Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
@roanna.bsky.social
Comedy novelist/gossip columnist for imaginary people. Was once called the Dorothy Parker of Austin, TX. They might have been drunk. She/Her but not H.E.R (sadly). Member of Armadillo Authors Society. Learn more at https://www.armadilloauthorssociety.com/
Pinned
I am the personification of Myrna Loy's side-eye while making a martini.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
First shot: sugarcane
The backbone of Puerto Rico's agricultural economy since colonial times
Still used to make rum of course!
The backbone of Puerto Rico's agricultural economy since colonial times
Still used to make rum of course!
February 9, 2026 at 2:33 AM
First shot: sugarcane
The backbone of Puerto Rico's agricultural economy since colonial times
Still used to make rum of course!
The backbone of Puerto Rico's agricultural economy since colonial times
Still used to make rum of course!
Look, I gave up on Spanish because when I speak it I sound like Peggy Hill--I can't stand to hear myself and I can't roll my Rs worth a *shit*. But let me tell you how much I want to restart DuoLingo because of that performance.
February 9, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Look, I gave up on Spanish because when I speak it I sound like Peggy Hill--I can't stand to hear myself and I can't roll my Rs worth a *shit*. But let me tell you how much I want to restart DuoLingo because of that performance.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
It's been said many times, many ways: the fascists thought winning an election would mean winning the culture, and the fact that hasn't happened is making them rabid.
February 9, 2026 at 3:35 AM
It's been said many times, many ways: the fascists thought winning an election would mean winning the culture, and the fact that hasn't happened is making them rabid.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Amber Glenn, a queer Texan who started ice skating at the stonebriar mall in frisco at age 5, who plays magic the gathering, is an olympic gold medalist
grateful to work at a place that always lets me write about how much i love gay women
www.chron.com/culture/arti...
www.chron.com/culture/arti...
Amber Glenn, a queer icon from Texas, is about to make Olympic history
The American figure skater's unapologetic queerness feels more important than ever.
www.chron.com
February 8, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Amber Glenn, a queer Texan who started ice skating at the stonebriar mall in frisco at age 5, who plays magic the gathering, is an olympic gold medalist
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Folks, let's say it together: it's baseball season.
February 9, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Folks, let's say it together: it's baseball season.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Unidos somos América.
February 9, 2026 at 2:16 AM
Unidos somos América.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
The vibe of the Halftime Show
February 9, 2026 at 1:40 AM
The vibe of the Halftime Show
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
dude, just shoot me into the stars. the United States are a fucking wreck but you cannot deny me the joy of its people
#BadBunny's performers continued to dance and party outside the stadium after the #SuperBowl #HalftimeShow
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 AM
dude, just shoot me into the stars. the United States are a fucking wreck but you cannot deny me the joy of its people
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Sunny beat me to the very next statement I was going to make.
The whole performance wasn’t about the triumph of the individual, but the collective effort and joy that that elevates all of us out of oppression.
They literally danced their way through and out of the history of colonialism TOGETHER.
The whole performance wasn’t about the triumph of the individual, but the collective effort and joy that that elevates all of us out of oppression.
They literally danced their way through and out of the history of colonialism TOGETHER.
Okay so a thing I LOVED about that is how, whereas so many halftime shows kind of elevate the star above the other dancers/extras—often literally—that was like the exact opposite, he was *with and among* the people around him
February 9, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Sunny beat me to the very next statement I was going to make.
The whole performance wasn’t about the triumph of the individual, but the collective effort and joy that that elevates all of us out of oppression.
They literally danced their way through and out of the history of colonialism TOGETHER.
The whole performance wasn’t about the triumph of the individual, but the collective effort and joy that that elevates all of us out of oppression.
They literally danced their way through and out of the history of colonialism TOGETHER.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
The constant AI ads tonight have all reeked of desperation, but this is just flat out funny.
February 9, 2026 at 3:03 AM
The constant AI ads tonight have all reeked of desperation, but this is just flat out funny.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
I did it with publishing and i'm doing it now with a jewelry store.
The artist cannot art because the artist is not supported, so the artist becomes marketing and entertainment and a whole lot of other things that takes time away from the craft.
The artist cannot art because the artist is not supported, so the artist becomes marketing and entertainment and a whole lot of other things that takes time away from the craft.
February 9, 2026 at 3:14 AM
I did it with publishing and i'm doing it now with a jewelry store.
The artist cannot art because the artist is not supported, so the artist becomes marketing and entertainment and a whole lot of other things that takes time away from the craft.
