Sam Owens
@slamwise.bsky.social
Comm Legend, Team Birdman, Pay Cash. UWGB, THE Waukesha South High School
Reposted by Sam Owens
Last night the QB Kaleb Blaha broke Joe Burrow's record for for most total yards (rushing/passing) in single season at any level as UW-River Falls pulled a major upset to win the D3 National Championship — he’s also a bartender.
D3 Football: Your starting QB and WR are also working real jobs. Blaha recruited co-worker Rohrer who was playing for the basketball team to join the football team.
January 5, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Last night the QB Kaleb Blaha broke Joe Burrow's record for for most total yards (rushing/passing) in single season at any level as UW-River Falls pulled a major upset to win the D3 National Championship — he’s also a bartender.
Reposted by Sam Owens
my demands are simple, mr. bond
December 28, 2025 at 10:52 PM
my demands are simple, mr. bond
Reposted by Sam Owens
"It was beautiful and terrible, fragile and ancient. [...] It was... kind of glorious, I suppose. It was all lost when that world was destroyed. The universe got smaller and less interesting. Turns out, I prefer my universe big."
tfwiki.net/wiki/Escape_... #WeekendTFQuote
tfwiki.net/wiki/Escape_... #WeekendTFQuote
December 28, 2025 at 12:53 PM
"It was beautiful and terrible, fragile and ancient. [...] It was... kind of glorious, I suppose. It was all lost when that world was destroyed. The universe got smaller and less interesting. Turns out, I prefer my universe big."
tfwiki.net/wiki/Escape_... #WeekendTFQuote
tfwiki.net/wiki/Escape_... #WeekendTFQuote
Reposted by Sam Owens
"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—"
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
December 27, 2025 at 2:06 AM
"Did you see what Mark Cuban posted? Oh did you see the clapb—"
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
You shake yourself awake in the cold North Atlantic water. You are not online. It is July of 1858. You are a baleen whale, and you have changed your mind. The future most not come to pass. The telegraph cable must break.
Reposted by Sam Owens
we used to be a donkey belong country 😔
December 26, 2025 at 5:33 AM
we used to be a donkey belong country 😔
Reposted by Sam Owens
Santa Steaks are snow-aged, cookie fed and chimney smoked - you simply won’t find a more delicious cut of meat! #CityoftheDaySponsor 🎅
December 21, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Santa Steaks are snow-aged, cookie fed and chimney smoked - you simply won’t find a more delicious cut of meat! #CityoftheDaySponsor 🎅
Reposted by Sam Owens
Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’
Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’
MOUNT POCONO, PA—Delivering a highly anticipated speech about the state of the economy, President Donald Trump doubled down this week on his claim that groceries were a hoax perpetrated by Democrats. ...
theonion.com
December 11, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’
Reposted by Sam Owens
The company that will sue an orphanage for painting Mickey Mouse on their walls is about to put an official seal on every video where Spider-Man helps Elsa give birth to Baby Yoda.
BREAKING: Disney is making a $1 billion investment in OpenAI, and will allow its iconic characters to be on the company's Sora AI video generator.
December 11, 2025 at 2:22 PM
The company that will sue an orphanage for painting Mickey Mouse on their walls is about to put an official seal on every video where Spider-Man helps Elsa give birth to Baby Yoda.
Reposted by Sam Owens
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
Reposted by Sam Owens
ChatGPT cuts the crusts off my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm a big business boy.
December 9, 2025 at 4:20 PM
ChatGPT cuts the crusts off my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm a big business boy.
