Modern Alcumist
@streetlampkid.bsky.social
Slurpin' that vacation juice
Just learned I'm older than Leslie Knope is in the first season of Parks and Rec.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
December 15, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Just learned I'm older than Leslie Knope is in the first season of Parks and Rec.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
If you need me, I'll be swallowing glass.
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me
December 12, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me
At work, you might be able to have your phone volume up or stink like BO, but you should never do both.
December 10, 2025 at 6:23 PM
At work, you might be able to have your phone volume up or stink like BO, but you should never do both.
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
in the real world not nearly enough buckaroos goin around looking at clues with a magnifying glass
November 28, 2025 at 3:06 PM
in the real world not nearly enough buckaroos goin around looking at clues with a magnifying glass
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
if elected president i promise to be just as corrupt as our current leadership, perhaps even moreso. but I will also reinvest the entire defense and policing budgets into creating what i call The Health Cigarette
December 6, 2025 at 2:20 PM
if elected president i promise to be just as corrupt as our current leadership, perhaps even moreso. but I will also reinvest the entire defense and policing budgets into creating what i call The Health Cigarette
Is vague-posting still a thing? If not, it should be. Everyone should be able to muse uselessly into the void.
December 6, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Is vague-posting still a thing? If not, it should be. Everyone should be able to muse uselessly into the void.
Lol who even gives a fuck
December 6, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Lol who even gives a fuck
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
I still kiss my wife on the lips when she's sick because I hope that shit will kill me.
December 3, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I still kiss my wife on the lips when she's sick because I hope that shit will kill me.
Absolutely no one outside of Scotland can name more than one Loch and I will die on that beinn
November 28, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Absolutely no one outside of Scotland can name more than one Loch and I will die on that beinn
I need one of these for my sinuses
November 22, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I need one of these for my sinuses
Peanut butter and jelly and cheese
November 20, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Peanut butter and jelly and cheese
So far, the only negative thing to come out of society's growing acceptance of sexuality is that I can no longer say "Bite me" as a cool throwback phrase without being pegged as a bdsm type
November 18, 2025 at 5:49 PM
So far, the only negative thing to come out of society's growing acceptance of sexuality is that I can no longer say "Bite me" as a cool throwback phrase without being pegged as a bdsm type
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
as the homo sapien crushes pigment with water on the cave floor, then presses his hand to the stone and spreads the ink across its surface, marking the cave for thousands of years — he thinks “I can’t wait till this can be done with a.i.”
November 13, 2025 at 4:27 PM
as the homo sapien crushes pigment with water on the cave floor, then presses his hand to the stone and spreads the ink across its surface, marking the cave for thousands of years — he thinks “I can’t wait till this can be done with a.i.”
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
You expect me to watch the Free Churro episode of Bojack Horseman while I am not on a rock steady emotional grounding?
No. No will not.
No. No will not.
November 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
You expect me to watch the Free Churro episode of Bojack Horseman while I am not on a rock steady emotional grounding?
No. No will not.
No. No will not.
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
No I understood your wavedashing reference but frankly I'm insulted that you would clock me as someone who knows what that is
November 3, 2025 at 3:18 PM
No I understood your wavedashing reference but frankly I'm insulted that you would clock me as someone who knows what that is
I got the shoebody bop fever
November 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I got the shoebody bop fever
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
I’ll tell you where I don’t want it…inside of my balls
October 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I’ll tell you where I don’t want it…inside of my balls
They should invent a love that doesn't inevitably end in heartbreak
October 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM
They should invent a love that doesn't inevitably end in heartbreak
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
Inside of me are two wolves...
June 2, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Inside of me are two wolves...
