Chessington World of Piss (KC)
@spandex.bsky.social
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branespeaks / spandex / wevz
branespeaks / spandex / wevz
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![A twitter thread between Spandex and Jeff Samuels QC
Starts with a screenshot of Jeff telling someone to "get off your high horse" and waffles a bit in his Very Important manner. Jeffs profile pic is of him proudly wearing his daft judge wig
Spandex: Jeff larps his way thru another day yelling "I have SO much more Mana than you! AHahahah! Watch me cast Aura of Gravity! Wearing my Wig of Gondor (+5)". he's a longread version of the "sir this is a wendys" joke
Jeff: Is this english?
Spandex: yep, but it's from a world you don't understand. trying to think of a way to explain it to you... imagine a quite esoteric environment with lots of jargon, that's mystifying to those outside it. now imagine the players wear hilarious costumes that give them special powers
Spandex: .. but now.. imagine the players go into a chip-shop, still wearing their costumes and, forgetting that they're now just "another berk in a chip shop", start shouting "I smite you with my Venom Glaive!" and trying to do magic on the pickled eggs
Jeff: Drivel
Spandex: [ Posts screenshot from father Ted where Dougal has asked for loads of "Matador stuff" for christmas, altered to say "Queens Counsel stuff" ]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cx3qyf6ispkyoyoqcaaol4xx/bafkreiecnuz6m2dfv5djz3vwut37ypprzql2mhm3pkw7rz3il72ntcruwm@jpeg)
probably my favourite moment from twitter, taking the piss out of Jeff. he blocked me after this :)
"what's the matter babe? you've hardly touched your Festival Zone Laundry Toilet Stairs"
November 5, 2025 at 1:32 PM
"what's the matter babe? you've hardly touched your Festival Zone Laundry Toilet Stairs"
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Hear me out Slow Horses but Muppets, Jackson Lamb the only human
October 27, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Hear me out Slow Horses but Muppets, Jackson Lamb the only human
Just saw this handsome bastad land on the gate. Tried to get a photo through the window… this was the best of a bad bunch
October 14, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Just saw this handsome bastad land on the gate. Tried to get a photo through the window… this was the best of a bad bunch
Note that by "sensible explanation" he means "explanation that doesn't mean I've been wrong about everything for a decade and that doesn't involve me having to listen to anyone who correctly predicted all of this"
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
October 14, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Note that by "sensible explanation" he means "explanation that doesn't mean I've been wrong about everything for a decade and that doesn't involve me having to listen to anyone who correctly predicted all of this"
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
I really like Mark Fell and so am very excited to hear about the new "National Centre for Mark Fell Studies" :)
October 12, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I really like Mark Fell and so am very excited to hear about the new "National Centre for Mark Fell Studies" :)
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Yes, because if it wasn’t this, then lots of important white people would now have to go to prison and the irresponsible clowns who cheered them on would have to resign in disgrace
October 11, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Yes, because if it wasn’t this, then lots of important white people would now have to go to prison and the irresponsible clowns who cheered them on would have to resign in disgrace
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
It’s grimly amusing how this government incurred horrible political damage toeing the US line on the genocide, to the point where ministers will be twitchy about going through customs for the rest of their lives, and their reward is far right wingnuts and fascists screaming abuse at them.
October 6, 2025 at 9:22 AM
It’s grimly amusing how this government incurred horrible political damage toeing the US line on the genocide, to the point where ministers will be twitchy about going through customs for the rest of their lives, and their reward is far right wingnuts and fascists screaming abuse at them.
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Often, when paying my rent or swishing some water in a bottle of fairy liquid so it goes a little further, I am reminded of this Charles Moore spectator column from 2015, and the fact that financial hardship knows many forms.
January 12, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Often, when paying my rent or swishing some water in a bottle of fairy liquid so it goes a little further, I am reminded of this Charles Moore spectator column from 2015, and the fact that financial hardship knows many forms.
i mean i know what she thinks she's saying here.. but when i see someone like this refer to "our community" my immediate thought is "far-right weirdos, showbiz dumbasses and other assorted gout-sufferers"
October 6, 2025 at 10:07 AM
i mean i know what she thinks she's saying here.. but when i see someone like this refer to "our community" my immediate thought is "far-right weirdos, showbiz dumbasses and other assorted gout-sufferers"
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
The British Establishment are all crying about how a protest against genocide somehow upsets all British Jewish people but came to a consensus that wanting to murder refugees is a ~legitimate concern~.