Reposted by Sam Owens
Reposted by Sam Owens
Reposted by Sam Owens
Reposted by Sam Owens
Jack White is the king of “indie dudes love sports too” representation matters baby
November 27, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Jack White is the king of “indie dudes love sports too” representation matters baby
Reposted by Sam Owens
A reminder that men only want three things:
November 24, 2025 at 12:57 PM
A reminder that men only want three things:
Reposted by Sam Owens
Shot + chaser
November 21, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Shot + chaser
Reposted by Sam Owens
Some say #LifeDay – we call it #BobaFett day
On this day in 1978, Boba Fett had his animated debut in the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which you can find on Disney+ under the title "The Story of the Faithful Wookiee"
#BobaFettFanClub #StarWars #DailyFett (1/2)
On this day in 1978, Boba Fett had his animated debut in the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which you can find on Disney+ under the title "The Story of the Faithful Wookiee"
#BobaFettFanClub #StarWars #DailyFett (1/2)
November 17, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Some say #LifeDay – we call it #BobaFett day
On this day in 1978, Boba Fett had his animated debut in the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which you can find on Disney+ under the title "The Story of the Faithful Wookiee"
#BobaFettFanClub #StarWars #DailyFett (1/2)
On this day in 1978, Boba Fett had his animated debut in the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which you can find on Disney+ under the title "The Story of the Faithful Wookiee"
#BobaFettFanClub #StarWars #DailyFett (1/2)
Reposted by Sam Owens
Relating to Spider-Man at 19: I too am underemployed, unsure how to pursue girls, and trying to find my place in the adult world.
Relating to Galactus at 42: I am from an unrecognizable previous millennium, hungry all the time, everything hurts and I live with a tiny person who won’t do what I ask.
Relating to Galactus at 42: I am from an unrecognizable previous millennium, hungry all the time, everything hurts and I live with a tiny person who won’t do what I ask.
November 9, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Relating to Spider-Man at 19: I too am underemployed, unsure how to pursue girls, and trying to find my place in the adult world.
Relating to Galactus at 42: I am from an unrecognizable previous millennium, hungry all the time, everything hurts and I live with a tiny person who won’t do what I ask.
Relating to Galactus at 42: I am from an unrecognizable previous millennium, hungry all the time, everything hurts and I live with a tiny person who won’t do what I ask.
Reposted by Sam Owens
IT'S '6-7', COOPER. A GENERATION ALPHA TREND. WHAT THEY CALL A 'MAY-MAY'. IT'S AN ORPHANED SIGNIFIER, NO SIGNS ATTACHED. ONE COULD CALL IT DADAIST, BUT SOMME SAY IT'S TOO STUPID TO BE DADA. IT'S ANTI-MEANING, ANTI-HUMOUR, BUT DAMN IF THOSE KIDS DON'T FIND IT A CRACK-UP.
November 12, 2025 at 12:31 PM
IT'S '6-7', COOPER. A GENERATION ALPHA TREND. WHAT THEY CALL A 'MAY-MAY'. IT'S AN ORPHANED SIGNIFIER, NO SIGNS ATTACHED. ONE COULD CALL IT DADAIST, BUT SOMME SAY IT'S TOO STUPID TO BE DADA. IT'S ANTI-MEANING, ANTI-HUMOUR, BUT DAMN IF THOSE KIDS DON'T FIND IT A CRACK-UP.
Reposted by Sam Owens
[ROB ZOMBIE, ABOUT TO WRITE ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE] you ever think about the car grandpa munster drives
November 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
[ROB ZOMBIE, ABOUT TO WRITE ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE] you ever think about the car grandpa munster drives
Reposted by Sam Owens
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything
FLOWER MOUND, TX—Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man Hank Daniels confirmed Monday that he was never going to stop being prou...
theonion.com
November 5, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything
Reposted by Sam Owens
October 31 vs. November 1
November 1, 2025 at 5:55 PM
October 31 vs. November 1
Reposted by Sam Owens
Stupid people wrongly blame others. Smart people wrongly blame themselves. This usually why good loses. Anyway, get a tattoo, buy physical media, and enjoy a hearty soup/sandwich combo.
October 28, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Stupid people wrongly blame others. Smart people wrongly blame themselves. This usually why good loses. Anyway, get a tattoo, buy physical media, and enjoy a hearty soup/sandwich combo.
Reposted by Sam Owens
Scarry Movie (1990)
October 26, 2023 at 2:01 PM
Scarry Movie (1990)