Speccy Twat
@speccytwat.bsky.social
Wazzock, dingbat and absolute flangleswubbler (not necessarily in that order). Vote 💚 ✊🏼
Typical Aquarian: arty, farty & cynical as fuck, particularly re. astrology.
Banner: Hyacinth Bucket (…yes) waving a pink cup while grimacing. Photo: A twat.
In specs.
Typical Aquarian: arty, farty & cynical as fuck, particularly re. astrology.
Banner: Hyacinth Bucket (…yes) waving a pink cup while grimacing. Photo: A twat.
In specs.
Reposted by Speccy Twat
Wetherby Services: what do you use when cleaning your toilets - out of date mackerel fucking pâté?!
(Good afternoon, everybody else.)
#SomethingSmellsATadFishy
#NoItsNotMeYouBastard
(Good afternoon, everybody else.)
#SomethingSmellsATadFishy
#NoItsNotMeYouBastard
February 15, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Wetherby Services: what do you use when cleaning your toilets - out of date mackerel fucking pâté?!
(Good afternoon, everybody else.)
#SomethingSmellsATadFishy
#NoItsNotMeYouBastard
(Good afternoon, everybody else.)
#SomethingSmellsATadFishy
#NoItsNotMeYouBastard
Reposted by Speccy Twat
The great news is that brother was found in Kelsall just before 10pm (3°C) and is now safely home. Thank you so much to everyone who had expressed concern, shared and in many cases searched .. so much appreciated.
February 14, 2026 at 10:45 PM
The great news is that brother was found in Kelsall just before 10pm (3°C) and is now safely home. Thank you so much to everyone who had expressed concern, shared and in many cases searched .. so much appreciated.
🫶🏼
Roses are red,
Beef comes from a cow;
Roses are red,
Beef comes from a cow;
February 14, 2026 at 10:55 PM
🫶🏼
Roses are red,
Beef comes from a cow;
Roses are red,
Beef comes from a cow;
Reposted by Speccy Twat
Reposted by Speccy Twat
My brother Garry has dementia and is currently lost somewhere in the Chester area. If anyone should spot him please call the police on 999. We'd appreciate reposts. @shitchester.bsky.social
February 14, 2026 at 8:00 PM
My brother Garry has dementia and is currently lost somewhere in the Chester area. If anyone should spot him please call the police on 999. We'd appreciate reposts. @shitchester.bsky.social
February 12, 2026 at 6:36 PM
Reposted by Speccy Twat
White smoke billows from the Vatican. The doors slowly open and a lone cardinal steps out. Nervously, aware of how many people are waiting with bated breath for his next words, he says “Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be….Shirley Bassey”
May 8, 2025 at 8:58 AM
White smoke billows from the Vatican. The doors slowly open and a lone cardinal steps out. Nervously, aware of how many people are waiting with bated breath for his next words, he says “Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be….Shirley Bassey”
Just back from dog emptying duties; I swear this fella’s spirit animal is a blackbird…
#BobcatGoldthwaiteAGoddamnMinute
(Morning.)
#BobcatGoldthwaiteAGoddamnMinute
(Morning.)
February 12, 2026 at 6:11 AM
Just back from dog emptying duties; I swear this fella’s spirit animal is a blackbird…
#BobcatGoldthwaiteAGoddamnMinute
(Morning.)
#BobcatGoldthwaiteAGoddamnMinute
(Morning.)
February 11, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Returning home on another train (dry your eyes, mate; it’s an amazing life I lead), and some mum and their c.7yo have just sat down two seats away.
Hmm.
On an entirely unrelated matter: is noise pollution (specifically chirpy Yank telly for sprogs) a sufficient defence in a court of law (m’Lud)?
🤨
Hmm.
On an entirely unrelated matter: is noise pollution (specifically chirpy Yank telly for sprogs) a sufficient defence in a court of law (m’Lud)?
🤨
February 11, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Returning home on another train (dry your eyes, mate; it’s an amazing life I lead), and some mum and their c.7yo have just sat down two seats away.
Hmm.
On an entirely unrelated matter: is noise pollution (specifically chirpy Yank telly for sprogs) a sufficient defence in a court of law (m’Lud)?
🤨
Hmm.
On an entirely unrelated matter: is noise pollution (specifically chirpy Yank telly for sprogs) a sufficient defence in a court of law (m’Lud)?
🤨
I am on the train.
Someone behind me just answered their phone, and their ring tone is an old alarm tone, which I used to wake up to Long Ago, and MAN, I am fucking triggered 😬
In other news: bit soggy out, innit?
#Soggy
Someone behind me just answered their phone, and their ring tone is an old alarm tone, which I used to wake up to Long Ago, and MAN, I am fucking triggered 😬
In other news: bit soggy out, innit?
#Soggy
a man in a striped shirt is standing in a hallway next to another man in a white shirt .
Alt: Ryan Reynolds, a brown haired dude that’s in films (and co-owns Wrexham FC), in a striped shirt that looks akin to pyjamas; he’s shuddering and flinching in a doorway, with someone standing behind him.
He’s obviously heard that ring tone, too; to be fair, the whole fucking carriage did…
media.tenor.com
February 11, 2026 at 12:39 PM
I am on the train.
Someone behind me just answered their phone, and their ring tone is an old alarm tone, which I used to wake up to Long Ago, and MAN, I am fucking triggered 😬
In other news: bit soggy out, innit?