October 5, 2025 at 7:00 PM
The British Establishment are all crying about how a protest against genocide somehow upsets all British Jewish people but came to a consensus that wanting to murder refugees is a ~legitimate concern~.
Let me be absolutely clear. i LOVE flags and i have lots of flags and flag pyjamas and nigel said his flag was biggest but i saw it when his mum was there and it had beans on it and my flag is better and i have flag-bunting round the edge of my flags and i only eat flag-flavoured cereal and
September 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Let me be absolutely clear. i LOVE flags and i have lots of flags and flag pyjamas and nigel said his flag was biggest but i saw it when his mum was there and it had beans on it and my flag is better and i have flag-bunting round the edge of my flags and i only eat flag-flavoured cereal and
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
This only happens to you once
September 26, 2025 at 7:39 PM
This only happens to you once
There is one (1) large fly in the house. It has been here for several days. It buzzes round VERY NOISILY for a few minutes, refusing all offers of open doors / windows. And then hides again until the next day. This seems very foolish to me. Neither of us gain anything from his daily performance.
September 26, 2025 at 10:17 AM
There is one (1) large fly in the house. It has been here for several days. It buzzes round VERY NOISILY for a few minutes, refusing all offers of open doors / windows. And then hides again until the next day. This seems very foolish to me. Neither of us gain anything from his daily performance.
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
3. this is not the moment for an incredibly expensive increase in state surveillance infrastructure to be run for profit by private tech firms just before Labour ushers in an (even more) authoritarian right wing government.
FIX THE GODDAMN COST OF LIVING INSTEAD YOU FREAKS.
FIX THE GODDAMN COST OF LIVING INSTEAD YOU FREAKS.
September 26, 2025 at 8:28 AM
3. this is not the moment for an incredibly expensive increase in state surveillance infrastructure to be run for profit by private tech firms just before Labour ushers in an (even more) authoritarian right wing government.
FIX THE GODDAMN COST OF LIVING INSTEAD YOU FREAKS.
FIX THE GODDAMN COST OF LIVING INSTEAD YOU FREAKS.
My daughter is a big animal lover but reckons “we should just let the pandas die out because they’re idiots”
September 24, 2025 at 6:00 PM
My daughter is a big animal lover but reckons “we should just let the pandas die out because they’re idiots”
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
September 23, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Tonight on the News at Ten: it’s the drivel and bullshit that political insiders you’ve never heard of sent our idiot correspondents today, read out like it’s terrifying revelations, because the lads like and respect very particular factional ghouls, and want them to succeed
September 21, 2025 at 9:07 AM
Tonight on the News at Ten: it’s the drivel and bullshit that political insiders you’ve never heard of sent our idiot correspondents today, read out like it’s terrifying revelations, because the lads like and respect very particular factional ghouls, and want them to succeed
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
this one is good too
September 19, 2025 at 12:49 AM
this one is good too
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
please, think about the damage you might cause before sending an invoice
September 19, 2025 at 9:24 AM
please, think about the damage you might cause before sending an invoice
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Considering presenting the USA with a Trojan Horse and it's just James Corden inside
There’s garden variety dystopian, then there’s “giving late night viewers no option but Jimmy Fallon” dystopian. More evidence that cruelty is the point.
September 17, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Considering presenting the USA with a Trojan Horse and it's just James Corden inside
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...
theonion.com
September 11, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
My ever-so-nuanced position is that I still think gun violence is bad but if it's going to happen to anyone, it's best happening to people who keep insisting gun violence is good
September 11, 2025 at 6:43 AM
My ever-so-nuanced position is that I still think gun violence is bad but if it's going to happen to anyone, it's best happening to people who keep insisting gun violence is good
Reposted by Chessington World of Piss (KC)
The most piercing judgments of Charlie Kirk I see today are the ones that simply quote his words for all to hear. What a legacy he earned.
September 10, 2025 at 11:53 PM
The most piercing judgments of Charlie Kirk I see today are the ones that simply quote his words for all to hear. What a legacy he earned.