@realgreendress.bsky.social
follow me because you like my butt
Howl's moving castle is twerking
October 9, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Howl's moving castle is twerking
What happens when CaptainAmerica meets Indiana Jones?
October 5, 2025 at 9:11 PM
What happens when CaptainAmerica meets Indiana Jones?
Reposted
Bone china? Wow, I’ve never been THAT horny.
October 2, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Bone china? Wow, I’ve never been THAT horny.
This looks like tinkerbell threw up frooty pebbles
October 3, 2025 at 12:49 AM
This looks like tinkerbell threw up frooty pebbles
Reposted
I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
September 24, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
I'm never sure what to call out when I don't know his name.
Definitely not "labubu!"
Definitely not "labubu!"
September 24, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I'm never sure what to call out when I don't know his name.
Definitely not "labubu!"
Definitely not "labubu!"
Barenaked Men
subtly downgrade a band:
Prince Crimson
Prince Crimson
subtly downgrade a band:
Some Doubt
Some Doubt
September 22, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Barenaked Men
I am seeking investors for my sex toy company called Choose the Bear.
First product will be the Bear. Quiet enough to use alone in the woods so you don't have to be
First product will be the Bear. Quiet enough to use alone in the woods so you don't have to be
September 22, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I am seeking investors for my sex toy company called Choose the Bear.
First product will be the Bear. Quiet enough to use alone in the woods so you don't have to be
First product will be the Bear. Quiet enough to use alone in the woods so you don't have to be
I can't remember what we did during commercial breaks before we made fun of the assholes in tardive dyskinesia commercials
September 4, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I can't remember what we did during commercial breaks before we made fun of the assholes in tardive dyskinesia commercials
Reposted
Reposted
AP Photo: President Trump catching some of summer's last rays in relaxing Camp David weekend.
August 30, 2025 at 8:35 PM
AP Photo: President Trump catching some of summer's last rays in relaxing Camp David weekend.
Reposted
honestly when someone murders me, that is the end of us being friends immediately sorry
November 13, 2024 at 1:06 AM
honestly when someone murders me, that is the end of us being friends immediately sorry
Reposted
Everyone in the country is praying for Trump.
but different
but different
August 30, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Everyone in the country is praying for Trump.
but different
but different
Spouse is so frustrated with search results. All the options for "teenage mutany ninja turtle sex generator" are AI
August 20, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Spouse is so frustrated with search results. All the options for "teenage mutany ninja turtle sex generator" are AI
The downy beads commercial makes way more sense with the tardive dyskinesia commercial
August 10, 2025 at 4:07 AM
The downy beads commercial makes way more sense with the tardive dyskinesia commercial
When you say 'robot dog' do you mean 'pig'?
July 25, 2025 at 9:25 PM
When you say 'robot dog' do you mean 'pig'?
ICE gets access to medicaid records so they can just decide and medical condition is a deportable offense
July 18, 2025 at 4:18 AM
ICE gets access to medicaid records so they can just decide and medical condition is a deportable offense
Listening to a song on repeat like 'oh yay! It's my song again!'
July 16, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Listening to a song on repeat like 'oh yay! It's my song again!'
I didn't scroll past your video.
I closed the app. your video was the doom of my doom scrolling
I closed the app. your video was the doom of my doom scrolling
July 13, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I didn't scroll past your video.
I closed the app. your video was the doom of my doom scrolling
I closed the app. your video was the doom of my doom scrolling
Reposted
“Okay, I’m ready for all this to stop,” I say, gesturing around at fucking everything.
July 8, 2025 at 1:46 AM
“Okay, I’m ready for all this to stop,” I say, gesturing around at fucking everything.
I would watch the hell out of a show called: bi-women; 4 women
July 8, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I would watch the hell out of a show called: bi-women; 4 women
Spouse- I put you on my notifications.
Me- cool. I'm here now. I can't see your notifications.
Me- cool. I'm here now. I can't see your notifications.
July 8, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Spouse- I put you on my notifications.
Me- cool. I'm here now. I can't see your notifications.
Me- cool. I'm here now. I can't see your notifications.
I need Häagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry's to get together to create reverse mint chip.
I want chocolate with mint chunks
I want chocolate with mint chunks
July 6, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I need Häagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry's to get together to create reverse mint chip.
I want chocolate with mint chunks
I want chocolate with mint chunks
Reposted
First date idea: you go out with someone else and I chill at home.
July 3, 2025 at 9:33 PM
First date idea: you go out with someone else and I chill at home.