Chessington World of Piss (KC)
@spandex.bsky.social
Opt-in Hate Mob
branespeaks / spandex / wevz
branespeaks / spandex / wevz
"what's the matter babe? you've hardly touched your Festival Zone Laundry Toilet Stairs"
November 5, 2025 at 1:32 PM
"what's the matter babe? you've hardly touched your Festival Zone Laundry Toilet Stairs"
Just saw this handsome bastad land on the gate. Tried to get a photo through the window… this was the best of a bad bunch
October 14, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Just saw this handsome bastad land on the gate. Tried to get a photo through the window… this was the best of a bad bunch
Note that by "sensible explanation" he means "explanation that doesn't mean I've been wrong about everything for a decade and that doesn't involve me having to listen to anyone who correctly predicted all of this"
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
October 14, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Note that by "sensible explanation" he means "explanation that doesn't mean I've been wrong about everything for a decade and that doesn't involve me having to listen to anyone who correctly predicted all of this"
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
And so, no, I'm afraid nobody has a "sensible explanation".
i mean i know what she thinks she's saying here.. but when i see someone like this refer to "our community" my immediate thought is "far-right weirdos, showbiz dumbasses and other assorted gout-sufferers"
October 6, 2025 at 10:07 AM
i mean i know what she thinks she's saying here.. but when i see someone like this refer to "our community" my immediate thought is "far-right weirdos, showbiz dumbasses and other assorted gout-sufferers"
Let me be absolutely clear. i LOVE flags and i have lots of flags and flag pyjamas and nigel said his flag was biggest but i saw it when his mum was there and it had beans on it and my flag is better and i have flag-bunting round the edge of my flags and i only eat flag-flavoured cereal and
September 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Let me be absolutely clear. i LOVE flags and i have lots of flags and flag pyjamas and nigel said his flag was biggest but i saw it when his mum was there and it had beans on it and my flag is better and i have flag-bunting round the edge of my flags and i only eat flag-flavoured cereal and
Interspecies communication is hard. I just wish the poor little kitty could speak and tell me what it is she wants
August 16, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Interspecies communication is hard. I just wish the poor little kitty could speak and tell me what it is she wants
hey! sciencey stats guy! i made u a graph. the numbers are easy enough to find online. i think your bias is causing you to hold opinions that aren't backed by evidence. plenty of people in the country wanted the 2017/19 manifesto. also party membership is a tiny % of party voters. happy to help!
July 28, 2025 at 12:11 PM
hey! sciencey stats guy! i made u a graph. the numbers are easy enough to find online. i think your bias is causing you to hold opinions that aren't backed by evidence. plenty of people in the country wanted the 2017/19 manifesto. also party membership is a tiny % of party voters. happy to help!
Doubful there are boomers following me.. but if you are, please don't fall for this scam.
Also, you're the richest generation that ever lived, immigrants and "kids today" have it infinitely worse than you do. And yes we know you were upset by a strike in 1974 and no you didn't fight in the war
Also, you're the richest generation that ever lived, immigrants and "kids today" have it infinitely worse than you do. And yes we know you were upset by a strike in 1974 and no you didn't fight in the war
July 28, 2025 at 10:31 AM
Doubful there are boomers following me.. but if you are, please don't fall for this scam.
Also, you're the richest generation that ever lived, immigrants and "kids today" have it infinitely worse than you do. And yes we know you were upset by a strike in 1974 and no you didn't fight in the war
Also, you're the richest generation that ever lived, immigrants and "kids today" have it infinitely worse than you do. And yes we know you were upset by a strike in 1974 and no you didn't fight in the war
But Ian, the elderly gaza protesters have picked a side! the greatest sin in such a nuanced conflict. i wouldn't be surprised if they use the word "genocide" too (probably imagining they're describing a genocide but actually, as you and your nodding Dorian agree, using it as a "membership badge")
July 23, 2025 at 9:32 AM
But Ian, the elderly gaza protesters have picked a side! the greatest sin in such a nuanced conflict. i wouldn't be surprised if they use the word "genocide" too (probably imagining they're describing a genocide but actually, as you and your nodding Dorian agree, using it as a "membership badge")
Yet another minor tussle with the cat. Vid makes it look like I started it but she’d already bitten me several times before I started filming, honest
July 11, 2025 at 9:59 AM
Yet another minor tussle with the cat. Vid makes it look like I started it but she’d already bitten me several times before I started filming, honest
a whole new kind of phishing spam! exciting. fuckin hate these pricks.
