Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
@roanna.bsky.social
Comedy novelist/gossip columnist for imaginary people. Was once called the Dorothy Parker of Austin, TX. They might have been drunk. She/Her but not H.E.R (sadly). Member of Armadillo Authors Society. Learn more at https://www.armadilloauthorssociety.com/
Pinned
I am the personification of Myrna Loy's side-eye while making a martini.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Hiring the guy who torched Tumblr as the Washington Post CEO is one of the more blatant examples of how failure is a feature of the role. Not only can C suite people fuck up on a massive scale with no consequences, there is strategic value in dropping a fuckup into a role like that
February 7, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Hiring the guy who torched Tumblr as the Washington Post CEO is one of the more blatant examples of how failure is a feature of the role. Not only can C suite people fuck up on a massive scale with no consequences, there is strategic value in dropping a fuckup into a role like that
I saw dye-free Doritos in the wild today. The Pepsi Clear vibes were strong.
a woman with red hair and a white coat is making a funny face .
Alt: Lucille Ball sitting in a theater. She makes an 'ew' wince face. The image is in color and her red hair and lipstick look amazing.
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 12:57 AM
I saw dye-free Doritos in the wild today. The Pepsi Clear vibes were strong.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Haha this got set loose around the net and that's wonderful
February 3, 2026 at 8:15 PM
Haha this got set loose around the net and that's wonderful
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
i wrote a collection with my bestie and it’s gonna be out in the world soooooon. like, actually.
Coming March 6th, 2026, LOVE THAT FOR US by Chen Chen (@chenchenwrites.bsky.social) and Sam Herschel Wein (@samforbreakfast.bsky.social) is now available for pre-order!!
www.andchangepoetry.com/books/p/love...
www.andchangepoetry.com/books/p/love...
February 8, 2026 at 12:08 AM
i wrote a collection with my bestie and it’s gonna be out in the world soooooon. like, actually.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Hahaaa! This part. Also hers a gift link: www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/t...
February 7, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Hahaaa! This part. Also hers a gift link: www.nytimes.com/2026/02/07/t...
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
I know at least one man in genre who has several disclosures hanging over his head for things he genuinely did, but those accusations aren't mine to make, and because they will come with consequences, they have to wait until his victims are ready.
February 6, 2026 at 12:12 AM
I know at least one man in genre who has several disclosures hanging over his head for things he genuinely did, but those accusations aren't mine to make, and because they will come with consequences, they have to wait until his victims are ready.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Why don't they say anything?
Well, because when it happens to YOU, if you say something, that's frequently the ballgame. You get driven out of your community; you get to see what the people you thought loved you look like with the masks off. And way, way too many of them are monsters.
Well, because when it happens to YOU, if you say something, that's frequently the ballgame. You get driven out of your community; you get to see what the people you thought loved you look like with the masks off. And way, way too many of them are monsters.
February 6, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Why don't they say anything?
Well, because when it happens to YOU, if you say something, that's frequently the ballgame. You get driven out of your community; you get to see what the people you thought loved you look like with the masks off. And way, way too many of them are monsters.
Well, because when it happens to YOU, if you say something, that's frequently the ballgame. You get driven out of your community; you get to see what the people you thought loved you look like with the masks off. And way, way too many of them are monsters.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
The Strangers' Case
Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.
February 6, 2026 at 12:13 AM
The Strangers' Case
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
there were multiple different countdown clocks until the Olsen twins turned 18
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
I feel like maybe it’s a function of everyone online being born in 2002 but I don’t think most people realize how openly and explicitly pedophilic american culture was until like… maybe 10 years ago
Someone found an mp3 of the creepy "Jailbait" song Olivia Nuzzi released when she was 16 🫣
November 20, 2025 at 12:10 AM
there were multiple different countdown clocks until the Olsen twins turned 18
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Let’s not forget the Paris Hilton “sex tape” taken when she was 19 by her much older, awful boyfriend.
“When Hilton stated publicly that she had been "out of it”didn’t know what she was doing during the taping of the video, and didn’t approve its public release, Salomon sued Hilton for defamation.”
