Andrew Thomas Jordan
@theatj.bsky.social
Professional Magician - do not attempt
Pinned
Andrew Thomas Jordan
@theatj.bsky.social
· Aug 29
A man born in the 1940s that had a leg up from the business his father started has been making erratic decisions at his current job, baffling most of the population while a small but fervent group loudly supports him…It’s just insane that Jerry Jones can be trusted to run the Dallas Cowboys.
He’s talking about himself and his family yeah?
November 21, 2025 at 3:43 AM
He’s talking about himself and his family yeah?
Why is Amazon playing all of Nick Chubb’s runs in slo-mo?
November 21, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Why is Amazon playing all of Nick Chubb’s runs in slo-mo?
Want to see my favorite move when I’m sent an insulting dynasty trade?
November 21, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Want to see my favorite move when I’m sent an insulting dynasty trade?
Yeah it’s going pretty good being a crowdwork comedian. I ask people what they do for work or if they’re dating whoever they’re next to and I just always say “whhhhaaaaaaaaaatttt that’s crazy how is that even real?”
November 20, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Yeah it’s going pretty good being a crowdwork comedian. I ask people what they do for work or if they’re dating whoever they’re next to and I just always say “whhhhaaaaaaaaaatttt that’s crazy how is that even real?”
Reposted by Andrew Thomas Jordan
You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't
October 13, 2025 at 9:39 PM
You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't
Reposted by Andrew Thomas Jordan
Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
Need someone for a WNBA dynasty league expansion draft! Who wants to have fun with a good group of people
November 18, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Need someone for a WNBA dynasty league expansion draft! Who wants to have fun with a good group of people
Reposted by Andrew Thomas Jordan
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
NEW: When Andrew Tate landed in the US, Customs & Border Protection seized his electronic devices. But @propublica.org found that a White House official told DHS to return the devices, emphasizing that the request came from the White House.
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
The White House Intervened on Behalf of Accused Sex Trafficker Andrew Tate During a Federal Investigation
Federal authorities were chided for seizing electronic devices from Tate and his brother, and told to return them, records and interviews show. Experts said the intervention was highly inappropriate.
www.propublica.org
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
Let’s go find out his thoughts about drag queens reading to children!
"A man pardoned by President Donald Trump for storming the Capitol was arrested on child molestation charges, according to Florida officials, who said he tried to use an anticipated Jan. 6 payout to silence the victim."
www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
Pardoned Capitol rioter tried to bribe child sex victim with promise of Jan. 6 payout, officials say
Andrew Paul Johnson, 44, faces multiple charges in Florida, including lewd/lascivious molestation, according to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office.
www.nbcnews.com
November 18, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Let’s go find out his thoughts about drag queens reading to children!
They all so badly want to be cool. They know their most ardent fans are fucking dorks and they can’t stand it. Look at all this pandering for a trinket just to be around fun people.
Ben Shapiro is spending a lot of $$$ trying to win the inaugural Best Podcast award at the Golden Globes.
Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/ben-shapir...
Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/ben-shapir...
Shapiro's Golden Spending Spree
Ben Shapiro is mounting an aggressive Golden Globes campaign, buying billboard space in Times Square and within Jay Penske’s media empire in a bid to win the inaugural Best Podcast award.
www.status.news
November 18, 2025 at 5:32 AM
They all so badly want to be cool. They know their most ardent fans are fucking dorks and they can’t stand it. Look at all this pandering for a trinket just to be around fun people.
The Cowboys play three games over the course of 11 days. That seems…excessive
November 18, 2025 at 4:00 AM
The Cowboys play three games over the course of 11 days. That seems…excessive
Starting to think I’ll only be voting for a presidential candidate that outright says they are going to put ICE agents in jail for their harm to the country. A thug with a badge is still a thug.
I’m still struggling with the fact that ICE “brown shirts” went to a taco shop and thought they would get served.
F that!
F that!
November 17, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Starting to think I’ll only be voting for a presidential candidate that outright says they are going to put ICE agents in jail for their harm to the country. A thug with a badge is still a thug.
Psyched to see we’re focusing on the important stuff!
November 16, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Psyched to see we’re focusing on the important stuff!
I don’t think Chalamet has even been to Tucson
November 16, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I don’t think Chalamet has even been to Tucson
Hahaha what a pussy
November 15, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Hahaha what a pussy
@davidjroth.bsky.social I want to make sure what I just earnestly laughed at was a Dennis Miller impression?
November 14, 2025 at 10:27 PM
@davidjroth.bsky.social I want to make sure what I just earnestly laughed at was a Dennis Miller impression?
Reposted by Andrew Thomas Jordan
I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one
November 14, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one
This ain’t too shabby tho
November 14, 2025 at 4:15 AM
This ain’t too shabby tho
Just clean house again. Idk that there’s a .500 version of this team. No identity, nothing to hang your hat on and worse performances from former all pro players. Coaching staff seems completely in over their heads too. Whole boat is lost at sea
November 14, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Just clean house again. Idk that there’s a .500 version of this team. No identity, nothing to hang your hat on and worse performances from former all pro players. Coaching staff seems completely in over their heads too. Whole boat is lost at sea
Me, a one time Jets fan watching the Patriots have a fun team again.
November 14, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Me, a one time Jets fan watching the Patriots have a fun team again.
It’s insane to say something like “I’ve seen Justin Fields be better than this as recently as last year.” Like idk I just don’t get it.
November 14, 2025 at 3:52 AM
It’s insane to say something like “I’ve seen Justin Fields be better than this as recently as last year.” Like idk I just don’t get it.
I don’t think I’m rooting for this team anymore.
November 14, 2025 at 3:48 AM
I don’t think I’m rooting for this team anymore.
Just a work of art.
November 14, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Just a work of art.
Ah Bad Beat$, where I change the channel.
November 11, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Ah Bad Beat$, where I change the channel.
Swoon
Nov 7th - William M. "Billy" Costigan Jr., an undercover police officer who infiltrated mobster boss Frank Costello's crew, was born.
📽️📅 The Departed (2006)
📽️📅 The Departed (2006)
November 7, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Swoon