Noah, Prince of Pumpkins
@sophicthunder.bsky.social
I’m like if Cuzco the llama came to life. My thoughts make thunder. Proudly performing the brilliant comedy writing of @danijustmight.bsky.social
Pinned
“Noah, that’s an inside thought”
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
For what? The internet? That’s INSIDE my phone?
Rewatched Julie and Julia last night. Stanley Tucci with his stache + slutty lil glasses combo is A+. I don’t often watch movies and rant “GET ME THIS MAN’S WARDROBE”, but…
November 11, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Rewatched Julie and Julia last night. Stanley Tucci with his stache + slutty lil glasses combo is A+. I don’t often watch movies and rant “GET ME THIS MAN’S WARDROBE”, but…
We all do, in fact, have a nemesis. I married mine. That was in our wedding vows, actually.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We all have someone for whatever reason is uniquely gifted to be our nemesis
And whether it be emotional proximity… our just good old fashioned know how
They are good at owning you
For Elon Musk… that person is Joyce Carol Oates
And whether it be emotional proximity… our just good old fashioned know how
They are good at owning you
For Elon Musk… that person is Joyce Carol Oates
November 10, 2025 at 3:07 PM
We all do, in fact, have a nemesis. I married mine. That was in our wedding vows, actually.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
We’re like if Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty had gotten married instead of beefing so much.
BREAKING: the Association of Naturalized Buccaneers is suing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, claiming “Yon branding be only made o’ harmful stereotypes.” and “Me mates don’t always be firin’ the cannons and drinkin’ rum, that only be most weeknights and occasional weekends”.
November 9, 2025 at 6:11 PM
BREAKING: the Association of Naturalized Buccaneers is suing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, claiming “Yon branding be only made o’ harmful stereotypes.” and “Me mates don’t always be firin’ the cannons and drinkin’ rum, that only be most weeknights and occasional weekends”.
I’m almost an HOUR into Casino Royale and
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
November 9, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I’m almost an HOUR into Casino Royale and
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
1) there is NO casino
2) there is NO royale
0 out of 5 stars.
If you ask @danijustmight.bsky.social, she’ll either mention my homemade fried chicken or my grilled pizza.
At the heart of every woman she’s essentially a food… figure out the kind… figure out the order and you can live as a god forever
Get ya ears off the charger and listen:
“I don’t know what I want” doesn’t mean I’m not hungry. It means I’m about two inhales from being violently hangry & lack the executive function to navigate a menu. Know what I like to eat and FEED ME so no one gets hurt.
“I don’t know what I want” doesn’t mean I’m not hungry. It means I’m about two inhales from being violently hangry & lack the executive function to navigate a menu. Know what I like to eat and FEED ME so no one gets hurt.
November 9, 2025 at 12:48 AM
If you ask @danijustmight.bsky.social, she’ll either mention my homemade fried chicken or my grilled pizza.
Listen to Amy’s wisdoms.
A church near me set up a food and household item giveaway and advertised around the surrounding townships. The street leading to it was blocked up a mile in either direction today. One hour into the 4 allotted for the event, they ran out of groceries.
November 8, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Listen to Amy’s wisdoms.
Of the people on earth, I think I like our president 8 billionth most.
November 8, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Of the people on earth, I think I like our president 8 billionth most.
Am I a bad person for telling my church friends that “Dogma” is the spiritual successor to The Chosen?
November 8, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Am I a bad person for telling my church friends that “Dogma” is the spiritual successor to The Chosen?
John Coltrane, probably:
Can we play the Jazz every game?
November 8, 2025 at 4:21 AM
John Coltrane, probably:
I found your mom’s beer.
November 7, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I found your mom’s beer.
The flight attendant: *brings apple chips to first class*
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
November 7, 2025 at 4:51 AM
The flight attendant: *brings apple chips to first class*
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
Me: PUT ME BACK IN COACH AND BRING ME DA GORBAGE
If you’re having a bad day, this might make it better. I’m pretty sure an Arrested Development episode couldn’t write this better.
Big day at U.S. District Court in D.C. where Sean Dunn, the D.C. Sandwich Guy, is on trial for misdemeanor assault of a federal officer.
Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.
'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.
Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.
'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.
November 5, 2025 at 3:01 AM
If you’re having a bad day, this might make it better. I’m pretty sure an Arrested Development episode couldn’t write this better.
Remember, remember, etc.
November 5, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Remember, remember, etc.
I just realized Kobe was the Anchor Being of this universe. Dang.
November 4, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I just realized Kobe was the Anchor Being of this universe. Dang.
The night after the Ides of March
Julius is OFF tonight
November 4, 2025 at 2:01 AM
The night after the Ides of March
I tasted this post, but only for about two chews.
Fruit Stripe Gum (circa 1961-2023): A line of fruit-flavored chewing gum, famous for the colorful, zebra-stripe pattern on each stick, and notorious for its expeditious loss of flavor
November 3, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I tasted this post, but only for about two chews.
Google every time you sign in from your own dang laptop
a man in a white shirt and tie is making a surprised face with his mouth open .
ALT: a man in a white shirt and tie is making a surprised face with his mouth open .
media.tenor.com
November 3, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Google every time you sign in from your own dang laptop
Do you guys remember the time Frodo got vaccinated by the Witch King on Weathertop?
November 3, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Do you guys remember the time Frodo got vaccinated by the Witch King on Weathertop?
Me: falling asleep
My brain: everyone who thought you were a super talented musician also likes the piano worship covers in Hobby Lobby
My brain: everyone who thought you were a super talented musician also likes the piano worship covers in Hobby Lobby
November 2, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Me: falling asleep
My brain: everyone who thought you were a super talented musician also likes the piano worship covers in Hobby Lobby
My brain: everyone who thought you were a super talented musician also likes the piano worship covers in Hobby Lobby
I used to think if they subbed me in, I could dominate my niece’s soccer games. But these girls are in 5th grade now, and I’m pretty sure they’d eat me for lunch. One of them just got drilled in the jaw with a ball and just shook it off.
November 1, 2025 at 8:37 PM
I used to think if they subbed me in, I could dominate my niece’s soccer games. But these girls are in 5th grade now, and I’m pretty sure they’d eat me for lunch. One of them just got drilled in the jaw with a ball and just shook it off.
“I know what you are.
You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time.”
You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time.”
Oh... i'm well versed in this... establishing dominance ... she's the alpha
October 31, 2025 at 6:14 PM
“I know what you are.
You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time.”
You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time.”
Consider your weener hollowed, Mr. Bond.
October 31, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Consider your weener hollowed, Mr. Bond.
Someone else says something about <noun>.
Me, muttering in astonishment: ouch. Right in the <noun>hole.
Me, muttering in astonishment: ouch. Right in the <noun>hole.
October 31, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Someone else says something about <noun>.
Me, muttering in astonishment: ouch. Right in the <noun>hole.
Me, muttering in astonishment: ouch. Right in the <noun>hole.