“When Hilton stated publicly that she had been "out of it”didn’t know what she was doing during the taping of the video, and didn’t approve its public release, Salomon sued Hilton for defamation.”
there were multiple different countdown clocks until the Olsen twins turned 18
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
reddit had its infamous 'jailbait' community online until late 2011
all of this shit was just out in the open, it was awful
I feel like maybe it’s a function of everyone online being born in 2002 but I don’t think most people realize how openly and explicitly pedophilic american culture was until like… maybe 10 years ago
February 1, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Let’s not forget the Paris Hilton “sex tape” taken when she was 19 by her much older, awful boyfriend.
“When Hilton stated publicly that she had been "out of it”didn’t know what she was doing during the taping of the video, and didn’t approve its public release, Salomon sued Hilton for defamation.”
“When Hilton stated publicly that she had been "out of it”didn’t know what she was doing during the taping of the video, and didn’t approve its public release, Salomon sued Hilton for defamation.”
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Epstein’s economic power among academics was made possible by a capitalist system that makes higher education dependent on the charity economy rather than a public good supported by taxing the rich
February 1, 2026 at 2:33 PM
Epstein’s economic power among academics was made possible by a capitalist system that makes higher education dependent on the charity economy rather than a public good supported by taxing the rich
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
My daughter is selling Girl Scout Cookies! 🍪
If you’d like to purchase some, to help her reach her goal, you can do so at the link. Also, I’m including a one-month premium subscription to Between The Hashmarks, if you let me know you ordered. Already a subscriber? Get 1 Free Month added!
If you’d like to purchase some, to help her reach her goal, you can do so at the link. Also, I’m including a one-month premium subscription to Between The Hashmarks, if you let me know you ordered. Already a subscriber? Get 1 Free Month added!
Order your Faves on my Digital Cookie Site Today
That's right! You can order your favorite Girl Scout Cookies from me online, all while helping my troop and I do great things in our community and beyond! Check it out.
digitalcookie.girlscouts.org
February 1, 2026 at 6:14 PM
My daughter is selling Girl Scout Cookies! 🍪
If you’d like to purchase some, to help her reach her goal, you can do so at the link. Also, I’m including a one-month premium subscription to Between The Hashmarks, if you let me know you ordered. Already a subscriber? Get 1 Free Month added!
If you’d like to purchase some, to help her reach her goal, you can do so at the link. Also, I’m including a one-month premium subscription to Between The Hashmarks, if you let me know you ordered. Already a subscriber? Get 1 Free Month added!
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
some good news buried among the horrible behavior listed:
“The third woman said federal agents at her hotel are subsisting on microwavable bowls of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, because it’s become so difficult for them to find restaurants willing to serve them.”
“The third woman said federal agents at her hotel are subsisting on microwavable bowls of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, because it’s become so difficult for them to find restaurants willing to serve them.”
I visited hotels all over Minneapolis, went into back rooms & talked to the staff.
They're afraid.
One told me she resents how her undocumented coworkers spend their days cleaning the rooms of agents who are “hunting down their family members.”
@notus.com:
www.notus.org/immigration/...
They're afraid.
One told me she resents how her undocumented coworkers spend their days cleaning the rooms of agents who are “hunting down their family members.”
@notus.com:
www.notus.org/immigration/...
February 1, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Thinking about whoever said that by accepting a meal from people and then arresting them ICE agents broke a cultural taboo that was invented by, like, the first humans to set up a tent
February 1, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Thinking about whoever said that by accepting a meal from people and then arresting them ICE agents broke a cultural taboo that was invented by, like, the first humans to set up a tent
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
1. "Lift Every Voice and Sing...."
By now, most have been introduced to the "Negro National Anthem." Largely because of its inclusion in major sports events as of recently.
But its author, James Weldon Johnson, was born on this day, June 17, 1871, in Jacksonville, Florida.
By now, most have been introduced to the "Negro National Anthem." Largely because of its inclusion in major sports events as of recently.
But its author, James Weldon Johnson, was born on this day, June 17, 1871, in Jacksonville, Florida.
June 18, 2025 at 1:32 AM
1. "Lift Every Voice and Sing...."
By now, most have been introduced to the "Negro National Anthem." Largely because of its inclusion in major sports events as of recently.
But its author, James Weldon Johnson, was born on this day, June 17, 1871, in Jacksonville, Florida.
By now, most have been introduced to the "Negro National Anthem." Largely because of its inclusion in major sports events as of recently.