June 28, 2025 at 12:21 PM
a whole new kind of phishing spam! exciting. fuckin hate these pricks.
haven't been able stop thinking about Dunt saying the word "genocide" is a "membership badge". woke up to find that BBC News has decided that the word "genocide" now means "genocide" again! Maybe these Clever Men will do some Very Nuanced Research about exactly when it changed back!
June 8, 2025 at 8:53 AM
haven't been able stop thinking about Dunt saying the word "genocide" is a "membership badge". woke up to find that BBC News has decided that the word "genocide" now means "genocide" again! Maybe these Clever Men will do some Very Nuanced Research about exactly when it changed back!
My half-asleep Fitbit after I’ve been skating for one whole hour
June 1, 2025 at 3:23 PM
My half-asleep Fitbit after I’ve been skating for one whole hour
probably my favourite moment from twitter, taking the piss out of Jeff. he blocked me after this :)
![A twitter thread between Spandex and Jeff Samuels QC
Starts with a screenshot of Jeff telling someone to "get off your high horse" and waffles a bit in his Very Important manner. Jeffs profile pic is of him proudly wearing his daft judge wig
Spandex: Jeff larps his way thru another day yelling "I have SO much more Mana than you! AHahahah! Watch me cast Aura of Gravity! Wearing my Wig of Gondor (+5)". he's a longread version of the "sir this is a wendys" joke
Jeff: Is this english?
Spandex: yep, but it's from a world you don't understand. trying to think of a way to explain it to you... imagine a quite esoteric environment with lots of jargon, that's mystifying to those outside it. now imagine the players wear hilarious costumes that give them special powers
Spandex: .. but now.. imagine the players go into a chip-shop, still wearing their costumes and, forgetting that they're now just "another berk in a chip shop", start shouting "I smite you with my Venom Glaive!" and trying to do magic on the pickled eggs
Jeff: Drivel
Spandex: [ Posts screenshot from father Ted where Dougal has asked for loads of "Matador stuff" for christmas, altered to say "Queens Counsel stuff" ]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cx3qyf6ispkyoyoqcaaol4xx/bafkreiecnuz6m2dfv5djz3vwut37ypprzql2mhm3pkw7rz3il72ntcruwm@jpeg)
May 30, 2025 at 4:06 PM
probably my favourite moment from twitter, taking the piss out of Jeff. he blocked me after this :)
told @thonksynth.bsky.social that i had a weird 10 second episode earlier where my vision went blurry and he sent me this
May 28, 2025 at 5:42 PM
told @thonksynth.bsky.social that i had a weird 10 second episode earlier where my vision went blurry and he sent me this
in a WHAT now??
May 21, 2025 at 8:59 AM
in a WHAT now??
I'm hearing that starmer pledged to kill populism (great stuff!) through competence (a very clever way of being unpopular!) and that he promised voters.. errr.. "everything they wanted with no pain" [TODO: CHECK THIS!] and.. um.. something about "serious government" SEND TWEET
May 14, 2025 at 8:54 AM
I'm hearing that starmer pledged to kill populism (great stuff!) through competence (a very clever way of being unpopular!) and that he promised voters.. errr.. "everything they wanted with no pain" [TODO: CHECK THIS!] and.. um.. something about "serious government" SEND TWEET
Just found this old post-it that my daughter gave me
April 25, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Just found this old post-it that my daughter gave me
remember those blue ticks you thought were initially a handy shortcut for "sensible views, one of us, a good egg" and later for "$8 a month racist"? turns out they were actually a mark of "social status" and you wish you had one and you should chill the fuck out!
April 22, 2025 at 7:11 AM
remember those blue ticks you thought were initially a handy shortcut for "sensible views, one of us, a good egg" and later for "$8 a month racist"? turns out they were actually a mark of "social status" and you wish you had one and you should chill the fuck out!
not specialist enough really - but always makes me laff
February 25, 2025 at 11:35 PM
not specialist enough really - but always makes me laff
one of the nice things about having a friend who is a different species is that she can't catch your virus so you can still hang out together when you are ill
February 15, 2025 at 8:29 AM
one of the nice things about having a friend who is a different species is that she can't catch your virus so you can still hang out together when you are ill