Speccy Twat
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speccytwat.bsky.social
Speccy Twat
@speccytwat.bsky.social
1.4K followers 830 following 3.5K posts
Wazzock, dingbat and absolute flangleswubbler (not necessarily in that order).
Typical Aquarian: arty, farty & cynical as fuck, particularly regarding astrology.
Banner: Hyacinth Bucket (…yes) waving a pink cup while grimacing. Photo: A twat.
In specs.
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speccytwat.bsky.social
A young Vlad Putin, if I’m not mistaken…
#totp
A fella with the most fleeting similarity to Evil Dictator, Vladimir Putin, on TOTP.
November 14, 2025 at 8:21 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Canine rapture 😊
My Romanian fuzzmeister hound, recumbent on a grey sofa; her lower incisors are visible, and her eyes seem to be rolling back in her cranium.
November 14, 2025 at 7:59 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
A lunchtime stroll has left me with so many questions…

🤨
A single left shoe on a leaf-strewn pavement; it’s pointy, sparkly, and something which, if I attempted to tottering about whilst sporting it and its corresponding number, I’d probably break my neck…
November 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Off out to the talkies shortly… 🎥
(Nobody actually buys snackage grub at the cinema, do they?)
I shall be taking my comfort rucksack, for emotional support*

*nibbles and shizz support 😎👌🏼
Two Ikea food bags, stuffed to the gills with sweet and salty popcorn; a small knock off Tupperware ish pots, one containing colourful Randoms, and the other with some chocolatey nuggets of fun from Aldi. Only the best! (No euphemisms were detected in this Alt Text, despite your beliefs to the contrary.)
November 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Clifford Syrup Richard, with jarringly darker hair than his aged skin might suggest. Dot Cotton, smokin’ a fag in the laundrette.
November 12, 2025 at 7:38 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
The beauty of that syrup was its ability, when upturned, to hold a decent portion of soup.
Robert Robinson on Call My Bluff, with the most preposterously combed over orange-hued head topper, since Netanyahu went to a fancy dress party as orphan Annie. An orange glazed dish.
November 10, 2025 at 9:37 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
And then they go all adorable and you forgive them bloody anything 🤩
A recumbent/ catatonic Border terrier, clearly in deep sleep and all shaggy blonde hair. Living the dream, this lad.
November 9, 2025 at 9:50 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
“Where’s your fucking poppy?”
Mulligan and O’Hare era Reeves and Mortimer: dreadful hair, ill advised clingy polo necks and visible nipplage. They both look somewhat angered, in no small measure by your not wearing a poppy.
November 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
“Where’s your fucking poppy?”
The Krankies, in their (for want of a better word) prime: wee Jimmy is holding a pint and Ian has a glass of plonk. He’s looking at her in a rather narky way (clearly, it’s due to a lack of respect for the war dead. Obvs.) Oh yeah, and Wee Jimmy is smoking a fag. (It was the 80s.)
November 8, 2025 at 10:09 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Resting bitch face 👇🏼
Mr Bronson from Grange Hill: a dour individual, with glasses, ginger-adjacent hair, and a ‘tache. His bow tie matches his fur. Evil, incarnate.
November 8, 2025 at 7:03 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Dictator - fucking LOVE you guys!
Oh, and I made a Grand Design - *proud face* 🤩
Up at the front near the stage - Dictator playing fantastic choons. Gormless muppet (yours truly) looking inordinately proud of a wee pyramid kinda structure, made of yellow beer mats.
November 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Heading to Salford to see Dictator tonight (the most excellent band, not the Seething Satsuma [other dictators are available]). Traffic is so cool and fun!
🫠
Still, it’s another opportunity to pretend I’m not utterly clapped out… Woohoo! 🥳😎
Sunset-hued sky from inside the car, with traffic and buildings all around. Not in a crash situation, though. At time of writing, anyway…
November 7, 2025 at 4:52 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Got bored at work.
An old ‘un, but golden.
Evening 😁
“What makes you… CALM” poster at work - the final word is cut out of brown paper and stuck to a big white noticeboard, upon which staff are invited to write their own routes to calmness: “a tidy house”; “watching Disney movies” etc… Close up of the bottom pointy bit of the M, upon which some witty rebel (no names, obvs) has inscribed “KETAMINE”. No idea who. Not a Danny… 😇
November 6, 2025 at 7:02 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
It really wasn’t though, was it, Tesco? 🤨 theory of relativity, right there (see? Actual *science* - you’re veh welcome.)