But its author, James Weldon Johnson, was born on this day, June 17, 1871, in Jacksonville, Florida.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
More than anyone in the NFL, owners need to be held accountable.
Even 13 years after the fact.
Even 13 years after the fact.
Giants co-owner Steve Tisch needs to pay a price for his startling lack of judgment
Accountability is a word tossed around as freely as a locker-room towel in the NFL. But it has applied more to players than owners.
www.nytimes.com
February 1, 2026 at 6:16 PM
More than anyone in the NFL, owners need to be held accountable.
Even 13 years after the fact.
Even 13 years after the fact.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
I don't go here but a lot of men who are divorced, about to be divorced or otherwise not understanding why their wives don't seem to like them being INCREDULOUS about a man taking two weeks to care for his child and support his partner is hilarious to me
We are so cooked
February 1, 2026 at 6:16 PM
I don't go here but a lot of men who are divorced, about to be divorced or otherwise not understanding why their wives don't seem to like them being INCREDULOUS about a man taking two weeks to care for his child and support his partner is hilarious to me
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
January 31, 2026 at 6:31 AM
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
A cappuccino (after 11? Shame) and some handmade zines.
The 2026 vibe. Coffee shops and revolution
The 2026 vibe. Coffee shops and revolution
January 31, 2026 at 6:11 PM
A cappuccino (after 11? Shame) and some handmade zines.
The 2026 vibe. Coffee shops and revolution
The 2026 vibe. Coffee shops and revolution
Adventures in seeking lyric permissions, Week 2: Received a personal response from the publisher, submitted an official request using their form.
Back to waiting.
Back to waiting.
a woman wearing a pink head scarf and a red hat is sitting in a room .
Alt: Barbara Eden as Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie with her arms folded, fingers crossed. She closes her eyes and then bows her head in hope.
media.tenor.com
January 31, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Adventures in seeking lyric permissions, Week 2: Received a personal response from the publisher, submitted an official request using their form.
Back to waiting.
Back to waiting.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
You're gonna disagree with some moots about all the shit going on. Some people cope with the stress through optimism and some wish Chuck Schumer to be flung into the Potomac. Try not to be too dickish to people you largely agree with and focus your anger on America's real villain, Michael Rapaport
January 30, 2026 at 6:57 AM
You're gonna disagree with some moots about all the shit going on. Some people cope with the stress through optimism and some wish Chuck Schumer to be flung into the Potomac. Try not to be too dickish to people you largely agree with and focus your anger on America's real villain, Michael Rapaport
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
How you can support resistance efforts in Minneapolis through literary activism.
That, plus this week's book censorship news: bookriot.com/supporting-m...
That, plus this week's book censorship news: bookriot.com/supporting-m...
Supporting Minneapolis Through Literary Activism: Book Censorship News, January 30, 2026
How can you help Minnesotans as ICE continues a brutal attack on the city? Here are some means of support through literary activism.
bookriot.com
January 30, 2026 at 1:14 PM
How you can support resistance efforts in Minneapolis through literary activism.
That, plus this week's book censorship news: bookriot.com/supporting-m...
That, plus this week's book censorship news: bookriot.com/supporting-m...
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
I hate the term “sassy” to this day and I had to check my daughter teacher for calling her sassy because she spoke up for herself… don’t
January 30, 2026 at 1:01 PM
I hate the term “sassy” to this day and I had to check my daughter teacher for calling her sassy because she spoke up for herself… don’t
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
"Hi, everyone. I know things are hectic as heck right now, but please be sure to fill out your timesheets every Friday by 5 p.m. Central. I can’t pay you unless I know your hours. Please also try to be accurate."
I Am the Payroll Accountant for Professional Protestors in Minnesota, and I Am Swamped
“House Majority Whip Tom Emmer, R-Minn., slammed Minnesota state leaders after anti-Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agitators disrupted a...
buff.ly
January 25, 2026 at 3:00 PM
"Hi, everyone. I know things are hectic as heck right now, but please be sure to fill out your timesheets every Friday by 5 p.m. Central. I can’t pay you unless I know your hours. Please also try to be accurate."
I just sang the opening bars of You Light Up My Life to my cat in case you want to know how I'm handling being back in the office 4x/week.
January 30, 2026 at 1:12 PM
I just sang the opening bars of You Light Up My Life to my cat in case you want to know how I'm handling being back in the office 4x/week.