#Soggy
Someone behind me just answered their phone, and their ring tone is an old alarm tone, which I used to wake up to Long Ago, and MAN, I am fucking triggered 😬
In other news: bit soggy out, innit?
#Soggy
Reposted by Speccy Twat
Wanted: Regional Director to work for an organisation opposed to home working. The successful applicant will be expected to work from home.
February 11, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Wanted: Regional Director to work for an organisation opposed to home working. The successful applicant will be expected to work from home.
February 10, 2026 at 7:36 PM
“I’ve just flung my £2.50 into the Bottomless Abyss of Hopelessness; have you?” was deemed, *somehow*, suboptimal when I pitched it to the National Lottery dudes.
#DontKnowWhatTheyreMissing
#DontKnowWhatTheyreMissing
February 10, 2026 at 5:24 PM
“I’ve just flung my £2.50 into the Bottomless Abyss of Hopelessness; have you?” was deemed, *somehow*, suboptimal when I pitched it to the National Lottery dudes.
#DontKnowWhatTheyreMissing
#DontKnowWhatTheyreMissing
Oh, do me a fucking FAVOUR.
Kemi Badenoch, smugly explaining how Starmer doesn’t command his party’s support? I’m not saying she’s wrong, merely suggesting she’s either even more gormless than first appears (tricky), or she’s so devoid of self awareness that she’s genuinely unaware of the irony…
Kemi Badenoch, smugly explaining how Starmer doesn’t command his party’s support? I’m not saying she’s wrong, merely suggesting she’s either even more gormless than first appears (tricky), or she’s so devoid of self awareness that she’s genuinely unaware of the irony…
a close up of a man with long hair and a beard making a face .
Alt: Jeff Bridges, with shaggy hair, a goatee and a very confused face, in close up.
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Oh, do me a fucking FAVOUR.
Kemi Badenoch, smugly explaining how Starmer doesn’t command his party’s support? I’m not saying she’s wrong, merely suggesting she’s either even more gormless than first appears (tricky), or she’s so devoid of self awareness that she’s genuinely unaware of the irony…
Kemi Badenoch, smugly explaining how Starmer doesn’t command his party’s support? I’m not saying she’s wrong, merely suggesting she’s either even more gormless than first appears (tricky), or she’s so devoid of self awareness that she’s genuinely unaware of the irony…
Just heard the phrase “trust issues” uttered on the radio, and I always (intentionally) mishear that as a reference to reliable footwear.
(See also: “eight to ten degrees” = me: ‘90°?! That’s hotter than I’d expect in February!’…)
Morning.
#TwatsGonnaTwat
(See also: “eight to ten degrees” = me: ‘90°?! That’s hotter than I’d expect in February!’…)
Morning.
#TwatsGonnaTwat
February 9, 2026 at 6:25 AM
Just heard the phrase “trust issues” uttered on the radio, and I always (intentionally) mishear that as a reference to reliable footwear.
(See also: “eight to ten degrees” = me: ‘90°?! That’s hotter than I’d expect in February!’…)
Morning.
#TwatsGonnaTwat
(See also: “eight to ten degrees” = me: ‘90°?! That’s hotter than I’d expect in February!’…)
Morning.
#TwatsGonnaTwat
Suspending my occasional cynicism, and revelling in a spot of iPlayer Unexpected Star on ‘Michael McIntyre’s Big Show’.
Fella’s got a cracking voice, and it’s just fantastic feel good telly.
If you want to take the piss, go for it… but I’ll think you’re a wee bit of a cunt 😇
Fella’s got a cracking voice, and it’s just fantastic feel good telly.
If you want to take the piss, go for it… but I’ll think you’re a wee bit of a cunt 😇
February 8, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Suspending my occasional cynicism, and revelling in a spot of iPlayer Unexpected Star on ‘Michael McIntyre’s Big Show’.
Fella’s got a cracking voice, and it’s just fantastic feel good telly.
If you want to take the piss, go for it… but I’ll think you’re a wee bit of a cunt 😇
Fella’s got a cracking voice, and it’s just fantastic feel good telly.
If you want to take the piss, go for it… but I’ll think you’re a wee bit of a cunt 😇
Reposted by Speccy Twat
A reminder I have a shop of prints and bits. If that’s not too gatekeepy of me. marswasrubbish.etsy.com
February 8, 2026 at 8:08 PM
A reminder I have a shop of prints and bits. If that’s not too gatekeepy of me. marswasrubbish.etsy.com
February 8, 2026 at 2:16 PM
Makka Pakka? That YOU?! 🥹
February 8, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Makka Pakka? That YOU?! 🥹
“Spuggy’s gobbling the mic again, man! Fuck’s sake…”
February 7, 2026 at 11:45 PM
“Spuggy’s gobbling the mic again, man! Fuck’s sake…”
Cher’s had another yoghurt; that bloody dairy allergy, bless her x
February 7, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Cher’s had another yoghurt; that bloody dairy allergy, bless her x
Tights to mimic psoriasis - why ever not? With this hellscape hosiery, ASOS, you are truly spoiling us… 😵💫
February 7, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Tights to mimic psoriasis - why ever not? With this hellscape hosiery, ASOS, you are truly spoiling us… 😵💫
Splotherguts.
What’s your Gladiator name mine is Goblin
February 7, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Splotherguts.