Fox Broadcasting Company
February 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Why is the Football Robot throwing beads at me??? I'm not showing you my boobs Fox Broadcasting Company
I switched super bowl conspiracies:
I am now convinced that this NFL season was a governmental conspiracy to get the City of Philadelphia burned down to its very foundation
I am now convinced that this NFL season was a governmental conspiracy to get the City of Philadelphia burned down to its very foundation
February 10, 2025 at 2:24 AM
I switched super bowl conspiracies:
I am now convinced that this NFL season was a governmental conspiracy to get the City of Philadelphia burned down to its very foundation
I am now convinced that this NFL season was a governmental conspiracy to get the City of Philadelphia burned down to its very foundation
We could have stopped making rock music after "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen and we still would have won the Cold War by a mile.
February 2, 2025 at 2:47 AM
We could have stopped making rock music after "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen and we still would have won the Cold War by a mile.
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
A lot of you make jokes about guillotines but few of you have been getting your woodworking and metalworking skills up. Get those callouses made, babes.
January 28, 2025 at 9:05 PM
A lot of you make jokes about guillotines but few of you have been getting your woodworking and metalworking skills up. Get those callouses made, babes.
The older I get the more I want a printer in my pants like Cookie from Ned's Declassified
January 29, 2025 at 6:44 PM
The older I get the more I want a printer in my pants like Cookie from Ned's Declassified
This is who you're asking to work 40 hours a week btw
January 29, 2025 at 4:58 AM
This is who you're asking to work 40 hours a week btw
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
Once again being bullied by the incompetence of other people around me
January 22, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Once again being bullied by the incompetence of other people around me
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
what looney tunes needs is a prequel where bugs bunny confirms elmer fudd & marvin the martian are not on the spectrum before Targeting them
January 21, 2025 at 4:25 PM
what looney tunes needs is a prequel where bugs bunny confirms elmer fudd & marvin the martian are not on the spectrum before Targeting them
To all these fake bastards heaping praise upon Jimmy Carter like they were family.
Where were you before he died? I have been a real Peanutpilled Carterhead since day fucking one motherfuckers. I didnt see any of yall posting earlier. Did you even watch King of the Hill? Disgraceful
Where were you before he died? I have been a real Peanutpilled Carterhead since day fucking one motherfuckers. I didnt see any of yall posting earlier. Did you even watch King of the Hill? Disgraceful
January 9, 2025 at 10:52 PM
To all these fake bastards heaping praise upon Jimmy Carter like they were family.
Where were you before he died? I have been a real Peanutpilled Carterhead since day fucking one motherfuckers. I didnt see any of yall posting earlier. Did you even watch King of the Hill? Disgraceful
Where were you before he died? I have been a real Peanutpilled Carterhead since day fucking one motherfuckers. I didnt see any of yall posting earlier. Did you even watch King of the Hill? Disgraceful
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
insects who prefer warmer weather? why the fuck are you so sensitive all of a sudden. your entire body has like 2 nerves in it. you are shit
January 9, 2025 at 2:12 PM
insects who prefer warmer weather? why the fuck are you so sensitive all of a sudden. your entire body has like 2 nerves in it. you are shit
I love 40k but shrinking down to paint the minis is so exhausting
Today I painted a tyranid. (only one because my triceps were cramping from holding the brush yesterday) When I stepped back to admire it, it scared me so bad I fell into the pot of Nuln Oil. Now I look like a Frank Miller character
Today I painted a tyranid. (only one because my triceps were cramping from holding the brush yesterday) When I stepped back to admire it, it scared me so bad I fell into the pot of Nuln Oil. Now I look like a Frank Miller character
January 9, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I love 40k but shrinking down to paint the minis is so exhausting
Today I painted a tyranid. (only one because my triceps were cramping from holding the brush yesterday) When I stepped back to admire it, it scared me so bad I fell into the pot of Nuln Oil. Now I look like a Frank Miller character
Today I painted a tyranid. (only one because my triceps were cramping from holding the brush yesterday) When I stepped back to admire it, it scared me so bad I fell into the pot of Nuln Oil. Now I look like a Frank Miller character
Reposted by The Wizard (evil)
Fun fact there was this old website that taught about sex using graphics of Linux penguins fucking
December 27, 2024 at 8:55 PM
Fun fact there was this old website that taught about sex using graphics of Linux penguins fucking
This Grande Peppermint Mocha smells like ants
December 28, 2024 at 12:33 AM
This Grande Peppermint Mocha smells like ants
Y'know how in some video games if you cheat or are toxic, you get sent to the toxic/cheater lobbies?
We should do that with drivers
Fuck around and get a DUI congrats buddy you live in Michigan now
We should do that with drivers
Fuck around and get a DUI congrats buddy you live in Michigan now
December 23, 2024 at 4:48 PM
Y'know how in some video games if you cheat or are toxic, you get sent to the toxic/cheater lobbies?
We should do that with drivers
Fuck around and get a DUI congrats buddy you live in Michigan now
We should do that with drivers
Fuck around and get a DUI congrats buddy you live in Michigan now
Did the Smashing Pumpkins even know what a cherub was when they wrote that song?
December 22, 2024 at 12:32 AM
Did the Smashing Pumpkins even know what a cherub was when they wrote that song?