👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
@shoeslikecanoes.bsky.social
I’m a 7.5. Maybe an 8.
42/NJ/Please Don’t DM me 😎
42/NJ/Please Don’t DM me 😎
Pinned
I’m so hungry right now that my idea of S&M is spaghetti and meatballs.
"If it should be done, it must be done" is your Mom’s favorite sentiment about duty, justice, and playing hide the wiener.
December 5, 2025 at 7:43 PM
"If it should be done, it must be done" is your Mom’s favorite sentiment about duty, justice, and playing hide the wiener.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
The great thing about having a bad memory is that you learn new things all the time.
December 1, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The great thing about having a bad memory is that you learn new things all the time.
“I’m so bad ass!”
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
December 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
“I’m so bad ass!”
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
The real nightmare before Christmas is me going into the attic to get decorations and getting hurt n the process.
December 4, 2025 at 9:37 PM
The real nightmare before Christmas is me going into the attic to get decorations and getting hurt n the process.
Alright, let’s hear it 😎
December 3, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Alright, let’s hear it 😎
Uno reverse cowgirl
December 1, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Uno reverse cowgirl
The 'Scared Straight' program, but it's me looking at my checking account balance.
December 1, 2025 at 3:04 AM
The 'Scared Straight' program, but it's me looking at my checking account balance.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.
Shingles doesn’t care, Charlie Brown.
November 28, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Shingles doesn’t care, Charlie Brown.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
ME: *trying to say hi to an Italian person* 𝐵𝓊𝓃 𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁.
November 28, 2025 at 1:34 PM
ME: *trying to say hi to an Italian person* 𝐵𝓊𝓃 𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁.
Cashes in credit card rewards just to feel something
November 26, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Cashes in credit card rewards just to feel something
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
Alanis Morissette:🎵 It's not fair, to deny me / Of the Cocaine Bear that you gave to me 🎶
November 18, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Alanis Morissette:🎵 It's not fair, to deny me / Of the Cocaine Bear that you gave to me 🎶
You have your fight or flight instincts.
I have fight or fries.
I have fight or fries.
November 19, 2025 at 8:38 PM
You have your fight or flight instincts.
I have fight or fries.
I have fight or fries.
Alexa wants to fight me
November 18, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Alexa wants to fight me
No way this happy dude would burn down my office.
November 16, 2025 at 5:20 PM
No way this happy dude would burn down my office.
Is there anything more annoying than waiting for a key to be made? I’ll wait.
November 10, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Is there anything more annoying than waiting for a key to be made? I’ll wait.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
I'm tired of being the bigger person. Just once, I want to be the smaller person, tiny enough to be carried around in someone's pocket, shouting petty retorts.
November 7, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I'm tired of being the bigger person. Just once, I want to be the smaller person, tiny enough to be carried around in someone's pocket, shouting petty retorts.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
I miss the days of fearless journalism
November 7, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I miss the days of fearless journalism
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
Hate AI for your own reasons.
My number one reason is that it makes it more confusing and difficult to refer to Allen Iverson.
My number one reason is that it makes it more confusing and difficult to refer to Allen Iverson.
November 7, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Hate AI for your own reasons.
My number one reason is that it makes it more confusing and difficult to refer to Allen Iverson.
My number one reason is that it makes it more confusing and difficult to refer to Allen Iverson.
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
whistle while you wank
November 6, 2025 at 12:40 AM
whistle while you wank
Reposted by 👞 👞 👍🏼 🛶 🛶
I should have known your mom was the Reddit user ‘relentless slut.’
November 4, 2025 at 9:40 PM
I should have known your mom was the Reddit user ‘relentless slut.’
Happy All Holes Day to those who celebrate.
November 1, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Happy All Holes Day to those who celebrate.
Mauly Maul would be an awesome name for a bear DJ.
October 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Mauly Maul would be an awesome name for a bear DJ.