The artist cannot art because the artist is not supported, so the artist becomes marketing and entertainment and a whole lot of other things that takes time away from the craft.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
We owe the existence of the modern half time show to Black people.
February 9, 2026 at 2:23 AM
We owe the existence of the modern half time show to Black people.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
PSA: SEAHAWKS KICKER JASON MYERS IS NOW ON THE SUPER BOWL MVP BALLOT
VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES
www.nfl.com/super-bowl/m...
VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES
www.nfl.com/super-bowl/m...
February 9, 2026 at 2:48 AM
PSA: SEAHAWKS KICKER JASON MYERS IS NOW ON THE SUPER BOWL MVP BALLOT
VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES
www.nfl.com/super-bowl/m...
VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES
www.nfl.com/super-bowl/m...
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Birnam Wood is moving to Dunsinane Hill
February 9, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Birnam Wood is moving to Dunsinane Hill
I spoke too soon. This game is a full Drake diss.
Have to hand it to Kendrick. I didn't see this one coming.
Have to hand it to Kendrick. I didn't see this one coming.
February 9, 2026 at 2:54 AM
I spoke too soon. This game is a full Drake diss.
Have to hand it to Kendrick. I didn't see this one coming.
Have to hand it to Kendrick. I didn't see this one coming.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
you know what's cheaper and safer than a ring camera? a fake camera. I've had one since my last porch theft three years ago and it even fooled the eye of a cop trying to get me to snitch on my neighbors. you can't subpoena a recording that doesnt exist.
February 9, 2026 at 2:46 AM
you know what's cheaper and safer than a ring camera? a fake camera. I've had one since my last porch theft three years ago and it even fooled the eye of a cop trying to get me to snitch on my neighbors. you can't subpoena a recording that doesnt exist.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Remember. Your Ring camera is fascist.
The nice commercial about helping kids find their lost pets was the scariest thing I've seen in my life
February 9, 2026 at 2:31 AM
Remember. Your Ring camera is fascist.
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
why is this game giving cardinals thursday night football
February 9, 2026 at 2:17 AM
why is this game giving cardinals thursday night football
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
If you didn’t catch the significance of the exploding transformers in Bad Bunny’s halftime show, I gotcha. Here’s one of a bunch of pieces I wrote from/on Puerto Rico about the crisis—and Trump’s role in it. slate.com/news-and-pol...
Washington’s Corruption Has Created Another Humanitarian Crisis in Puerto Rico
The island’s earthquakes are its latest man-made disaster.
slate.com
February 9, 2026 at 1:59 AM
If you didn’t catch the significance of the exploding transformers in Bad Bunny’s halftime show, I gotcha. Here’s one of a bunch of pieces I wrote from/on Puerto Rico about the crisis—and Trump’s role in it. slate.com/news-and-pol...
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
It was transforming the biggest NFL stage in the world into a sugar cane plantation that did it for me.
Like, the multiple layers of turning an American icon into a plantation and highlighting the history of exploitation of Black and Brown bodies by the NFL and American colonialism simultaneously?
Like, the multiple layers of turning an American icon into a plantation and highlighting the history of exploitation of Black and Brown bodies by the NFL and American colonialism simultaneously?
February 9, 2026 at 1:54 AM
It was transforming the biggest NFL stage in the world into a sugar cane plantation that did it for me.
Like, the multiple layers of turning an American icon into a plantation and highlighting the history of exploitation of Black and Brown bodies by the NFL and American colonialism simultaneously?
Like, the multiple layers of turning an American icon into a plantation and highlighting the history of exploitation of Black and Brown bodies by the NFL and American colonialism simultaneously?
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
Bad Bunny’s beautiful and joyful portrayal of Puerto Rico stands on the shoulders of Kendrick Lamar’s love letter to Compton last year.
Watching the biggest performance in the world become a representation of real people in real, American places is beautiful. #SuperBowl
Watching the biggest performance in the world become a representation of real people in real, American places is beautiful. #SuperBowl
February 9, 2026 at 1:57 AM
Bad Bunny’s beautiful and joyful portrayal of Puerto Rico stands on the shoulders of Kendrick Lamar’s love letter to Compton last year.
Watching the biggest performance in the world become a representation of real people in real, American places is beautiful. #SuperBowl
Watching the biggest performance in the world become a representation of real people in real, American places is beautiful. #SuperBowl
Reposted by Roanna Flowers (aka Petty Davis)
The Revolution Will Not Be Subtitled
WOKE 2 IS HERE
February 9, 2026 at 1:54 AM
The Revolution Will Not Be Subtitled