Ho ho fucking ho.
Screenshot of my Tesco app, as I desperately compete to book a sodding Christmas delivery slot: it’s cheerily reassures me, in suitably festive yellow font on a red background, that my “wait time is about less than a minute”. It told me this for nine whole faffing minutes. Bastards.
November 4, 2025 at 6:56 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
“You ain’t seen me… right?” 🤨
Close up head shot of my delightful diva dog from Eastern Europe; fluffy blonde hair, dark eyes and dark schnozzer. The white of her left eye is just visible on the nasal side (right side of her face as we look at her). She is, I have to admit, pretty awesome.
November 3, 2025 at 8:34 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Roses are red,
(This one’s for the berks…):
‘Budget to scale back Motability scheme “perks”’
November 3, 2025 at 7:18 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
I am eating some apple.

I am also being watched…

😁
My Romanian rescue hound fluffmeister, all shaggy blondeness and dark eyes/ schnozzer; she’s gazing up, looking at my (unseen on the picture) apple quarter.
November 2, 2025 at 9:44 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
My canine overlords require promenading and emptying.

How is one to refuse such dignified requests…? 😁
Bat-eared blonde fluffmeister, looking up eagerly (she’s a sodding Princess, and she knows it). My Batshit Border, straddling his particular zone of the spectrum with shaggy blonde hair and a wayward eye, God love him.
November 2, 2025 at 5:05 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
But I need all the months… how is this a good deal?! 😳

(Morning 🤓)
“60% off wall calendars” promotional email from Vistaprint. See what I did there? Yeah. Sorry about that.
October 27, 2025 at 6:20 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
I only scoffed it to not hurt my own feelings… 😇
An empty bowl, albeit smeared in traces of ice cream (Mackie’s finest vanilla), and with a teaspoon resting in it. Bloody gorgeous, that was!
October 25, 2025 at 3:18 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Oh yeah, baby… 🤘🏼😎😍
A now baked golden apple and blackberry crumble, with little pockets of dark red fruitiness oozing up at the edges in places. Yep. That’ll do nicely.
October 25, 2025 at 11:03 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
I’M DOING IT AGAIN.

#CrumbleLikeAWinner
#OrSomeSuchBollocks
Pre-bake crumble in an oval pie dish, on a foil lined baking tray… magic awaits. Oh yeah, baby.
October 25, 2025 at 9:40 AM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Nobody with any awareness of how cats function would buy this…

Cats give zero shits. As long as you cater to their every whim, they couldn’t care less about your emotions, or traditions.

Just give them 20 feet of tinsel to kill, and a festooned tree to launch onto; then they’ll enjoy Christmas 🤨
A new one on me - it’s a (far too early) festive card, seen today in my local Post Office: “Happy Christmas from the cat”, it spuriously suggests…
October 23, 2025 at 7:14 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Cracking sunset as we headed westwards, incidentally 🤘🏼😎
Beautiful orange/ yellow skies with rolling clouds and a darkened road stretching ahead, with multiple car headlights on the opposite carriageway to the right (thankfully, otherwise I probably wouldn’t still be here to post this…).
October 23, 2025 at 2:16 PM
speccytwat.bsky.social
Just seen some bloody awesome bands in Scousepool 🤩 particularly Danny’s Always Late (they will be BIG; you mark my words), and JJJIF (so damned cool).
Here’s Danny’s…, being marvellous.
Nice… 😎👌🏼
#FuckingAwesomeNight
A stage with three members of the group visible, all playing guitar Jazz Club: Nice!
October 22, 2025 at 10:01 PM